Reclaiming Jenn

Moving On

2011-11-19T18:19:00.001-06:00

I'm moving on from this blog and from blogger. If you'd still like to follow me, I will now be living at
www.livinginlethargy.wordpress.com

I warn you that I am more in a bitching and moaning kindof phase at the moment but that could certainly change ;)

The Agony of My Feet!

2010-10-30T11:30:00.000-05:00

Have I ever mentioned that nurses are the worst patients?

I don't remotely pretend to have all of the acquired knowledge of a physician - my nursing curriculum was 4 semesters while they attend for 4 years. I am however relatively savvy on researching health issues and common treatments. I don't generally head to a doctor unless I am completely ignorant of what is ailing me OR I know that I need prescription medication. Maybe that makes me a bad patient, but I prefer to think that it makes me an educated healthcare consumer.

Where is this going?

Well my feet hurt - a lot. I've had problems off an on since last October - yes, October 2009! It first manifested after a 10 mile walk/run while training for the Bass Pro half-marathon. I had recently been fitted for new shoes and after being considered a neutral runner prior to pregnancy, I had now developed some overpronation. I was put in some mild motion control shoes and even saw on a nifty video analysis of my running on a treadmill how the new shoes kept me from rolling inward.

I had managed to make most of my training prior to this and had even done a 7 mile and 8 mile long walk/run without any issues. This 10 miler hurt though and it hurt near the balls of both feet. It started first in the left and then the right, best described as a sharp pain that was worse when I was running but still hurt during the walk. I was sore a day or two and decided to be smart and only do a 10K as opposed to the planned half two weeks later.

Over the winter, I didn't do a lot of training for various reasons and as the Little Rock Half-Marathon approached in March, I started to do some training and began as couch to 5K program again. I was still having problems after going about a mile and a half and it was this sharp pain in the ball of my foot. I went back to the running store and was fitted with another pair of motion control shoes but with a little more cushion in the forefoot. I decided to go ahead and walk the half-marathon because I had already paid my registration. Besides, I've been in decent shape, why can't I walk 13 miles??

Well apparently my feet didn't agree. I was in pain by mile 3, it was pretty bad by mile 6 and by mile 10 I was walking faster simply to MAKE IT STOP! My feet were super sore for several days and I hobbled around thinking that I was a stupid stupid person. I took a break for a good month after that experience.

Another trip to another running store and I was given some over the counter orthotics by Sole. These had a much greater arch support and could allegedly cure the ills of many feet. I did a couple of short runs with them and had no problems and thought all was well. I also bought a second pair of insoles to put in my work shoes because I'm on my feet a lot during my 12 hour shifts and surely this would help. All in all, my feet felt better and soon summer came and the temps became RIDICULOUS (seriously, this is the hottest summer Arkansas has ever recorded - it has been MISERABLE!) which means that I am not keen on doing lots of running or walking.

Right around the time I decide that I need to get back at it, I wake up and have horrible HEEL pain. What? Heel pain? My heel has never hurt?? Each step is misery and after a while, it loosens up a bit and gets better. I racked my brain thinking "What the hell did I do???" and hubby reminds me of the walk we took the prior evening with me in only my flip flops. Hmmm guess that was a bad idea? It takes me no time at all to think heel pain = plantar fasciitis. Some quick medical researching and I realize that the plantar fascia extends from the heel to the base of the toes and ends right near the ball of the foot - you know, the area where I previously had stabbing pain. It finally dawned on me that I had probably been dealing with plantar fasciitis since last October, it just hadn't originally presented in the typical fashion.

I'm no expert, but I've known people who've struggled with this and I know it is NOT a good thing. It's not good if you're trying to get back into running and it's definitely not good when you have a job that requires you to be on your feet for extended periods.

Another trip to a specialty shoe store and I score some MBTs for work. They are ridiculously expensive and not very pretty, but I now have cured the everyday excruciating pain. I can't not walk at work and my new job has me on the feet a LOT more than before. Now, if I can just get my mileage back up without hurting. Today I did almost 4 miles and was just a little sore at the end. Let's see how it goes.

Always look on the bright side of life

2010-09-14T12:43:00.005-05:00

It's been a rough few weeks and though I generally prefer to bitch and moan (seriously, it's my nature) - I decided to take a lesson from Life of Brian and look on the bright side.

While it's true that we've had two major Gremlin illnesses since he started daycare and have dealt with what appears to be a neverending fountain of snot, he has been adjusting really well. We have been very pleased with the facility and the caregivers and though he was throwing a nice fit every morning at drop-off, we were reassured that it didn't last long. The first two weeks, we just did half days and picked him up before naptime. We have now progressed to full days and he has been taking his naps and in general having a great time. This week, he even gave up the drop-off drama and happily waved and said "Bye Bye!"

So yes, the germs and sickness which are inevitable in a group care setting have been irritating. Even worse is that I am normally a very healthy person, but I have managed to catch both illnesses which seem to strike during my stretch of time off. Right now I'm practically high on cold meds but I'm going to focus on the positive .... yes, positive Jenn!!! Gremlin is doing well with daycare and because of that, I can now get a full days sleep after I work the night shift. This is the first time since pregnancy that I haven't been sleep deprived - yeah me!!

As for the job, it's been a bit of a stressful transition for me. I was happy in my world of little children, it's all I've ever known since finishing nursing school and I was in my comfort zone. Sure I worked with adults when I was in school, but when you don't do it all the time, you lose that comfort. Most of the assessment stuff is the same, listen to breath sounds, check for murmur, listen to bowel sounds, feel for a pulse. The vital sign numbers are different but that's not hard to relearn. The hardest part for me is the specific stuff you have to deal with after having a baby. (Warning!! anatomical nursing stuff ahead!!!!) You have to press on their belly and find a fundus which is the top of the uterus. You have to make sure it's firm and that it's where it's supposed to be. It is a very important part of the assessment and I have to admit, it can be hard to find it, especially on those women who have a lot of *extra* flesh in the abdominal area. That means you have to push down even harder while trying to find it and shockingly this is a tender spot after giving birth so some moms aren't too keen on you mashing down. I am already preparing myself for the inevitable plea to a fellow nurse to come check my patient because I can't find their damn fundus.

The other thing is you have to look ... down there. Let's be honest, no one goes to school with the hope of looking at vaginas all day, but if a baby comes out of there, it really has to be looked at. I don't really mind and it's not like it grosses me out or anything, it's just the reality that I sometimes don't know exactly what I'm seeing or if I'm even seeing it. Folks, there are lots of different types of bodies out there and I can assure you that no one's nether regions look like a textbook, especially after birth. Did I mention the hemorrhoids? I also have to check for those while I'm looking down there. Again, I don't remotely mind this part of my job, I honestly want to be sure I know what's going on so that I can start helping them heal with the appropriate medicine or therapy. It's just a whole new experience for me to deal with an adult, introduce myself and shortly thereafter look at the part of their body that they find quite private. I've never had to explain myself to a baby, I just do it. I'm still trying to find the script that works well for me to put a woman at ease during examination.

The other issue is that it's been busy at work - REALLY busy. My first week there the unit was full, we were short-staffed on nurses,and everyone was taking a very heavy load. Obviously, if everyone is taking a heavy assignment, it's not the best time to learn. I basically followed my preceptor around and asked occasional questions when I could. I have been in her position with too many patients and needing to train someone, so I was very sympathetic. It was just stressful because I felt like I was in the way and due to my lack of knowledge, I really couldn't help. On my fourth night, they were so short that I volunteered to work in the nursery. Babies are something I know and at least there I can be helpful with taking vital signs, drawing labs etc. It still wasn't a very great learning experience, but at least I was easing the load for the team. My second week was better and I now feel like I'm learning. I really want to be good at this job and I am my own worst critic, I need to remind myself that I have four more weeks to learn what I need to know.

On the bright side, I can already tell that I am really going to love the job. I have enjoyed the patients and the opportunity to work with happy families. I will also appreciate being able to teach on a regular basis as part of the job. For the most part, the staff I have met are very friendly and competent. I just need to get more comfortable in my role and cut myself some slack.

Ooooo, and the best bright side is that I now make more money!!! Wheeee!!! So nice to get a raise!!!!

Ch- Ch- Ch- Changes

2010-08-21T20:36:00.003-05:00

I've never been very stressed about changing jobs, likely because I've done it so many times since finishing college. I left my first *real* post college job, after 2 and 1/2 years to move to Denver. Then my I left my position in Denver after almost 3 years to attend nursing school. Since nursing school, I've bounced around a lot because it's easy to do that in a high-demand field and it suits my personality because I get bored and/or frustrated at jobs after a while. Truthfully, the idea of career mobility was one of the things that drew me to nursing - the myriad of directions you could take with one degree.

So it's not a shock that I'm changing things up yet again. After spending the last 6 years doing pediatric nursing (most of them Neonatal Intensive Care) it was time to see what else was out there. My current work situation was becoming a bit unstable with absentee management, a pending closure of our unit on the weekends, and some generalized uneasiness amongst the mostly excellent staff. When casually looking at jobs, I noticed a position in the Mom/Baby Unit at Big Popular Birthing Hospital. When I went back to work after Gremlin, I was told by recruiters that jobs rarely opened up in the women's services at Big Hospital because when they had occasional openings, they were filled from within. When I saw that opening, I knew I had to jump and apply.

I had a great interview, though to be honest I ALWAYS interview well. I'm very comfortable with the process and I think I do a good job at representing myself and my abilities. From the hiring manager's demeanor, I could tell that I had a very good shot though she did tell me that others were interviewing for the one available position. I think my interest in being a breastfeeding educator and my extensive NICU experience were the biggest selling points. Speaking of NICU, I had to spend the first 20 minutes convincing her I did not want to work in NICU anymore (that department also had an opening and she wanted to be sure I wasn't making a mistake). After telling her that I most certainly did not want to work in NICU anymore, we had a great time discussing the job.

I've had a major interest in maternity nursing ever since my experiences as a traveler in Colorado when I was floated several times to their post-partum unit. It's such an awesomely, unique place to practice nursing. For one, it's generally a very joyous time in a family's life as opposed to my years of working in very tense "sick baby" situations. It also provides a lot of opportunity for education which is my favorite part of being a nurse. Whether it's teaching how to change a diaper or swaddle or breastfeed, a great deal of supportive education happens in that brief hospital stay after a baby is born. I had Gremlin at Big Hospital and even though I was a professional baby wrangler, I was so thankful for the breastfeeding support and education.

My new job will involve taking care of pairs or "couplets" of mommas and babies. It will truly be acting as a nurse for the whole family. I am incredibly excited by it though a little nervous about dealing with adults again. I have had occasional teenage patients in the past year and a half, but I haven't routinely worked with adults since my student gig as an extern in the Trauma/Burn ICU. I'm sure it will all come back to me with a bit of practice.

This job is also a full-time position so I will be back to working three 12-hour shifts a week. I really was liking my part-time gig, but decided that I wanted this opportunity even more. As a result, Gremlin will now be going to "school" starting next week. In the end, I think it's going to be a great move. I'm excited about a new phase of my career, I'll be able to get quality, uninterrupted sleep while Gremlin is at school, and hopefully I'll regain the joy I used to have in my work.

What's my cookie?

2010-07-10T01:31:00.003-05:00

You know how some people need the promise of a reward - like a cookie - to do something that they don't *really* want to do? Well I need to find my cookie. I have always been highly motivated by sticker charts, little toy surprises and even cookies, but given that the goal is weight loss and fitness, perhaps cookies are not the best way to go.

I do plan on putting together a training chart and then getting some pretty colored stars or stickers to affix to it every time I complete that workout. Yes, it's juvenile but it makes me happy. I also, however, need a prize. Sure the ultimate prize will be a skinner, rock hard body, BUT I need something a bit more tangible.

At this moment, my intermediate goal is to get under 150lbs. That will represent an approximately 15lb loss from where I've been the last year or so and get me closer to the realm of my 140-143lb pre-Gremlin weight. Once I get below the 150lb mark I will reward myself with a spa day! I love me some spa treatments but I haven't allowed myself the indulgence since long before Gremlin came. I think this will be a great motivator and a great prize. I'm hoping to be there by the end of July.

As for longer term goals, I want to be at my pre-Gremlin weight by my birthday which is in early September. I would love nothing more than to get some new skinnier clothes and a birthday is just the time for sure things.

In regards to fitness, I am going to train for an October sprint triathlon. I had *really* wanted to get back into multisport this season but apathy and lack of motivation got in the way. When I saw that there was a race about 90 minutes away and 13 weeks down the road, I knew I had to commit. I'm working on my training plan now and will start it next week. It's going to be more of a challenge to get all my workout in with the Gremlin but I'm thinking that I've got my bike trainer and the jogging stroller so that just leaves the swims. I know I can do it .... don't you agree??

Today is the day!

2010-07-05T12:34:00.002-05:00

I think that today is the day where I will finally have achieved full and complete attitude adjustment over my life and man is it LONG TIME in coming!

I have been so tired with this "victim" mentality that has taken residence in me since the birth of Gremlin. Sure, it's been tough having craptastic sleep the first 18 months of his life, yeah it's hard to work night-shift at the hospital and then be conscious for part of the next day, of course it sucks that I wasn't one of those women genetically blessed with the freakish ability to have my pregnancy weight disappear, but seriously - it's time to GET OVER IT!

I refuse to allow my life to be out of control anymore, I am taking ownership of it ... of ALL of it!

Step 1 has involved dealing with the reality that I can't eat whatever the hell I want and expect to get back to my pre-Gremlin weight. I found that I wasn't good about following any specific "diet" so I decided to pay attention to calorie counts of what I was eating, to focus on more frequent small meals and snacks and to stop eating for emotional reasons. Yes, I'm one of those that gets stressed and turns to high fat crap instead of cigarettes, booze or crack. I decided to eat for hunger only and not for stress, sadness, anger or boredom. I like to think of it as simply being mindful of what I eat, when I eat and why I eat.

So far, I've lost 6 pounds in just over a month. I haven't felt like I'm starving or depriving myself and I constantly encourage myself when I make good decisions. Yeah Jenn! You go girl!

Step 2 is the inevitable need to workout. It's not about weight, it's about being strong and in shape. Even if I lose weight, I want to have less jiggle and more muscle. I want to *be* the MILF. Hell, I'd like to be in even better shape that I was pre-Gremlin. It's doable - I know it is. This part requires a bit more determination because A: I have a toddler to take care of and he has to either be a part of the workout, napping or be watched by his father and B: it's really, freaking hot this summer and I don't like to run or bike outdoors in triple digit heat index. I know that if I really want it, I'll make it work.

To start, I've gotten some fitness DVDs and I'm gonna just get started. We'll see if I can add some outdoor workouts or swimming into the mix real soon.

Step 3 is a general need to be productive in my life. I have found it all too easy to stay in my pajamas all morning and let the day fly away without accomplishing a lot. This isn't good for me and it certainly isn't good for Gremlin. I have been making a concerted effort the past few weeks to be proactive in my housekeeping chores (it makes me so much happier to live in a cleaner, tidier space) and to look for enriching activities for me and Gremlin. Whether it's story time at the library, fingerpainting at home, afternoon trip to the neighborhood pool or simply walking through Home Depot, we're just trying to do more with our day.

I'm finding that as I focus on eating better, the other things (like cleaning house, doing laundry, maintaining a budget) also just fall into place. I'm feeling more in control of my life and it's all getting better because of it.

Today I committed to the working out part of my transformation and I did workout 1 in the Jillian Michael' s 30 day shred. I feel like it's coming together ... yes sir! Today IS the day!

Maybe this isn't a good idea?

2010-03-06T04:21:00.003-06:00

I'm out of shape, still overweight, and in general feel exhausted and crappy.

So what am I doing this weekend?

Walking the Little Rock Half-Marathon! Isn't that a SWELL idea? The farthest I've gone in the past two months is just around 4 miles, and it made my feet hurt. I'm sure 13 will be no problem ... right??

Yes, this is probably not the smartest thing I've ever done. I know that I can do it, I'm a tough cookie - but it's going to hurt. I'm guessing that I'll start regretting it somewhere between miles 6 and 8, and wishing for death by mile 11. I know that I can walk that far, it's more that my joints, bones and muscles aren't going to be willing to accept that.

My overall hope is that I enjoy myself and remember how much I love to race and how much I love being a part of endurance sport. I know it'll bother me to just be walking, and to be really freakin' slow, so I'm hoping the experience encourages me to get back into serious training. I really want to run again and to shoot for those personal bests and to compete in multisport. Most importantly, I want to feel good about myself and hopefully get back a body that somewhat resembles the one I had two years ago.

I'm guessing that it's not the *best* idea I've had, but it's probably the best thing I could do to kick myself in the ass.

Stay tuned for a report ...

Health Care Rant

2010-02-19T14:42:00.002-06:00

This year did not start off in the best manner despite my being so excited about a new diet plan, workout goals and determination to live to the fullest despite chronic sleep deprivation. The working out was derailed when I pass out and fell at work early on the morning of 1/2/10. I apparently had a syncopal episode (I just remember not feeling too hot then waking up confused on the cold floor) and fell on the bathroom floor splitting my forehead open and injuring my ribs. I was at work - you know in a hospital - and I wasn't able to stand and my coworker said I looked white as a ghost and she couldn't get my heart rate to come back up. Before I really knew what was happening, I was in our ER getting a liter of fluids put in via an IV which blew my mind because they never manage to put IVs into any of the patients admitted to my unit ... but I digress. My care in our ER was not the best and I should mention that it was early in the morning, pretty close to shift change and they only had one other patient so it wasn't like they were slammed. They did an EKG, drew some blood, put in the aforementioned normal saline and after I had been in the room well over an hour, I asked if someone would wipe the blood off my face and maybe put a bandage over my gaping wound (which the resident physician didn't even touch when he "assessed me." The next thing I knew I was told that I had to go to an adult hospital since they only do children. Unfortunately this was now Saturday so my doctor's office wasn't open. My husband had arrived by this point but they REFUSED to let him drive me to another hospital that is less than 5 miles away. They said I needed to take an ambulance because, "we can't rule out a cardiac issue." I started to argue the point the best that I could in my weakened state, but the resident returned and said, "sorry you have to go by ambulance." I should have just told them to screw off and gone AMA (against medical advice) but one of my co-workers pointed out that insurance can then refuse to pay any of the claim. DAMN!

So I went in an ambulance to another ER and I should mention that my own hospital gave the paramedics hardly any report on my condition or let them know that labs were pending. I had asked the dayshift nurse if my electrolytes were back and got a breezy, "oh I haven't checked that" prior to my leaving. Once we got to ER #2 (after my hospital told me I couldn't go to my first choice of hospitals because "employee health says you need to go to hospital A or B"), the paramedic proceeded to give the new ER a report on my condition that was shockingly incomplete. I filled in all the pieces and the paramedic specifically said, "wow! Good thing you were paying attention, they didn't tell me ANY of that!" Wow, good to know that they give a good report during transfer of care. ER #2 did a repeat EKG, were going to draw labs when I reminded them that my hospital had already done that but failed to give me results. Saved myself who knows how much because they simply called my hospital and got the labs faxed to them (which should have been sent with the paramedic in the first place). After a very long wait because ER #2 was hopping, I saw the doctor for all of 5 minutes. He did a quick assessment and said the nurse would glue my laceration shut. They also insisted on getting a pregnancy test despite my COMPLETE ASSURANCE that I wasn't pregnant. I was on my period, I'm on the pill, I have a one year old at home, I am NOT PREGNANT. The ridiculous thing is that they weren't doing any x-rays or treatment that would have required a pregnancy status anyway.

Shortly thereafter, ER#2 nurse comes in and glues my head shut - now the nurse did this, not the doctor which is important for later. And then I had to wait, and wait, and wait. Turns out since it was at work and possible workman's comp, I had to wait for a third party to arrive to do drug and alcohol testing. This was finally done, and I was looking to get discharged because it's close to noon, I had worked all night the night before, I'm in a psych patient room with no TV or even handles on the doors, and I just want to get home. At this point all I needed was my discharge instructions but my nurse was busy with a trauma. I flagged someone down, had already pulled out my IV (and had to leave everything on the counter, because psych rooms also don't have trash cans), and managed to get the charge nurse. I told her I'm a nurse, I'm tired, I've been treated, can I please go home? She quickly gave me my paperwork and let me go.

So now the bills are starting to come in ... and man are they ridiculous! I'm lucky that I've never had to use an ER in my life. I've had a broken bone or two in my life, some ankle sprains, a couple of lacerations needing stitches, but I always received care at a doctor's office. Even waiting an extra day with my broken wrist because it was a holiday and I waited til my doc's office opened. Had I not been at work, on a weekend, there's no way I would have gone to the ER, and in NO WAY would I have used a stupid ambulance. Honestly, had I not felt so weak and miserable I would have gotten more bitchy and demanding. I had told my husband that I would NOT get a cat scan since I was not symptomatic and seriously they are REALLY expensive.

So here's how my bills currently stand:

My hospital ER visit = $1045
-This includes one IV placed, a liter of fluids, the tubing for the IV, an EKG, a lab analysis of my blood chemistries

Ambulance = $664
- This included a 4 mile ride and me having to give a report to the paramedic on my care at the ER since they didn't bother to tell him anything. Also, he was the first person to actually assess my laceration and tell me about it since I hadn't seen a mirror yet.

ER #2 = $1078
-This included an EKG, generic supplies, "laboratory" which I still haven't figured out what that includes and the care of the nursing staff.

ER #2PHYSICIAN = $794
-This is for the 5 minutes he spent with me and the interpretation of the EKG. Dude, he wasn't even the one who glued my head shut! That's ridiculous!!

EKG interpretation from my hospital = $29
Pregnancy Test = $18

Total Bills = $3628

All this for one forehead laceration, a liter of IV fluids, and one blood draw. WOW! That's steep!!

Interestingly enough, my employer required that I go to my doctor and have a note that it's OK to return to work. I actually wanted to see my own doctor anyway since he's actually ... well a good doctor. That visit included a consultation and x-rays of my ribs which were in excruciating pain by the day following the injury. For that visit and 2 x-ray?? I was charged a whopping $185

If people want to look at how broken the health care system is, they don't have to go far. Clearly there is a problem with healthcare costs. Why could one ER do so much many more procedures but charge me so much less - especially when you factor in the cost of the physician? Why could my own doctor do two x-rays and treat me and charge only a small fraction?

The kicker is that I do not quality for an employee discount at my hospital because you only get it if you are on THEIR insurance! We have decided to keep the whole family on Bryan's insurance so I lose a 20% discount because of that. Also, I've been totally jacked around by the workman's comp process. They conveniently lost my forms but never bothered to tell me. I'm almost positive they won't cover it but was encouraged to go through the process by our nursing supervisor. Makes me wonder how two of my co-workers had their injuries covered AND time off covered when they slipped on the ice and fell in the parking lots last winter.

Ok, I know that no one really cares about my rants, but I needed to express it somewhere. I just hate getting screwed, especially by my own employer and for truly substandard care in my own ER. Did I mention that my IV beeped for well over 5 minutes and I finally had to get up and stagger over to silence it myself because I didn't have a call light, and apparently no one could hear the blaring noise.

Oh well, on the bright side, we will be making our $2400 family deductible early in the year so I guess this is the year to have lots of random medical visits. Hopefully I can start to focus on the positive soon, because this whole process and dealing with billing agencies and workman's comp really has sucked the life out of me.

Ice Pick? Anyone?

2009-12-11T04:01:00.003-06:00

Grab an ice pick and please shove it through my brain!
No seriously - right through the skull and swish is around a bit.

This is quite possibly the longest, most horrid night I've had at work ... ever. Not only is the unit completely devoid of patients, but I have been here for the last NINE hours alone. Sitting at the desk watching the hours pass by.

I've been bored at work before, but usually I have at least one co-worker to help pass the time. Tonight, one staff was sent to another unit, and the third was left at home on call. You would think that it's pretty easy to sit around and collect a salary for doing absolutely nothing, but really it's torture. It would be miserable enough doing it all day long, but how about sitting in a large open space by yourself, OVERNIGHT with my traditional lack of pre-work sleep.

Yeah, it blows.

You know what else blows? My attempts at running, exercising, dieting and being productive. The past two weeks I haven't even pretended that I'm following a training plan, I'm just trying to make it through the day and accomplish a few things around the house. This weekend my parents are in town so for once we have Gremlin sitters (which is ALWAYS an awesome thing). It also means that I can't miss Saturday morning training group with the excuse that is far too cold to have Gremlin out with me for a long work-out. So I'll bundle my butt up and meet the marathon training group for my 7 miles. I honestly have no plans for running at all, I'm just gonna plan on walking and maybe throwing in a fartlek here or there if I feel like it. BJ has 14 miles on his schedule and I said, "we'll probably finish about the same time!" He thought I was joking.

Luckily, there is still three months left til the race which is actually quite a long time. Most training plans I followed in the past were only 12 weeks long anyway. Of course if I don't actually start - you know - training, there really is no hope for me to complete the distance in a time short of embarrassing.

On the fat Gremlin weight front, I can honestly say that I haven't been dieting BUT I also haven't gained back any of the 6 pounds I lost already. I keep telling myself that clearly the diet works and I just need to stick to it and get rid of those pesky remaining pounds. It's easier said than done, but I am in serious contemplation. I know BJ would like for me to become hottie wife again, though he is sweet enough not to say it outright. Except for the occasional Pillsbury Dough Boy references where he pokes my muffin top and makes the "Hee Hee!" noise from the commercial.

Yes, I love him and let him get away with it.

So that sums up my latest blog dry spell.
And speaking of dry, I've had two bottles of water and have been peeing quite regularly tonight, but I still feel like I've rubbed sand all over my mouth and lips. I love winter temps but not lack of winter humidity.

G is for GOALS!

2009-11-10T01:08:00.002-06:00

I have really slacked at setting goals for myself and as I've learned in the past, I really don't get anywhere if I don't push myself.

Case in point, my weight loss. I did pretty well those first three weeks on Weight Watchers and lost 5 pounds, then I stopped recording my intake, stopped calculating points and just kept with the status quo. Now on the positive side, I haven't gained any of those pounds back, but I'm still well away from my goal and my pre-pregnancy weight. Therefore ...

GOAL #1 - starting today, I will record ALL food that I eat and calculate my Weight Watchers Points! I will endeavor to stay within my points range the rest of the week.

I've also been slacking on the running. I did do a 10K last weekend and that's all good and well, but I do need to actually run on non-race days. I have decided to do the Little Rock HALF marathon as opposed to the full because it is a much more realistic goal with weekly mileage that is very achievable with the Gremlin. The half training plan also has lower mileage during the week which is likely to keep me out of the doctor's office with injuries.

GOAL #2 - I will do all mileage listed for this week on my training plan!!

I didn't run yesterday, but I did feel the great urge to go for a hike so I strapped the Gremlin to my back and hit the Pinnacle Mountain Trail. I refused to give myself grief for not running because for once I felt the pure joy of being outdoors and sweating on the trail. I think I need to do things like this more often and not be so limited by running in my neighborhood. Given how steep the trail is, I'm pretty sure I can count it as a good cross-training workout.

I think I need to be more diligent in taking on tasks in the house and cleaning and organizing areas that have gone long untouched. I really think that being apathetic about the inch of dust on my bedroom dresser does effect my overall outlook on life. I find it so hard to get things done when I'm chasing Gremlin all day, but I think if I broke it up into small manageable tasks, I could feel good about making small strides.

Goal #3 - Do one small thing around the house every day.

Let's see if I can turn Apathetic Jenn around. It may take some coaxing or downright brow-beating ... but it can be done!

Miss Independent???

2009-11-07T17:12:00.002-06:00

Today made me realize just how utterly, pitifully and pathetically dependent I have become. The old Jenn would have scoffed at this vision of myself - moping around the quiet house and not even cheered by the Tivo full of long neglected mindless entertainment. Shoot, a few years ago my description of a perfect weekend day would be me in my jammies, watching hours of tv - ooooh maybe some Buffy or Alias??? - surrounded by my fur family and lots of coffee and Diet Coke. Today, however, I was just missing my boys.

I had to work last night and today's Razorback game had an early kickoff so Bryan and Gremlin left yesterday afternoon for an overnight at the in-laws. I should have been excited that I couldn't change my shift because it meant I got to miss another football game! (sorry but I really can't pretend that I like football - I love you to much to deceive) Instead I was just sad that I had to head to work without hugs or baby kisses, and then come home to an empty home. Even the dogs were low-key, they clearly didn't like it either.

I did my best to sleep as long as possible, with both Tosca and Oakley snuggled in close. Then I caught up on three weeks of Grey's Anatomy and had some tasty Taco Bell. Now I'm readying for a relaxing bath without worries of a little Gremlin walking in and trying to climb in while demanding to join me and I'm still essentially in my jammies. It should be a nice escape, but instead I'm just wondering how long it will take Bryan to get home.

Yes, it's pitiful.
I'm one of *those* chics who really digs her husband and her child.
Blech!
How did this happen??

Right now I have going through my head ...
"What happened to Miss Independent? No longer need to be defensive.
Goodbye, old you, when love is true."

Screw you Kelly Clarkson! :)

Tales from the Back of the Pack

2009-11-04T06:55:00.008-06:00

I am officially a bad blogger! I'm like that person who gets a Christmas gift and doesn't send a thank you card til next Thanksgiving. Of course Miss Manners says better late than never - so here goes.

Last time we met, I was in training for the Bass Pro half-marathon and excited that I had completed a 10 mile training "run." (I seriously feel dirty when I try to classify what I'm doing as running). I was all on track to have an SR (slowest race) as opposed to a PR by a good 20 minutes and I was working on being ok with that. Then we started to have Gremlin troubles during my taper period. Our friendly little dude had suddenly turned into Mr. Separation Anxiety and tended to cry - a lot - when left without his parents. My trip with him to Illinois to visit my family a week and a half before the race sealed my fate. The little dude flipped out any time I left the room, even with Grammy K who is the family member that has babysat for him the most. I realized that it would be cruel and unusual punishment to leave him and his screaming self with my own Grandma in Missouri so that hubby and I could race. Despite her age of 87, she is most capable and would have been happy to help out, but I would have had a hard time concentrating on my race. So the decision was made that I would bow out and instead be mobile course support for Bryan on his quest to complete his first marathon.

To say I was bummed is an understatement. I'm pretty sure the phrase, "stupid baby" was uttered on more than one occasion. I was worried that some might perceive it as an excuse to not race or that I was being weak, but you can ask Bryan - it was a real disappointment. This whole putting your kids before yourself is new to me and there are times when it really blows.

Anyway, I decided that we would make the best of it. I enjoy crewing for races and thought it would be fun to drive all over Springfield, MO trying to catch Bryan along the course. We checked the race map (which was absolutely horrendous) and tried to plan a strategy. I was going to carry extra gels and pretzels for him so that he wouldn't have to be so loaded down with gear from the start. I had the good digital SLR so I also wanted to grab some pics along the way. As a bonus, some other Hot Legs were going to be running the half, so I hoped to cheer for them as well.

The week of the race, I was looking over the race website and suddenly realized Hey!!! They are having a 5/10K race on Saturday!!!
Maybe I can do that instead??
The site indicated that race changes would not be a problem and to handle it at the Expo.
Woo Hoo!! I can still race!!! Sure, it's not what I trained for, but I haven't done a 10K in 2 years so this could be fun!!

On Friday, we arrived at the Bass Pro Headquarters in Springfield, MO. Let me just say that if you are remotely into hunting or the outdoors, you MUST visit this store if you are ever in the area. It is the flagship store and it is HUGE!! They currently are undergoing some renovations, but it is still impressive. The Gremlin loved their giant fish tank, and terrarium with turtles. I loved their huge selection of outdoor clothing from Columbia, North Face and the likes, and both me and the hubby enjoyed the camping, guns and assorted crap that we really don't need. Like the giant overstuffed camouflage massaging recliners ... wouldn't they go with any decor?

Bryan got his packet and I went to registration to grab my packet and explain my dilemma.

Yes, I'm registered for the half-marathon. Can I change to the 10K?
No, I don't want to pay $35 to register for the 10K, I just want to transfer my registration from the half-marathon to the 10k.

There was definite confusion on how to accomplish it, but everyone from the store was very friendly in trying to help me out. I was sent to Customer Service to get a "refund" of my half registration fees. They asked, "do you have a receipt??"
Umm, no but I have this race packet with race bib and tshirt.
I kept explaining that I didn't want a refund of my race fees (which were $50), I just wanted to get into the 10K race and not pay again.
They apologized, "well all we can do is give you a Bass Pro store credit for the $15" (the difference in what I had paid and the current 10K price).
Ummm, sure?
I honestly wasn't expecting any money back, that's unheard of in the racing world. I just wanted to race and not pay a second time. Thanks Bass Pro!!

So off I went to return my cool technical half-marathon shirt, and exchange it for the generic technical shirt they gave out for the 5/10K. Nice New Balance shirts but ridiculously oversized. Luckily I was able to snag a small.

New race bib in hand and I was ready!! Saturday morning was beautiful fall weather with temps around 42 degrees at the start which is prefect running weather in my book. I had originally planned on racing in the awesome running dress that Bryan gave me for my birthday, but it will have to wait. It's not worthy of showcasing in a 10K in my opinion. Instead I went with shorts, my Hot Legs short sleeved shirt, Pearl Izumi arm warmers and cute Skirt Sports vest. The race started in front of the store and there were several hundred participants. I really didn't have a specific strategy other than to do some combo of a 3:2, either run 3 minutes/walk 2 minutes, or walk 3 minutes/run 2 minutes depending on how I felt.

As usual I started out really fast, it's hard to not get caught up in the crowd. After the mile mark, the 5K split off and it was obvious that the vast majority of the participants were going that distance. Very suddenly I was completely on my own which is a common phenomenon when you are a back of the pack kind of gal. I did NOT wear headphones or carry an iPod on since I am opposed to racing with them. It's a safety issue (especially since parts of the course had traffic sneaking onto the roads) and I think you miss out on the race experience. I decided to just enjoy the run and the people I encountered along the way.

Not too long after the split, a runner came up behind and passed me. As he passed he patted me on the shoulder and said, "looking good! Have fun!" Hmmm who was that slightly older runner in camouflage?? Oh, it's Frank Shorter, 1972 Olympic marathon gold medalist and featured speaker at the weekend's events. Thanks Frank!!

For the rest of the race, I was on my own except for the consistent leap-frogging with two gals ahead of me and one older woman behind me. On my run portions I would pass the two girls, then they would pass me once I started walking. The woman behind me was doing a walk/run as well and she would do the same to me during her run portions. Everyone was very friendly and we laughed about how consistent all of our pacing was.

The course left the road just before 2 miles and headed onto the Galloway Trail. I had assumed that the trail would be a nice surface like asphalt but it was concrete - YUCK! Basically the same as running on sidewalks which is not good for my legs. The trail portion was also an out and back so when you're the back of the pack, it gives you a chance to see ALL of the fast people in front of you! The winner (who is from Central AR and seen at our local events) was heading off the trail and to the finish just as I entered it. Of course, once you hit the turnaround, it also lets you see just how few people are still behind you.

Most of the race was uneventful. I switched up between running 3 minutes or 2 minutes based on my heartrate and how I left. In general,I was going faster than my normal 15 minute training pace which felt good!! I had originally planned a 1:30 finish, but knew that I could definitely beat that which made me feel great.

Around mile 4, my feet started to kill me! The same thing had happened at about mile 7 in my 10 mile training run, the balls of my feet just felt almost broken. It wasn't excruciating, but definitely uncomfortable. My shoes were pretty new, so I chalk it up to not enough time on the road in recent months, and likely the extra concrete on this particular course.

The last two miles were off the trail and through a neighborhood, parts of it with gentle uphills. I really didn't think much of it, but Bryan said they looked like mountains when he was 25 miles into his marathon and running the same course at the finish :) My heart rate was starting to get pretty high towards the end, but I was really wanting to push as much as possible. I did a 2 minute run, 2 minute walk the last mile and a half, and tried to walk as fast as possible while avoiding the dreaded side stitch. The best part was that before mile 5, I left my leap-froggers behind and then passed 3 more people before the finish!! It wasn't much of a kick, but it was something!! The race finished inside the store which was an interesting thing to do. I felt really good and though it was a slow 10k, 1 hour 19 minutes , it was much faster than I expected. Yeah me!!

The best part was having my husband and adorable Gremlin right there at the end cheering for me!! As I walked to the refreshment area which was awesomely stocked with muffins, scones, fresh fruit, ice cream bars, fountain soda, coffee and tea, I saw the three folks I had paced with for much of the race come towards the finish. I had gained a couple of minutes on them which was quite surprising.

My feet felt better later that day, so I think I just need to be more consistent in running often during the week. When the official results came out, I was definitely back of the pack, but it was still an accomplishment. I'm getting faster even if it is in a painfully slow fashion, and despite my initial disappointment in cancelling my half, I did get to race and to enjoy the fun of the Bass Pro Outdoor Fitness Festival.

Overall Time = 1:19:08
Pace = 12:46
Age Group Place (Female 35-39)= 11/12
Overall Place = 148/164

Next up, the Little Rock Half-Marathon 3/7/10. I was originally thinking of the full, but I would rather focus on getting back up to speed in the half distance. I'm not expecting to PR, but I'd love to do a 2:45. Can I do it? Never say never!

***************
Find out about the three weekend Bass Pro Outdoor Fitness Festival here

October! Where have you gone??

2009-10-25T01:12:00.002-05:00

Has it really been a month since I posted??
This goes to show that when I am without a laptop and sleep deprived a lot of things go by the wayside.

On the laptop front, my iBook died - or so I thought. With a some help from a work colleague, it was disassembled and the culprit found! A crispy part responsible for charging was ordered and replaced, so I'm now back to mobile computing! I never realized how much I relied on it until it was dead. It's so hard to use the PC in our office for long periods of time because the office is not a Gremlin-friendly zone. It's best for me to sit in the living or dining room in full view of Gremlin and his myriad of activities.

As for sleep deprived, that really isn't anything new. I've been sleep deprived for over a year now so there's no point in bitching about it. I'll just say that my son (to quote my husband) has the sleep needs of an 85 year old woman. Basically he sleeps very little and is up FAAAR too early!

I have had some great personal developments since my last post. I decided to start Weight Watchers again and take it SERIOUSLY this time. I went with the online version because apparently the state of Arkansas was not participating in the do two months get one month free special they were offering for meetings. Ridiculous because if ever there was a state that could use some free Weight Watchers, it most definitely is Arkansas. Luckily, I found a good deal on the online version and I decided that I would get out of it what I put into it. For me, the biggest problem is in recording my food intake. For Weight Watchers (or any diet) to work, it does require a knowledge of what one crams into their gullet. I purchased a handy dandy pocket notebook and committed to "If I bite it, I gotta write it!" When I make it to a computer, I then put it in my points tracker and calculate my points intake. There is also a mobile site that works with my Blackberry, but I find it's less aggravating to just put it in my notebook and use a real computer as soon as possible.

Apparently, it's worked, because so far I've lost FIVE pounds!!!
Woo Hoo!! Yeah Me!!!
(Pause for Applause)

I've certainly had my bad days and moments, but I now know that the system works. I'm still learning how to utilize my daily points allotment and trying to focus on healthier choices as opposed to blowing it all on a few donuts that leave me feeling hungry an hour later. I would LOVE to be at my goal weight by the end of the year, but barring that, definitely by my 2nd Anniversary in March.

In addition to weight loss efforts, I have been continuing to trudge along in my quest to be a runner once more. So far, my biggest obstacle has been Gremlin and I really need to find a way to mitigate that obstacle. Luckily he is happy to take a ride in the jogging stroller, but I just need the energy to do it. With recent sleep challenges, I have really felt worn down. I struggle with motivation to work out when I feel there's no gas in the tank. With the onset of true Fall weather, it really makes me WANT to go run. This is my favorite time of year and I love how crisp it feels outside. I simply need to overcome that urge to sit inside.

I recently did a 10 mile training walk/run which was the furthest I've gone in close to 2 years! My Mom was in town for the weekend which allowed me to go sans jogging stroller. It's so much easier to lose myself along the trail when I don't have to worry about a one year old getting bored, needing his sippie cup, or getting chilled by the wind. I'm still only averaging a 14-15 minute mile, but at least my endurance is coming back. I'm still following my half-marathon training plan for the Bass Pro Shops half-marathon November 1st, and also working on the Little Rock Marathon plan for March 2010. I'm still lacking on my weekday workouts, but have done enough long runs to know that I have it in me to be successful. It's just a matter of making a commitment and not allowing life, work and wee children to get in the way.

But hey, did I tell you that I lost FIVE pounds?!?!??!

She's armed and dangerous!!

2009-09-18T01:44:00.005-05:00

It's no secret that I'm a liberal. I have noticed that I'm becoming a bit more moderate with age, but I'm still definitely on the left side of the spectrum.
In regards to guns, I've always been a proponent of gun control. I firmly believe that it is a privilege, not a right to own a gun. Much the same as I believe it is a privilege to have a driver's license, donate blood or buy explosives. I even remember crafting my first persuasive speech in 8th grade english class in support of tougher gun control. Yes, I was liberal at a tender young age. I managed to make it to my mid-30s without so much as laying my finger on a real gun (not counting the BB gun my brother and I had as children) and I have never had the desire to own or wield a gun. Imagine my shock when I married a gun person.

Not just a gun person, but one fully license/authorized/whatever the terminology is, to carry a concealed gun! I don't get it, but it has something to do with living south of the Mason-Dixon line.

Early in our marriage, we took a road trip and he had the loaded gun in the car. It freaked me out the whole time and I kept thinking that somehow it was going to discharge and shoot me as I helplessly sat in the passenger seat. (Yes, my fear is that irrational.) In the house, one is kept loaded and easily accessible for home defense purposes ... or to shoot random yard zombies. I know where it's kept and I avoid it like the plague because just the sight of the holster makes me uncomfortable. It actually became a bit of a joke because I am known for my habit of eating any and all sweets in the house. Bryan had some candy sent to him by my Mom and he hid it. When I asked where, he said "somewhere I know you'll NEVER look." Turns out he hid it next to the gun, an excellent place because even my insatiable sweet tooth would never encourage me to look there.

Despite my fears, I am a rational person. I know that if a loaded gun is going to live in my house, it is foolish for me to be ignorant about its operation. We talked long ago about how I need to go to the shooting range and learn to shoot. Both of us agree that it would be best for me to learn from someone else and our friend Merc agreed. She seemed a logical choice as an ex-Marine who is quite comfortable pumping lead into targets of all sorts. Sidenote: I was really shocked the first time I met her. She was wearing cute high heels and looked ... well feminine. Truthfully I was picturing someone more masculine and more intimidating. (Apologies to all cute Marines or military women who read my blog)

Anyway, we finally made a date to shoot. Bryan thought it would be best for me to shoot the 9mm Glock - something about less force required to pull the trigger? Anyway, prior to meeting Merc, he sat me down at the kitchen table and showed me how to load and unload the magazine ... or is it cartridge? or clip? I don't know my gun terms.

He had Gremlin on his lap as we sat around the table with the bullets and the bullet holding thing (gun not present) and I protested,

"It's not safe! He shouldn't be around bullets!"

Bryan assured me that the bullets can't go off on their own.

"Are you sure???"

"Yes."

I still wasn't comfortable and I preferred to have the scary unloaded projectiles pointing away from me and Gremlin. Apparently in reality the biggest threat to Gremlin would have been for him to swallow the shiny bullets as apparently they can't spontaneously combust, even if dropped on the floor. Who knew?

After loading and unloading the bullet holder thing several times, he showed me what was putting in the gun bag: gun, ear plugs, shooting glasses, projectile bullets of death, and off we went.

We were originally going to shoot outdoors but the outdoor range was closed so we headed to an indoor one. Have I ever mentioned how I hate loud noises? And how it's ridiculous how easily I get startled?? Yeah, this was why they had originally thought I would do better outdoors.

We arrived at the gun place and Merc gave me a quick How to Shoot Guns 101 in the lobby. Luckily there are very few buttons on the particular gun I was shooting and you can only jam the bullet holder thing in one way. Apparently the whole process is quite simple - load gun, point gun at target, line up the little white dot with the white box thing, and pull the trigger. Confident in my ability to do all of these tasks we entered the shooting area.

First of all, even with the ear protection, I internally jumped every time someone shot their gun. It was loud and I could feel it.
I didn't like it.
I loaded my gun while Merc put the target in place for me. I went over all the directions in my head .... feet shoulder width apart, shoulders slightly forward, make a triangle with my arms, good grip with my shooting hand, wrap the other one around, raise the gun, sight my target. I went through these motions several times and finally squeezed back the trigger.

BAM!

I saw a flash and felt the discharge. I had absolutely no idea where my bullet had gone, but I had gotten off my first shot. Now I knew what it would feel like. I got myself steadied and did the whole thing again. This time I nearly jumped out of my skin when the bullet casing flew out and hit my shoulder (I wasn't expecting that!) It spooked me a little and I had to set the gun down and collect myself.

In the meantime, Merc said, "Did you see where those went??"

"No."

I assumed they had flown into the ceiling or into a sidewall.

She pushed the button to bring the target in and to my shock, two neat little bullet holes were nearly on top of each other in the center part of the target.

Wow! I actually hit the damn thing!

I shot three clips into the center of the target, one clip into the head for fun. (See how guns have already started to screw with my brain?!!???!) and the last one Merc had me shoot as quickly as I could while retaining some sense of accuracy. All in all, I did pretty well. All of my bullets hit the target, and most hit right where I was aiming. I found that I started to overly anticipate the discharge so I would close my eyes at the last second which I assume is not recommended when being attacked by zombies. Those were the ones that dropped and hit the target a few inches down from where I was aiming but were still in a pretty lethal position.

In the end, I have to say it was a bit fun but exhausting. I kept having internal freak outs which required me to step back and take a few breaths. It was a very similar feeling to when I rock climb, I can stay on task when focused on the wall, but I flip out when I realize how high up I've climbed.

I do have a much better comfort level with the gun and know that in an emergency I can put a bunch of lead in the bad guy's chest quite accurately from 20 feet. I do need to shoot some more, but it was a great start.

I went from being afraid to look at the gun and fearing that the bullets alone would leap off the table and kill me, to pumping 50 rounds into a helpless paper target.

To quote my friend Mary, "I think that living in Arkansas is getting to (me)."

Let's Run with Babies

2009-09-09T08:11:00.003-05:00

Wow! I'm bad about writing posts and then never posting them ..... this one is almost a full week old!! Bad Jenn!!

********************************************************************************
Ok, so I didn't make my goals last week, but I am still pleased with a few things.

First, I did my first 5K in almost two years! The only race I've done since having Gremlin was a 2 miler back in February. This past weekend, there was a local Grand Prix race that had a very reasonable registration fee of $15 so Bryan and I decided to participate. Not only was this my first 5K in a LONG time, but also my first race pushing the Gremlin. Of course, as most racers know - jogging strollers are pretty much universally banned. I understand this from a liability perspective, but as running parents, it sucks to always have to choose which one sits out the race. I would never push an illegal stroller in a very large or crowded event, but I knew this was a small race and that with my slow pace I wouldn't be in anyone's way. I also had planned to slow down and let folks go in front of me in the finish chute if necessary since a stroller can definitely get in the way there.

Anyway,for the race I went with a 3 minute walk, 2 minute jog combo and it worked pretty well! I found that the 2 minute period of jogging was definitely a challenge but not too strenuous. I'm sure I could have gone faster overall, but I was only looking to get in a good workout as opposed to "race." In the end, I finished in 40:31 which is slower than my first 5K over three years ago ... but it WAS a stroller PR!!

My other point of praise is my long run this weekend. I had 6 miles on the schedule which was a little daunting given that I haven't gone farther than 4 miles since Gremlin was a wee embryo. I decided to take it nice and slow and watch my heart rate. The whole family hit the River Trail since Bryan had 10 miles on his schedule. I had Gremlin packed in the BOB and off we went! It was a foggy morning but there were plenty of folks out there to keep us company and to keep the Gremlin amused. It was a great workout! I did a 3 minute walk, 1 minute jog and felt really good throughout. I did notice that my heartrate was climbing pretty high towards the end and not recovering as well on my walk breaks. This just proves that my cardio still has a long way to go. The Gremlin fussed just a little at the start but after handing him a bottle, he was golden (thank goodness we have the BOB console which has room for my water bottle and HIS bottle or cup!!).

Bryan finished his 10 miles not to long after us and then the whole family headed to Panera for coffee and bagels. I might have missed the mark on some goals, but I managed a race and my farthest run in a LONG time. Not too shabby!

Oh yeah, and that long run was on my birthday! How about that for making my training a priority :)

Weekly Goals

2009-08-31T07:52:00.000-05:00

My training week starts on Monday, so time to make those goals again!!

GOAL #1: DO all three runs on my training plan this week.
I have two 40 minute runs on the plan during the week. One at a 3 minute walk, 1 minute run ratio (3:1) and the second at a 3minute walk, 2 minute run ratio (3:2). I haven't done anything longer than a 1 minute run up to this point so it will be interesting. I should also mention that the weekday runs are exclusively Gremlin runs pushing the Bob jogging stroller. I like to think that this will make me even stronger for having the extra resistance!

My long workout is 6 miles at a 3:1 walk/run ratio. This is gonna be tough! So far my longest run was a 4 miler at a (4:1) so I'm not only going farther, but have less rest time on my walks. I'm trying not to psyche myself out - I know I can do it.

GOAL #2: Ride my bike TWICE.
Even though my butt is sore, I did enjoy getting out on the bike. This week I want to try to ride twice. I'll definitely do at least one outdoors, and for my second maybe I'll get my fluid trainer set up again?

GOAL #3: Do my bootcamp DVD once
I have a bootcamp DVD that I got a few weeks back that is specifically designed for post-partum fitness (with a baby almost 11 months old, can I still call myself "post-partum"???). The chic's voice on it is a little irritating - she's one of those very enthusiastic trainers- but it has a lot of the components of the boot camp that I flunked out of.

I'm not going to set a goal with this one, but I am planning on doing the Clear Mountain 5K this weekend. I haven't raced since March, mainly because we've been trying to conserve funds as it does get pricey doing lots of local races. This is a part of the Arkansas RRCA Grand Prix which Bryan and I both registered for earlier in the year and the race is only $15 each which is pretty cheap. I'll be slow because, well I'm pretty slow these days, but I'll also be pushing the Gremlin. Jogging strollers technically aren't allowed at any road races, but these smaller ones always have a few folks pushing and no one makes a stink about it as long as you line up at the back and don't get in anyone's way. I'm telling myself that despite how slow I'll be, it will still be a PR - a stroller PR :)

Snaps for the Family that trains together

2009-08-30T13:40:00.000-05:00

Woo Hoo!! I made my goals this week!

It was by the skin of my teeth, but I did it!! I left it all til the end of the week which isn't ideal for training, but Hey!! I did it!!! I walk/ran on Thursday and Friday, then today I did my 3 mile "long" run. (Which is almost embarrassing to say since 3 hardly qualifies as long in any sense of the word.)

Bryan and I both wanted to ride, so we tried the family workout. We've done it once before and it was quite successful. We take both bikes, the jogging stroller and Gremlin to the River Trail and then take turns - while one person rides, the other runs with the Gremlin. We meet back at the car at a predetermined time and switch. Today I did a 30 minute bike ride first, then pushed the Gremlin for my 3 miles. He was a little fussy when he and I first started, but it was nap time so he eventually gave it up and fell asleep. It was a beautiful, uncharacteristic August day for Arkansas, temps in the 70s, sunny and not too humid. I felt pretty good on my run, but I need to get my butt used to being on a bike again. I kept shifting my weight and getting out of the saddle while trying to find a comfy spot to put my butt bones. One would think that biking would be more comfy with the extra natural padding my pregnancy added .... ummm not so much. I also totally wimped out on the one hill I encountered and had to get off half-way up and push. I had the bike in the lowest gear and thought I could manage, but when I realized I was practically motionless, I decided to clip out before I fell over.

In any case, I'm glad that I made my goals for the week. I'm thankful for a nice brick workout and say the whole family deserves snaps for working out together!!!

Free Panties!!

2009-08-27T09:59:00.000-05:00

With a title like that, I'm sure to get some unsavory hits on my blog!

I truly have an issue with free panties and it drives my husband crazy. My problem is that I get these coupons in the mail from Victoria's Secret for a free panty and don't use them.

What?
You don't get these coupons?

Well if you want free panties, just get a Victoria's Secret credit card and I guarantee you'll get a coupon about every three months. It's basically a "come-hither! No purchase required but you KNOW you'll want all kinds of things once you start digging for free $6 underwear."

I've had at least four in the past year that have remained unused until they are finally thrown in the trash. My most recent one expired last Monday. I even had Bryan set an alarm on my Blackberry reminding me to go and get that damn panty, and still I failed.

I just can't bring myself to go to the Mall and subject myself to the experience of Victoria's Secret. First of all, I'm pretty sure that my free panty is going to be a size (or more) bigger than I used to wear. No one tells you that having a baby not only destroys your stomach, but you gain some pounds in the hips and butt too. Then there's the torture of looking at all the cute matching bra and panty sets, you know the kind that would look adorable under a nicely fitted pair of jeans with heels. All remnants of the way I might have dressed pre-Gremlin.

I keep telling myself, "once I lose weight" or "when I get back down to my old size," I'll get my free panties. I currently have a coupon that expires the first week of September AND I just got a $10 off any purchase coupon to use as well (that's an annual one that comes around your birthday). The reality is that I won't lose 20 pounds or a clothing size in the next week.

Do I give in? Should I just suck it up and admit to my current size??

Damn You Victoria's Secret!!!

Weekly Goals

2009-08-24T22:01:00.001-05:00

I can't measure my success (or lack thereof) for the week without setting some goals. In the past, I think I made too many goals, or maybe not too many, but too lofty?? In any case, since we're starting at nearly the beginning, I don't think there's anything wrong with keeping my expectations low.

Besides, if I make my goals I'll feel good about myself, and if I feel good about myself then I'll be likely to make even more goals. So if I keep my goals easy to start with, I'm more likely to be a happy Jenn. Sure it's slightly circuitous logic, but it's my logic and it works for me.

Hmmm, let's see. My half-marathon training plan calls for three runs a week. So far I've not made more than two....

GOAL #1: DO all three runs on my training plan this week.

I have a shiny red bike that Bryan took earlier this summer for a fancy tune-up. It cost a LOT to get all of the work done and I've only ridden it once. I also have a fluid trainer and my darling husband even bought a portable fan so that I could use the trainer and not get too hot (how sweet!).

GOAL #2: Ride my bike ONCE.
Indoors, outdoors, upside down - just ride it.

I'm not gonna make a Goal #3 because then we start getting into the realm of having too many goals and I really want to have one week where I can look back and say that I accomplished all that I planned to accomplish.

Achievement through setting the bar low, it's the new American way.

Snaps

2009-08-23T13:28:00.000-05:00

I've never hidden the fact that I was .... correction, am a sorority girl and am proud of it. Despite some of the over-the-top antics of Elle Woods and her Delta Nu sisters, I must admit that we did give "snaps" in my chapter. I like to think of it as the sorority form of applause. Not to mention, it's much easier on the hands than clapping incessantly.

In endeavoring to be more positive as opposed to the constant bitching and making excuses, I thought I would start to give myself snaps. I'm hoping that every week I can find at least one thing to congratulate myself for, even if I REALLY have to dig.

For this week, I'm going to give myself snaps for taking the Gremlin out in the jogging stroller on Wednesday. As usual, I had suboptimal sleep the night before, and it took several doses of caffeinated java goodness to feel alive. I knew I needed to get a workout in, but I kept putting it off all morning. FINALLY, after Gremlin woke from his morning nap, I made it out of the house and did the recommended 32 minute walk/run. Luckily there was a slight breeze and it was mostly cloudy so it wasn't too hot for the baby to be out (nearing noon in Arkansas in August is generally a steamy prospect). I felt so good when I finished and I was so proud of getting my arse off the couch.

Snaps for Jenn!!!

Time For a New Start!

2009-08-22T09:55:00.001-05:00

I know there are a few of you out there who followed my blog back when I was more active on posting. I appreciate you for sticking around through the dryspell and keeping me on your RSS readers or bookmarks.

I've been having a hard time figuring out what to do with this blog and determining what my point of view is these days. It seems that so much of my life is now filled with figuring out how to be a Mom and trying to balance the competing demands of family, work and sleep. I originally used this blog as a way to chronicle my journey from overweight, out-of-shape, bitcher and moaner to newbie triathlete. Along the way, I sprinkled bits of my personal life and observations of the world. The athletic endeavours were still important, but took a backseat to all of the massive changes that happened from the time I first left my comfortable life in Fall 2006 to become a travel nurse.

Recently, I realized that I'm having such a hard time finding my voice again, because I really don't know who Jenn is these days. I'm worlds apart from the person who started this blog and I think therein lies the problem.

Along the way, I've lost part of me.

I'm sure it's buried in there somewhere ... locked beneath hours of lost sleep, layers of pregnancy induced fat, and a generous helping of negativity.

When I was struggling for a name for the blog (obviously The Verbose and Curious Travels of Nurse Jenn are no longer relevant) I started looking to music. Suddenly a U2 song, "Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of," came to me that really seemed to sum up how I felt about myself. I don't think it's so much that I've truly lost myself, it's more that I'm just stuck in a rut. I keep putting off doing the things that will make me feel better like working out, losing some weight and getting out of the house when in the end, nothing is stopping me but myself. The more I thought about the lyrics, the more relevant they became.

So now, from this day forward, I will endeavour to reclaim the old Jenn! I'm pretty sure that I can be a wife and Mom while still being the sassy, spunky, in-shape, opinionated chic that I used to be.

"It's just a moment. This time will pass."

Name that blog!

2009-08-07T03:58:00.001-05:00

I'm still stuck on what to name my blog and in what direction to take it. My darling husband suggested something to the effect of "Operation Make Jenn No Longer a Fat Slob" or whatever similar wording I used a few posts ago.

Somehow that just doesn't have a nice ring to it.

I guess I could call it "Bitch and Moan" since that seems to be about all I do these days. Or better yet, "Lots of Worthless Excuses" since I seem to have a lot of those.

Hmmm, something to muse upon as I ponder my excessively flabby belly ....

HELP!!!!

2009-08-07T02:23:00.002-05:00

People I'm dying here! It's Thursday night and I haven't worked out once this week.

Seriously. What's wrong with me?????

Do I think my fat ass and flabby stomach is going to simply disappear if I close my eyes and wish for it real, real hard???

Freaking pitiful, that's all I've got to say.

I get off work at 7:15 a.m. and when I get home ... by god I'm going to go for a walk/run.
And then I'm going to sleep.
But then I'll wake up and do one of my boot camp DVD workouts.

So it was written, so let it be done.

Status Update

2009-08-01T02:55:00.002-05:00

Hmmm .... let's check in and see how Jenn has done the past two weeks.

I have to say that I'm actually pretty proud of myself! Now I haven't been perfect, but based on what I was doing before (i.e. nothing) I think I've made some real progress!

1. Boot Camp: I made boot camp twice the first week and twice this week. My goal was to go three times each week, but I had some sleep issues - more specifically NO sleep due to teething Gremlin. As much as I want to work out, when I've been up since midnight with a screaming baby, it's hard to be motivated to go work out at 5:30 a.m. I have a boot camp DVD now, so this week when I missed on Wednesday, I did 40 minutes of my DVD instead. I've really been enjoying the class and have definitely felt the soreness in my abs, legs and arms. Hopefully this next week I'll make all three days!

2. Half-Marathon training: So far I've only missed one scheduled day of training which is a miracle for me. Even when I was training hard-core in the past, I always missed a session here or there. I've been mainly training with the Gremlin in the jogging stroller out of necessity but I'm hoping that the extra work of pushing him will make me even stronger. This week I had rain two days and I even went out in the rain, thank goodness for the weather shield for my BOB! Gremlin really enjoys riding and it's definitely been good for my sanity to get out of the house and breathe the fresh air. I haven't started wearing my heart rate monitor yet because I know my HR is still going to be ridiculously high. Hopefully after a few weeks of routine cardio, I'll be better conditioned.

3. Nutrition: This has actually been one of the best areas for me. I have been very mindful about what I'm eating and avoiding the fried food and junk food that I have come to love over the past few months. I'm definitely making better choices, drinking more water, and watching my portions. I think that if I can keep this up while continuing to exercise, I'll be fitting back into my skinnier jeans soon. :)

It's definitely a work in progress but if I can keep it up, I'll be back into the habit of a healthy lifestyle. Woo Hoo for me!!

It starts TODAY!

2009-07-20T14:09:00.004-05:00

I am seriously fed up with myself ... fed up with my inactivity, my plump post-baby figure and hating myself every time I look in the mirror. Most of all, I'm fed up with my excuses and refusal to just go out and get it done.
I know what it takes - I've done it before.
I know that it's not easy, and that it will likely be harder with a wee demanding Gremlin, but the excuses have to stop. I just got back from a vacation to Florida and in the pictures I STILL look pregnant! I don't fit into any of my clothes (except my preggo ones) and I just feel sluggish all the time. It's unacceptable and I refuse to remain complacent.

So yes my friends, it starts TODAY!

I have a several pronged approach to Operation Make Jenn Not Look Like A Fat Slob

1. I started a "boot camp" workout group for the next four weeks. It meets four days a week at 6 a.m., but I can only do three days due to my work schedule. I went this morning and remembered how great it feels to sweat and feel my muscles burn!

2. I'm going to start a training program for the Bass Pro half-marathon this week. I'm going to be following a walk/run program and not stressing about the fact that I'm mainly walking at this point in time. Walking consistently is better than where I've been the past year.

3. I don't believe in dieting. I've tried the Weight Watchers thing and several other fad diets in the past, but I don't think it's sustainable. When I lost my weight the first time around all I did was eat MINDFULLY, thinking carefully about what and how much I was eating. I also made sure to eat breakfast and incorporate healthy snacks. This week marks the end of having the "oh what does it matter I'm fat anyway" french fries or jalapeno poppers or whatever else ridiculously fattening I really want to shove down my throat.

4. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I really need to change my attitude. I'm so far down in a slump that I'm having a hard time digging myself out. I need to just take it one day at a time and give myself credit for every small victory. Rome wasn't built in a day, and a hot, sexy Jenn won't re-emerge in a day either.

In looking at the blog, I need to make some changes. Obviously my masthead and title are completely irrelevant these days. My traveling days are over for a while, and as far as being a nurse, I do my two shifts a week to get the bills paid, but my focus is no longer at work. I need my focus to be on myself for a while. I've poured a lot of energy into my child and my marriage (and will continue to do so), but I think I've lost myself. I'm not pleased with where I am and I think that when I reclaim some of the old Jenn, I'll be a better wife and mother!!

Join me for the journey and feel free to haze me as necessary :)

THE DAMNING EVIDENCE

Yes, that's my maternity swimsuit from last year.

WOW! I actually look chunkier in these pics than I did last summer at almost 6 months pregnant! Definitely gained some thigh fat, and my stomach? Horrible!

Three months later .....

2009-03-14T04:40:00.005-05:00

OK, it's been over three months without a post so you are probably correct if you guessed that Jenn has not been kicking ass on the pavement. I could give you all kinds of excuses but I know that you don't want to read them, and quite frankly I'm tired of giving them. We'll just say that the transition to parenthood has been a challenging one, made even more so by my return to work in January. I've managed to prioritize everything above my own needs - I worry more about whether the baby is happy, the house is clean, the laundry done and my husband getting enough sleep. Somehow I never manage to get around to making sure that my needs are met whether that be getting a hair cut or getting a workout accomplished. I should give props to my husband who has been very encouraging and tried everything he can think of to get me motivated, but in the end the motivation can only come from one place. And in the end, I need to learn to include MYSELF in my priorities!

As far as fitness goes, we got a BOB Ironman stroller for Christmas and with the help of a Kiddopotamus insert, we can get the Gremlin securely and safely strapped in. I've taken him out several times in the neighborhood and he loves it! I've only tried jogging with it a few times so far, but now with the BOB, I don't have to wait for Bryan to get home for me to get a run in. I've also started forcing myself to take the stroller if I need to run to the post office which is only a mile and a half round trip. Same for if I get a craving for a Sonic Diet Cherry Vanilla Coke which is across the street from the post office. Even if it's not far, it's a start :)

I also signed up for the Arkansas Grand Prix which is a series of races sponsored by various Road Runners Clubs across the state. This is the first year that my club, the Hot Legs, have participated and Bryan also signed up with his group. I was able to participate in my first race two weeks ago, the Chase Race 2 Miler. It worked out great because we had someone to watch the Gremlin and it was so short that it wasn't too intimidating for me. I was ridiculously slow and ran it in 25:25, but it just felt good to be out stretching my legs on the pavement. My quads were SO SORE for the next three days, I haven't felt that kind of soreness since I first started running in 2006!! Here's a pic of me, my husband and my Mom who was the official Gremlin sitter so that both of us could race.

I have several races on the near horizon and I know that if I start getting a regular run in three times a week, it won't take long to recover my pace. I just started on my routine work schedule last week so I now know that I can make it to my running club's Wednesday night run. I just need to work in one more run with the jogging stroller during the week and a weekend long(er) one when Bryan can watch the Gremlin.

I haven't thought beyond running for the time being, but I do need to come up with a viable way to do some strength training. I've never been in as good of shape as when I used to routinely strength train twice a week ... a habit long since forgotten.

My other big issue is diet. UGH! I HATE to diet! The reality is that I still have 20 pounds of baby weight that's not going to dissolve magically while I sleep. I joined Weight Watchers last month and even have the fancy points tracker on my Blackberry, but I just haven't committed to it. I'm so bad at keeping track of what I eat which is really the whole basis. I need to at least try two weeks of taking it seriously and see what happens. I am trying to be more aware of what I eat - specifically how much I eat, but honestly I'm still in the mode of "who cares, I'm fat anyway" which doesn't do me a damn bit of good when it comes time to fit into any of my clothes.

I think I've hit rock bottom. I'm sick of how I look and even sicker about how I feel. I know that Bryan will be a partner in this endeavor and will help me do what it takes to be healthier. I know I can do it - I've done it before and when I started off over three years ago, I didn't even think I was capable of running half-marathons and doing triathlons. Now I KNOW that I am capable of this ... so what's stopping me???

Half Marathon Training Starts...

2008-12-08T19:52:00.003-06:00

Today marks the official start of my half-marathon training for the Little Rock Half Marathon on March 15, 2009. I'm following a 14 week training plan in the book Marathoning For Mortals by "The Penguin" John Bingham. He writes an excellent column in Runner's World and has a lot of great advice for those of us who aren't too speedy but aspire to going longer distances. I used his run/walk plan for my last half marathon - the Colorado Colfax in May 2007 - and improved my time over my prior half by about 13 minutes. This time around, I'm doing the walk/run plan which puts more emphasis on the walking. I don't have any delusions that I'll be able to do a lot of running at the beginning of my training so this is the better plan. I need something that is realistic and that I can stick to, but I do have in the back of my head that I can start to add in more running as the weeks go by if my body tells me that I can.

In any case, as always I need a goal to shoot for or I never seem to get myself going. When I have a plan to follow, it holds me accountable and gets me out the door. I always feel great after a run, but just taking those first steps can be rough for me. I actually didn't get to work out today because I have HORRIBLE blisters that are now scabbed over. (I was really stupid and wore low-rise socks) I'm hoping an extra day will make it bearable to put on real shoes because at that moment I'm living in my clogs. I think I'll print out my plan and put it on the 'fridge and mark it off as I go. Maybe give myself a sticker when I successfully complete a week???? Yeah, I am that pathetic and in need of motivation. It's amazing I ever completed as many races as I did!!!

Appearance Threshold

2008-12-06T12:22:00.003-06:00

Before anyone gives me grief about not making any "training" posts - I can assure you that I am making some progress. I mean it's piddly-ass pathetic progress, but progress nonetheless. I'm walking as much as possible, generally pushing the Gremlin in the stroller around the neighborhood at a brisk pace to get the heart rate up. I've also been doing some walk/run workouts when BJ is home to watch the Gremlin. Santa is going to be sending us a sweet jogging stroller so as soon as it's safe, I'll have more flexibility to workout with the Gremlin during the day.

Today, I want to talk about ... for lack of better description - your personal appearance threshold. What is your level of comfort with how you must appear before leaving the house. We all have our own personal rules for how we have to look and what we wear and it changes based on where we're going whether it's to work, out for the evening, a quick errand, trip to the grocery store etc. It's most likely not something we even think about, it's so ingrained.

For men, it's things like do you need to take a shower? Or shave? Or is it acceptable to just throw a hat on?

For women, it's far more complicated. Not only it is a question of showering, but in regards to shaving - can I just get away with shaving my pits? Do I have to shave my legs?
Am I washing my hair? If I wash my hair do I have to dry and style it or am I going to just throw it in a pony tail?
Do I need to put on makeup?

I remember back in my younger days I wouldn't even leave the house to run quickly to the store without my contacts in, and full makeup and hair. I was scared to death that someone I know would see my in my "raw" state. I was always fully cleaned and made up, the only variable was my clothing. Ripped jeans, Birkenstocks and a t-shirt were completely acceptable for trips to the store and quick errands for example.

As I've gotten older, my threshold has been greatly altered. I don't really care so much about what people think so I don't worry so much about how I look. There's also the change in my work environment from being a government 9 to 5'er who had a lot of contact with the public to a nurse working the night shift. My work uniform went from business casual to pajamas a.k.a. scrubs. In general, I still like to put my full makeup on when I go to work, but I generally choose to wear glasses (more protection for my eyes from ick) and for infection control purposes I no longer can wear nail polish and my hair has to be pulled back.

I started pondering all of these issues this morning when I had to run to the Post Office to pick up a box. I wasn't worried about being unshowered and having no makeup on, but I did feel the need to brush my hair (if my hair had looked nasty, a ballcap would have been employed) and brush my teeth. As for clothing, I was perfectly content to wear the tshirt that I had slept in, I didn't bother with a bra, but I did feel the need to take the jammie pants off and put on clean underwear and jeans. I went through this ritual without really thinking about it and I realized just how high - or is it low? - that my appearance threshold has become. Gone are the days where I shaved my legs daily and feared being caught without my makeup. Of course I don't think you'll ever find me nastily in need of a shower, and this morning if I had more errands to run and was going to be out a few hours, I would have definitely showered ... though unless I was going to the Mall or another non-grocery store, I wouldn't have bothered with makeup.

I know that there's this idea that once you get married and have kids you "let yourself go," but I don't think my preferences have anything to do with this. It's more that as I've gotten older, I've become more comfortable in my skin and I'm not so superficial. I'm pretty sure that gazing upon my clean, non-made up face is not akin to staring at Medusa - so I don't sweat those things as much. I will certainly admit that the busier I get and the more demands I have on my time, the less often you'll find me in full makeup and hair glamour, but by golly I'll always be showered, have my teeth brushed, clean underwear and have my armpits shaved - you can at least count on that!

So what's your appearance threshold? And has it changed as you've gotten older?

Job Hunting

2008-12-02T12:17:00.003-06:00

Since I am currently without job, the time has come to commence with the job searching. My plan is to start sometime in January which will have made me off work for 4 months! That's crazy! I've never been off for more than three weeks before this!!

The job hunt is usually something that causes great stress and trauma, but finding a job is pretty easy as a nurse and it's more a matter of finding the best fit for my needs. I've applied at two hospitals so far and have had one interview. My big thing is that I'm wanting part-time nights (defined by me as 24 hours or two 12 hour shifts) and I don't want to work straight weekends. If I was all about the money, I'd take a straight weekend position because you get a major monetary incentive for giving up every Saturday and Sunday night. A lot of Moms do this, but I don't think this is for me. My first complaint would be missing all of BJ's free time - weekends are our theoretical fun time (though with a newborn there hasn't been as much free spirited fun as of late!) Second problem is that all of the races I want to do are on weekends so I'd be constantly trying to get off for one thing or another.

As for type of job, I'm kindof feeling that it's time to try something different. I've done NICU since I've been a nurse (4 years) and I wonder what else is out there?? I'm kindof interested in doing labor and delivery or a post-partum/mom-baby unit job. I have some interest in adult critical care (I worked in a trauma/burn ICU in school), but I'm wanting to avoid jobs that have long term patietns. It's one of the things about maternity that appeals - you have the baby and then you go home. Is it wrong that I don't want to see the same patients over and over? Maybe, but it's the part of NICU that was starting to really grate on me, especially when you had "challenging" families.

Anyway, my one interview was for a part-time labor and delivery gig. The schedule would be perfect since it was no weekends at all unless I had an occasional call shift on a weekend night. My biggest concern is that they don't do a lot of business at nights so I think it'd be a lot of sitting around, and then maybe getting some inductions started late at like 5 a.m. I'm one of those people who likes a steady worknight and with a little Gremlin at home, there's no telling how low on sleep I'll be which makes having something to do all night long even more important.

Hopefully, I'll have some other interviews and options to choose from. I'd like to have a job confirmed in the next three weeks.

People ARE good!

2008-12-01T09:21:00.004-06:00

Now that *in theory* I am working out and training, I can now post to my non-baby related blog!! I am going to rise to the challenge taken on by several of the bloggers I read, and endeavor to post every day in the month of December. Well, I'll post to one of my blogs every day ... I still plan on keeping my baby related mush on das Kleinkind Chronicles, and my fitness/getting in shape/looking for work/general musings right here.

So day one, here goes!

In general, I WANT to believe in the overall goodness of people despite much evidence in the news to the contrary. I generally try to avoid the news except of course for the celebrity gossip. I may not have a clue what's going on in the economy, but by golly I've seen the news feeds from E! and People Magazine, and I can tell you where Madonna spent her Thanksgiving. Yes, I know it's pathetic that someone as intelligent as me knows more about what's in the tabloids than on CNN - but it's my life and that's how I choose to lead it at the moment.

Anyway, in addition to not watching a lot of "real" news, I'm also not much of a shopper. I have found, however, that it is a LOT of fun to shop for other people, especially the men in my life. I usually avoid the Black Friday crowd, but I had a grandma staying at the house ready to babysit and B.J. was at a football game, so in the late afternoon I thought I'd risk a trip to the Mall. It actually wasn't that bad since I suspect all the crazed discount-mongers had arrived at 0600 and were long home. After hitting a few stores, I made it back to my car with my booty in hand .... or at least most of it. I realized that I was missing a bag from Baby Gap which had been my first stop. I quickly went over my route in my head and realized that I must have set the bag down at Gymboree when I was combing through the sale racks. I was kindof bummed because I knew that there was no chance it would still be there hours later. Luckily it only contained a little pair of baby sweat pants that I got on sale for $4. I put the keys in the ignition and got ready to leave, but then decided that I might as well go in and ask if someone had turned it in - though I wasn't hopeful.

I walked back into the mall crowd and patiently stood in line at Gymboree. I asked the sales clerk, "I know this is a long shot, but did anyone turn in a Baby Gap bag with a pair of sweat pants in it?"

To my shock and surprise, she said, "yes they did!" Then proceeded to hand me the bag from a cabinet. Had I dropped it in an adult clothing store or some other place, then I would have figured no one would have use for my purchase. But given that it was sitting in a newborn clothing section of a kids clothing store, one would assume that whoever found it was also looking for wee outfits and could have easily swiped the sweatpants.

I left the Mall feeling a little better than when I arrived and happy that my belief in the goodness of strangers is not misplaced.

Countdown Begins!!

2008-11-11T12:31:00.006-06:00

I'm sure that most of you migrated over at least on a casual basis to my other blog, but for those who did not - I'd like to announce that my son Corrigan was born on 10/12/08 at 2:05 a.m. after a marathon 33 hour labor! He's healthy, I did great, and we're now adapting to a completely altered state of existence.

I have my first post-partum checkup tomorrow which will be exactly one month since the birth, but I have to say that I feel I've recovered quite well from the pregnancy and delivery. I've started walking, mainly putting the "Gremlin" (term of endearment for the baby) in a stroller and heading out in the neighborhood for 30 minutes of exercise. The first couple of times I did this, I had a lot of soreness afterwards, but my last walk I had no residual discomfort. My main obstacle to exercising at this point is dealing with a somewhat cranky baby who likes to scream at inopportune times which leads to some major sleep deprivation. Breastfeeding every 2-3 hours really takes a lot out of me as well - though I'm not complaining since it's the best thing for him!

Regardless of my obstacles, I will officially start training for the Little Rock Half-Marathon on December 8th. I'm going to follow a walk/run plan from my book Marathoning for Mortals that will have a lot more walking than I'm used to. I figure if I feel great I can always throw some more running in, but at this point I just need a reasonable and tangible goal.

I also need to get back into strength training and really focus on my core. This will be a little more difficult since going to the gym now requires a coordinated plan for the spouse to watch the Gremlin, but he is very supportive of my goals so I'm sure we'll find a way. As always, I'll be using this blog to keep me honest and hopefully more accountable!

So here we go!

Blog Hiatus

2008-05-23T00:49:00.002-05:00

After much consideration, I've decided to place this blog on hiatus. When I originally started this, it was called "Trying to Tri for the First Time" and I used it to chronicle my journey towards getting fit, losing weight and training for my first triathlon. I had a lot of fun detailing my first races, milestones along the way and just keeping track of the drastic changes I was making in my life through fitness.

When I started travel nursing, I added the dimension of moving to new places and having experiences as a mobile nurse while still posting about my running and races (this was when I changed the name to "The Verbose and Curious Travels of Nurse Jenn).

Now I'm finding that I'm no longer relevant ... I'm not traveling anymore, and I'm not currently able to train. I was hoping that I could continue on as a "struggles to stay fit while pregnant" theme, but at this point the most exercise I'm getting is taking the stairs at work. It seems that I have now resorted to using this as a way to vent about frustrations in my life, and honestly I don't want to do that. When I really think about it, my journey to doing that first triathlon truly made me the person that I am today. I gained such self-confidence and for the first time really felt comfortable with who I was. Not only did I look awesome physically, but I felt better about myself than I had in years. I doubt that I ever would have ever left Missouri and started traveling had I never pushed myself into doing things that were tough, seemed out of reach, and quite frankly were not a lot of fun in the beginning.

I really want to get back to the essence of who I was back then, and to have that focus and determination on a specific goal. I think I'm better off mentally when I'm training and obviously physically as well. The reality is that it's going to have to wait so I'd rather just put this project on hold until I can once again make this the blog I intended it to be.

I will be maintaining my pregnancy blog, but I know that a lot of you aren't really into that - seriously I wouldn't read that type of blog either unless it was a good friend or family member.

If all goes well with the delivery and recovery of the baby, I should be starting back up in mid-December training for the Little Rock Half-Marathon in March and then of course finding some late Spring tris to shoot for. If anyone would like to be notified of when I start training and posting again, please send me an email to jennx_rn@yahoo.com and I will send out a message when the blog becomes active again.

Thanks for reading and I'll see you when I start my quest to be a hot, in shape triathletic MILF!!!

Maybe there's hope for Little Rock after all??

2008-05-20T13:50:00.004-05:00

I can't lie, there are times where I am slightly dissatisfied with my new geography. I think a lot of it has to do with job dissatisfaction spilling over into other areas of life, but we'll just say that there are a lot of times where I dream of picking up the new house and far from perfect yard needing LOTS of work and just moving it somewhere else. Preferably a place with better summers, mountains in the distance, several excellent options for Thai food (and no, having just one place that also serves Chinese does NOT count), local coffee shops, bagel shops (bonus points if it's Einstein's), SuperTargets (they put the super store that starts with a "W" to shame), better grocery stores - ooooo!!! maybe a huge Whole Foods Mart? Suffice to say, there are conveniences that I miss and these are just a few things off the top of my head.

Maybe, just maybe there's hope for this river town after all?? After eating at my latest pregnancy induced crave stop, Cheeburger Cheeburger, we saw a large vacant corner space in the shopping development with a sign promising .... Coming Soon!! Panera Bread!!

This just might be my salvation!! Though their bagels aren't nearly as good as Einstein's, I love their menu - especially their salads and soup - and I spent a lot of time there when I lived in Columbia, MO. I often stopped for breakfast after work, basically bought my iBook solely to enjoy surfing their wireless while having a late lunch, and I wrote a lot of my first blog posts there while drinking the bottomless cup of coffee. I found a local Panera hangout in Virginia Beach during my three months there, and even occasionally hit Panera in Denver, though the parking in Cherry Creek North was atrocious so it was more of a treat than a routine hangout.

I don't know when it will be opening, it looks like they're just starting but I have high hopes of Panera goodness later this summer. A bright, glimmery ray of hope to look forward to in the midst of 105+ degree, humidity filled misery. Mmm, I can see that half salad and french onion soup now!!

So much for economic stimulus...

2008-05-19T13:42:00.002-05:00

Like most Americans, I have now received my $600 "gift" from Uncle Sam and what's not to like about free money?? Especially after considering how much I paid in taxes last year after making more than I've ever made in my life thanks to overtime and several bonuses.

Of course, I don't think Sam would be proud of what I did with it. I know that I was supposed to run out to the Mall or some other store and buy something frivolous to fuel the economy. Maybe get a new stereo receiver or some new shoes to inject some cash into the slowing consumer markets?? Well not me, the same day that I received it, I sent it promptly to my credit card that I have been whittling down to nothing since I started working as a travel nurse. It's so un-American of me to pay off my consumer debt when everyone else is just charging more. More importantly, it's so NOT Generation X of me to only buy things that I can pay for in cash. I'm of the generation where they signed you up for credit cards on campus despite the fact that most students had no money or income. I remember them hanging out on the quad and offering silly gifts for filling out the Visa application, knowing full well that a full time student had NO business with a credit card with a $2000 limit. Those poor saps that took the easy money are now the ones that a decade later are still paying on student loans, credit card debt and basically making the banks rich on interest. I'd be curious to see whether credit cards are still passed out like candy on today's campuses like they were in the early 90s?? Something tells me times have changed on the bank's end, though I'm sure the 19 year olds would still happily mortgage their future for a new X-Box, iPod or laptop computer if someone offered it to them for marginal payments each month.

Running ... what a pain!

2008-05-08T23:43:00.002-05:00

Well I guess I'm going to become a walker for the next 5 months. Despite my cool new Garmin and desire to be the hip pregnant chic that runs 5Ks, the body just isn't willing. I've been having a lot of discomfort lately from round ligament pain, and though I've learned the tricks to avoid it at home (don't get up from a seated position or bend over quickly), it's really noticeable when I try to jog. I went out this week and my heart rate was great when I warmed up! I felt awesome and really wanted to just pound the pavement a little, but as soon as I started even a slow jog it was extremely uncomfortable. I wore my tight supportive spandex shorts with a higher waist to support the growing lower belly, but it was no good. I was a little frustrated because I know lots of people run far later into their pregnancies, and I just have the slightest of bellies going on .... it seems silly for it to be so uncomfortable already, but it is what it is.

I was able to walk fairly comfortably (I think the right supportive belly gear will be crucial) and tomorrow I'm going to hit the gym and try the elliptical. I don't mind walking but it doesn't get me as aerobic as I would like and I'm guessing that bending over on a bike trainer may not be the most comfy either. I'm hoping the elliptical is tolerable and once my neighborhood pool is open, I think that swimming laps will be the way to go. I just don't want to end up with a ruined body AND a complete lack of cardiovascular fitness. I want to be running again by Christmas so we'll see how my alternative methods work.

A Garmin of my very own!!!

2008-05-05T15:51:00.003-05:00

I think that this is the day that will change the trajectory of my training forevermore .... the day that I received my very own Garmin Forerunner 305 GPS!!! Woo HOO!!!

BJ has one that I have used on occasion and it is the coolest thing ever because you turn it on, put it on your wrist and off you go. If tells you distance, speed, heart rate - you can set it to alarm when you're running too fast or slow or your heart rate is too high or low. When you get home you can download your run and see it on a map and it is incredibly accurate, even showing the spot where you went back into the middle of the street to avoid a particularly nasty looking dog for example.

BJ doesn't mind loaning me his, but the problem is that he runs at work at lot so it's typically with him in his gym bag when I'm in the mood to head out. There's also the problem of when we run or race together .... well to clarify, we may start at the same place at the same time, but he's faster than me so we do our own thing. If we're training, we usually set a time - "OK we're running 45 minutes" and then we each turnaround at our respective half way point or perhaps take our own route. He always has the super cool data .... and I don't :(

I was reading one of my triathlete forums and learned that you can even load routes onto the GPS then run it. This would be super cool if I was planning something new or in an unfamiliar location and put in wayside points so that you don't get lost. You can also do an out and back and pay absolutely no attention and zone out (which can happen if I'm listening to some good tunes or a great NPR podcast) and then use the GPS breadcrumb trail to find your way back.

Seriously, I really think it's going to change my life!!

A shout out to Diane of the Hot Legs for tipping me off on the fabulous sale that REI has going on. BJ had apparently been monitoring the internet for prices trying to find a good deal for a while so that he could surprise me with it. Now if only it had a cute purple covering or something so that it looks truly Jenn!!

Hooligans!!

2008-04-30T17:18:00.002-05:00

It's not that I don't like children in general, but I don't like trespassing, hooligan children!!

Our backyard has a 6 foot privacy fence and it is surrounded on two sides by community trails that meander through our neighborhood. After school there are lots of kids that walk home on these trails, sometimes they are loud and screeching (why?), other times you hear them beating on the fence with sticks as they walk by, mostly I just know they're passing through because the dogs bark.

On more than one occasion our back gate has been left wide open which can be quite a danger when you have a feisty terrier that loves to look for an opportunity to escape. Obviously someone was opening it - not us of course, but someone from the outside. I can only speculate that it is juvenile hooligans because it always seems to happen in the after school hours. After having this happen at least 3 or 4 times, we put a carabiner on the inside of the gate - thereby making it impossible to open the gate from the outside, but easy for us if we wanted to get out.

Well today, the gate was open once again and the carabiner had been pulled off. So basically someone came through our side gate, walked though our back yard, pulled the carabiner off the back gate and left it open. When BJ came home, he let the dogs out and didn't look for an open gate (we thought we had solved the problem) and our Tosca of course took off for parts unknown. She led quite the chase, I went to the left and had a neighbor point our her direction, BJ went right and found another lead from another neighbor .... in the end when we came back she was sitting on the back porch as if to say, "I'm sure hungry. Could you let me in??"

So now we have a carabiner on the inside of the side gate, strong rope tying the inside of the back gate closed and plans to install an electric fence as soon as possible. Maybe we shouldn't tell the home owner's association about that one?!?!?

Happy Earth Day!!

2008-04-22T16:25:00.002-05:00

In honor of Earth Day, I decided not to water our newly planted grass seed this morning given that we had showers forecast for this afternoon. See I can conserve, and reduce/reuse/recycle with the best of them!! I may be a nurse now, but back in the days of my environmental health studies I visited many a landfill, spent some time at incinerators, water treatment and sewage treatment plants and learned about local air pollution. I was thinking about going green long before the celebrities started driving their Priuses ... or is the plural Prii?? I'm trying to dredge up that high school Latin, but it's hard because I am remembering the evil clanking of Sr. Mary Annette's rosary beads - she was one tough, old nun!!

In other news, I learned that this week is Turn Off Your TV week. It is a noble effort to encourage other pursuits like reading, exercising and playing with your kids outdoors, and actually I watch so little TV these days that it wouldn't be hard at all to do this for a week. BUT - must they really choose this week??? I mean the week that Grey's Anatomy returns after a five month hiatus?!?!?!?!? Can I just TIVO it and watch it next week?? Would that be cheating?? I mean as much as I can't stand Meredith's character, I was so excited to finally see her break through and want to be monogamous with McDreamy who let's face it, should we have a lot of sympathy for a man that began dating her for months while conveniently forgetting to tell her about HIS WIFE that he eventually left her for?? Seriously, despite the cute, tousled hair we shouldn't forget that he has been quite an ass and given her good reason to be a little scared off. Oh and can we stop killing all of the viewers eyes with the George/Izzy pairing??? I mean not that I'm really into it or anything .... I'm just saying.

Why do my abs hate me?

2008-04-18T15:01:00.003-05:00

Remember how yesterday I had a pleasant soreness, you know the sweet message from the muscles saying, "Thanks Jenn for thinking of us!!"

OK, I take it back. Today my abs are so sore that I can't stand up straight! I only did like 120 crunches and back in the day I did three times that many. Apparently, they decided to say "screw you." And I can't even take my miracle ibuprofen that cures everything ... stupid baby!
Bowling tonight should be an interesting challenge.

Welcome Back Sore Muscles!

2008-04-17T11:49:00.003-05:00

I woke up this morning with that lovely soreness you get after a workout. Not so bad that I can't lift my arms above my head, but enough to know that I gave my muscles some challenge.

I finally got off my butt yesterday and headed to the gym. I know that I'm definitely needing to work on my cardio, but I'm also concerned about getting my body strong for the physical stresses that an extra 25 pounds are going to cause (though I'm only up 2 pounds so far). When I was working out with my trainer Cindy in Columbia, I had a great strength training regimen going on, but since starting to travel it's been nearly impossible to keep that up. Now that I'm settled in one place and have a gym membership, there's no excuse for that. I did some free weights and focused on the arms and legs then hit the mat for some abdominal work (oh my poor stomach muscles, you have no idea how ruined you're going to get!). I took it easy and just did two sets of my old routines because I knew that if I wasn't able to move my arms or walk today, it wouldn't be productive.

My plan is to strength train twice a week and start adding some abdominal work in more frequently since I really need to get that area as strong as possible. I do have a Pregnancy Fitness book kindly lent to me by Merk that I'm consulting just to see if there is anything I should avoid (exercises where I'm flat on my back) and how to modify as I get farther along.

I'm going to add cardio as I can, but probably focus more on walking, using the elliptical and stair climber. If I haven't really been running the past few months, it doesn't seem like it's the brightest thing to start pushing when I'm 15 weeks pregnant. I will be using my heart rate monitor and keeping things in a nice upper range of zone 2. We'll see if my personal motivation keeps up!

Weekend Update

2008-04-13T20:11:00.004-05:00

Did you know that it has been raining off and on here in Arkansas for what seems like weeks?? Seriously, I've been wondering if BJ and I should build an ark because it's getting kindof crazy. Of course in general it seems to be rainy and dreary on my days off and then sunny for the brief three days that I work - suck! My favorite place to run has been underwater off and on for almost a month and of course in between all the rain we've had tornados and sirens and winds, oh my!

A few tidbits ....

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We had a major storm come through last week that spawned a total of 10 tornadoes. When the civil defense siren down the street went off and we turned on the weather channel, it was heading right into our part of town. I grabbed my flashlight, hand crank weather radio, cell phone and some quilts and pulled the dogs into the center bathroom with me. BJ insisted that I was "overreacting," even when they announced that it had been sighted on the ground 5 miles away and moving our direction. I said, "you sit in the living room and blow away if you want, me the dogs, and our baby will stay right here."
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Since I've been feeling much better as of late, we actually went out last night and visited with friends! Woo Hoo!! I'm not an anti-social, slug!! We went over to Merk and Jeff's house - Merk being BJ's half marathon training partner and co-worker. Her husband just got back from Iraq and this was our second trial "couple date" ... you know where you try to find out if you're all compatible as couples and don't completely hate one person or another. It was a very enjoyable evening full of pizza dough hijinks and shared recollections of collegiate life in the early 90s. Ahh, it's so nice to have fun, intelligent conversation! Not to mention Jeff is also a transplanted Yankee, actually being from New England he's got even more street cred as a Yank than me.

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Today we finally had the chance to do some yard work. We've been wanting to seed parts of our yard for weeks but due to aforementioned torrential rains, we've been waiting till we were relatively assured of a few dry days. BJ did most of the hard work (turning over the nasty old sod) while I did some of the prep work (breaking up the clods) and we're hoping that in a few weeks we will have some happy bermuda mix on the south side of the house. We have SO much to do overall, but we're just taking it one step at a time.

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Thursday's Trip Down Memory Lane

2008-04-10T22:35:00.004-05:00

I'm having a uneventful night at work, and BJ sent me an email asking if I was going to compose a memory lane post. Given that all of my patients are happily sleeping (for the moment) and my charting is already caught up (major shocker) - I figured why not?? The problem is searching for a topic .... hmmm, what to talk about??

Well I guess we can talk about careers and jobs. Thinking back, I honestly don't think as a kid I ever had the whole, "When I grow up I wanna be a ____ ." I was always one of the smartest in my class, always on the honor roll, but I grew up in a very rural area and I think it was hard to see what the big wide world offered. Most of the families around us were farmers or coal miners, a few maybe drove to Springfield and worked in some capacity for the state government, but it wasn't like we had career day at my school. I always knew I wanted to go away to college, preferably far away. I remember wanting to go to UCLA when I was in grade school which was funny because I had never been farther west than Missouri at the time. Los Angeles seemed so exotic and exciting! I hadn't thought about what I would study, just going there.

Even in high school, I didn't have a clear vision of what I wanted to do with my life. I was lucky enough to move to a more urban area and attend an excellent, private high school that emphasized college preparation. I had a lot of opportunities to take things like Chemistry, Physics, Anatomy & Physiology, Calculus and the like - I seemed to gravitate towards the science world, but I still didn't know what I was going to do with it. Unlike my grade school days, most of my peers in high school had parents who were doctors, lawyers, accountants, teachers, nurses etc. and most of my friends also seemed to have a clear vision on what they wanted to do. I still just kindof plugged away, got good grades, ended up with extremely competitive ACT scores that would have allowed me to go anywhere to college. I had little colleges from all over the US contacting me and offering me scholarships, but what do you do with this when you have no clue what you want to be???

I did make it through college, plodded through lots of majors .... Pharmacy, Medical Lab Technology, Middle School Ed (science & math emphasis), Chemistry, Biology ... contemplated even more majors, thought about being a doctor, lawyer, chemist, teacher, joining the Peace Corps. In the end I still didn't have a flipping clue, but as a second semester junior I was still undecided. I ended up in an environmental health major because it seemed interesting at the time and I knew I had to pick something and just get my damn degree.

Of course I obviously didn't have it totally figured out because after 7 years working in public health I went to nursing school, but at least it's in the same ballpark.

Though it's sometimes been frustrating as I've searched for my path (which is still ongoing), I guess if I look back, I've never really known what I want to be when I grow up. I just know I want to be happy, to enjoy the work that I do, and to feel that my work makes a difference in the lives of others.

If my kid ends up being clueless too, I'll just encourage them to go to a good college, take lots of different classes, and have confidence that they will eventually find their way.

So what did you want to be when you were a kid??

Graffitti Update

2008-04-07T16:58:00.002-05:00

We heard back from BJ's law enforcement connections and our fence graffitti was not random hooliganism, but a tag from a specific gang. We were told that we should remove it (which we were planning on doing anyway) and BJ is out with the belt sander as we speak.

Apparently gang activity does not simply live in the traditional "ghetto" parts of town given that the gang bangers of twenty years ago are now raising their families in safer, more suburban communities. Which who can blame them? If I had a decent job or decent money from my nefarious activities, I would want my kids out of the projects. Not that there is necessarily any violence around here ... it's actually a very safe neighborhood ... but obviously there are some portions of that element, or that wannabe element living around here. Either way, the police like to track where these things turn up, we will let the home owner's association know, and when we see our neighbor's we will let them know as well. I guarantee that our neighbors would be just as surprised and disturbed as we are to know that this looms somewhere in our midst.

"Tri" Again Next Year

2008-04-03T20:02:00.003-05:00

Well it looks like 2008 will NOT be my triumphant return to the triathlon racing scene. Before you condemn me for giving up so early in the season, I DO have a good reason. It turns out that this wanna-be is knocked up and road biking and racing tri are not recommended after the first trimester and I just passed that point. I do plan on continuing running (well my pitiful run/walks at the moment) and to start swimming as soon as the neighborhood lap pool opens for the season. My goal is to maintain my fitness as much as possible during the next 6 months and stay as healthy as possible.

Next year, I want to be right back at it given that I'll have even more impetus to train so that I can get rid of the damage that I'm sure this gremlin will do to my physique. Til then, I'll find some 5 and 10K to keep me occupied.

BJ and I are maintaining a joint blog on the whole prego experience at http://jones-baby.blava.org/ for anyone that's interested.

Keep It Confidential

2008-04-03T09:56:00.004-05:00

I'm so sorry if my recent posts on various topics are boring anyone ... I'm just going through a stage where various subjects are compelling me to write or comment, and it's hard to ignore when I have this outlet.

Today I was surfing through the entertainment news (I'm sorry to admit that though I'm highbrow enough to follow NPR and the BBC, I also like to catch E! and People online) and I was particularly disturbed by this story. There have been several instances of celebrity medical treatment status being leaked, but this was particularly disgusting because poor Farrah hadn't even told her family yet AND was even being treated under an alias.

Even before the days of HIPAA where medical privacy and disclosure were bound tightly by law, it has always been an ethical mandate that we in health care keep private information private. During every hospital orientation I have had, there is always a section on confidentiality and how you can be disciplined or fired for accessing medical information that you do not need to do your job. It's sometimes tough because I can take care of a patient for weeks in a row, but when they go to surgery, despite how much I want to know how they're doing - I legally have no right to know anything unless I am assigned to take care of them. Now I'm not going to lie, amongst nurses we often have some professional consideration for these circumstances. I remember having to be off for a weekend and a baby that I had taken care of for two months since his birth wasn't doing so well. If you're not a nurse, I can't even explain how easily and quickly we get attached to our patients. When it's someone you've taken care of for weeks, you are very much invested in their outcome. I would call in to the night shift nurse to "check" on him - not necessarily ask tons of specifics like what are his vent settings, chest tube output etc. etc. - but how is he doing? Ethically that's pretty grey given that I'm not currently working that shift and taking care of the patient, but it's FAR different than looking up patients I'm not even involved with.

When I worked in Columbia, MO which is a smaller town, I was confronted with situations more often that dealt with confidentiality. We were the biggest NICU in town, so if an acquaintance of mine had a neighbor or a family member with a baby in the NICU, it wasn't uncommon to be asked. "so is Baby X doing OK?" It usually was asked out of concern because in smaller towns, people tend to know each other. Those were times where it would be easy to say, "oh yeah, they're doing great" or "they're pretty sick" but I'd have to stick with the whole, "I really can't talk about that."

Another job that provoked similar questions was working in the Burn/Trauma unit and having patients who had made the news for dramatic fires, car crashes, accidents etc. and people wondering, "how is that college student doing who got caught in the fire?" Even though I was just a student nurse extern at the time, I still knew what was going on and people knew where I worked. Those types of questions were not uncommon and it required diligence to keep your mouth shut. I was working in the NICU at the time, but when a young, female police officer was shot (in the end fatally) by a teen aged suspect, it was all over the news for two or three weeks and was quite a high profile local case. After she died, several employees were disciplined and even terminated for accessing her medical records without cause - all worked outside the Trauma Unit. It may seem harsh, but after reading about the recent Britney Spears and Farrah Fawcett cases, I see where it's a slippery slope and clearly people have no sense. Especially when medical records are computer based and the system logs EVERY person who looks at a file. I know that I would be very upset if I were a patient at my hospital and my co-workers heard through the grapevine what I was being treated for or something specific about my health, let alone the whole flippin' world. I am glad to see that UCLA is taking a harsh stand, and I hope Farrah sues that individual for disclosing her medical information, because doing it for money?? Even more despicable in my opinion.

Apparently consumer pressure works!!

2008-04-02T10:59:00.004-05:00

Though I've never mentioned it on my blog before, I do NOT shop at Wal-Mart and I haven't for years. I won't attempt to convince you that their labor and business practices are evil, just do some searching on the internet and you'll find that they aren't nearly as "small town" and "worker" friendly as they claim to be.

I had heard about this story a few weeks back, an example of their pathetic greed. A brain damaged woman who paid Wal-Mart for her insurance, whose insurance paid out after a devastating accident, then a corporate entity that sued to recover all of her damages awarded in a law suit to repay themselves for her health care. I'd feel differently if she hadn't been an employee paying for her insurance (and not cheap, overly subsidized healthcare either) - she was entitled to those benefits. And now that she will live out her life in a nursing home which generally costs upwards of $36,000 - $48,000 a year, that lawsuit settlement money was not going to be used by her family to buy new cars, or a boat, or a vacation home - it was going to go to her lifelong care. If that money is taken by Wal-Mart, this poor family has no funds to pay for her care. So in the end, Medicaid would be forced to pay because unless you're independently wealthy, no one can afford long term nursing care. And as a former nursing home inspector, I can tell you that when Medicaid is footing the bills, your options in choice of a care facility are limited.

I'm just thankful that the enormous response mounted by consumers and citizens who heard of this convinced Wal-Mart to reconsider. What happened to taking care of our employees? Since when has greed replaced humanity?? Of course I haven't changed my mind about Wal-Mart, don't think for a minute that they wouldn't have changed their mind had the negative press not been so overwhelming.

March Madness and Updates

2008-03-30T19:22:00.003-05:00

Just to show how selfless of a person I am ... despite the fact that my brackets would have been TOTALLY screwed given that I picked Kansas to win it all... I was really pulling for Davidson to win. There's nothing I like more than a good underdog story and when I see a small college that no one has ever heard of (OK, I had never heard of) make it to the Elite Eight and play with so much heart, how can you not want them to win?? I always wonder if these moments truly change people by having that period in the spotlight, thousands of fans cheering for you, making you believe you can win despite the odds. Even though you'll never likely play after college, that confidence might propel someone into a different trajectory in their life all because of that one tournament where they were a part of a Cinderella story. At least I like to think it does.

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An update on my friend Beverly who was kidnapped. Her car was used in a drive by shooting two nights later which likely confirms my suspicion that the perpetrators were gang related (though nothing like that has been mentioned in the press). The car was later abandoned. It is currently being dusted for fingerprints. I saw Beverly on Thursday night and she is still quite shaken, but very thankful to be alive.

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oh, and I did take my little walk with brief periods of jogging. I forgot how good it feels to get the heart pumping, and even though I'm ridiculously out of shape - you have to start somewhere right??

Negativity is Thy Name

2008-03-30T03:20:00.003-05:00

I'm going to make myself go for a run ... jog ... perhaps walk mixed with a touch of jogging here and there??? ... when I get off work. I've become a pathetically lazy couch potato as of late and I have some serious negative energy that I'm needing to burn off.

My personal life is pretty awesome, I mean I have a fabulous husband who adores me and sends me flowers for no particular reason (like this week), how great is that?? I am however sorely lacking in the social circle given that all of my close friends live in states far away. I haven't really been able to make a lot of friends since moving here, and the night shift schedule makes it particularly tough to even coordinate something if in theory I had a local friend. I do think it takes a while to find your niche when you relocate, but it's even worse here because I'm so different from most of the people I meet. I'm a flaming, open-minded liberal who doesn't go to church, while most people here .... aren't.

The other big issue is that I am suffering from serious job dissatisfaction at the moment. Unfortunately I'm making such good money that I can't afford to do anything else, but it is really starting to wear on me. I haven't decided if it's working in the NICU in general, or working in this particular NICU. I am so tired of dead beat, neglectful parents and jacked up babies with no chance of a quality of life. There's always a certain element of this in any unit I've worked in, but it seems to be the norm as opposed to the exception where I'm at now. I can't even tell you the last time I had a patient where the parent(s) showed up or even called routinely, it's been over three weeks for sure. It just blows me away because if they show no interest in their sick, hospitalized child, why would I think they're going to give a crap when they're home and healthy?? At some point, I'm guessing that the hospital will not renew my travel contract and I'll have to figure out what to do. It's going to be rough because no matter where I staff at, it's going to be a HUGE paycut. I'll also have to decide whether it's time to try something different and if so, what that will be. I'm kindof looking forward to the opportunity to work in a different realm, but the almost 50% cut in pay??? Not so much.

So yes, I think a walk sprinkled with moments of jogging is definitely in order ... if it stops thundering and lightning that is.

Disgusting!

2008-03-27T22:55:00.002-05:00

I'm a little disgusted at the moment. Tonight, I learned that one of the very sweet nurses that I work with who helped plan my work wedding shower was kidnapped at gunpoint. It happened at a local Super Wal-Mart and thankfully they drove about 12 miles then shoved her out of the car. I can't imagine how terrifying the ordeal must have been, but she is very lucky to be alive.

About 10 years ago, the sister-in-law of my uncle (we weren't related, but I knew her from family gatherings at my aunt and uncle's house over the years) was carjacked. Unfortunately, the perpetrator chose to drive a few miles, shoot her in the head, and dump her body in a wooded area off the side of the road. She had a son and daughter in college and a young son at home, obviously their lives were never the same . The bastard was caught trying to cross the Canadian border in the car; then tried, convicted and sentenced to death, though I doubt that gave anyone much comfort. Especially when Gov. George Ryan commuted everyone's death sentences before he left office as an attempt to make his legacy be that of "the compassionate pardoner" as opposed to the scammer and crook that he was. Did I mention former Gov. Ryan is in prison now?? Interestingly enough, the state of Missouri wants a piece of the scum who murdered her for another murder he committed .... maybe he won't be so lucky to avoid the lethal injection this time??

Anyway, I'm just thankful that Beverly escaped with her life, though I'm sure she'll never feel safe again.

Bangin' in the Rock

2008-03-25T19:56:00.005-05:00

So apparently gang activity is alive and well in Little Rock .... or at least random acts of retarded graffiti.

We have a trail that runs along our back fenceline mainly used by school kids walking home from the elementary school three blocks away, and people in the subdivision walking their dogs. Sometime last week a hoodlum (or two who knows) created this lovely piece of art on our fence.

**edited: photo removed given that it is gang affiliated and I do not want to encourage or incite**

I walked down the trail and didn't see anyone else who was lucky enough to have received such careful attention to their fences. We called the clubhouse (we live in one of those gated communities) and apparently this has happened in the past but not lately. BJ sent it to one of his law enforcement friends involved with local gang activity to see if it's random graffiti or not (mainly out of our own curiosity). I guess we'll have to sand or paint.

Stupid hoodlums!

Houston, We Have Steak!!

2008-03-25T19:37:00.007-05:00

After weeks of staring at our pretty grill sitting alone and gas-less on the deck - we HAVE GRILLAGE!!!

The plumber who visited last week came in with an exorbitantly high estimate so we called two others for comparison. Both plumbers 2 and 3 were quite a bit lower, so we settled on one who came this morning to put in the gas line as well as cap off the leaking unused gas line to the fireplace (we're opting out of a gas insert as opposed to spending hundred perhaps thousands in finding the leak and then repairing all of the brick work).

So tonight, we had yummy steaks and baked potatoes on the grill and they were DELICIOUS!!!! What happy meat eaters we are!

SuperSonic!

2008-03-22T09:56:00.005-05:00

Yesterday afternoon as I was watching basketball (Jenn LOVES March Madness!) I was contemplating my love of Sonic. You know, the drive in restaurant where you can get such delicious concoctions as cherry chocolate colas, a chocolate malted, slushes and tater tots. My recent favorite is Cherry Vanilla Diet Coke, cherry Limeaid and raspberry sweet tea (not sure if that's available everywhere or just here in the South) either of which you can get for 50% off during happy hour!! Woo Hoo!! And did I mention there's a Sonic conveniently located at the entrance to my subdivision??!?! Score!!

While thinking about a cool, refreshing Cherry Vanilla Diet Coke - I started musing on how my relationship with Sonic began. It was waaaay back in 1992 during my first trip to the University of Missouri - Rolla to visit my buddy Kevin. I quickly learned that being a non-fat, relatively hot chic AND visiting an engineering school populated by often drunk frat boys = LOTS of attention for Jenn! Did I mention how much I love Rolla?? Some of my best times in college were at the St. Pat's celebration at Rolla (ahh, to be young an a desired minority once again!)

Anyway, while visiting Rolla in '92 - I looked up Ed who was also a student there. I knew him from marching band and he was always a super nice guy. Kevin and I picked up Ed and he suggested going to Sonic (WHERE?) for cherry limeaids (WHAT?). At the time Sonics were not the ubiquitous sight along the highway that they are now and I had never seen a drive in where you actually .... you know "drive in." I was dubious about ordering this cherry limeaid concoction because I'm not even a fan of lemonade, and limeaid? Sounded gross!

Well I was wrong, from the first sip to the last maraschino cherry bite - it was the most delicious thing I had ever tasted!! In college, when traveling to Rolla (or through Rolla to visit my family in SW Missouri) I always stopped at Sonic for a cherry limeaid and a corn dog. It wasn't until several years later that Sonics started to pop up in parts of Illinois and a cherry limeaid was as easy to get as a Frostie from Wendy's. The love affair has never ended .... long, live Sonic!

Honeymoon Hike

2008-03-20T10:47:00.005-05:00

We really didn't do a "traditional" honeymoon - just wasn't my thing. We did stay an extra night in Eureka Springs and got massages on Sunday which was pretty cool, but then just came home to an agenda of nothingness which is a vacation in itself.

While out fulfilling a hamburger craving that I had (and I hardly EVER crave hamburgers) we saw a new outdoorsy shop opened in West Little Rock. We went in and found that all of their shoes and boots were 50% off and we had *just* been talking in Eureka about how both of us needed some light duty hiking boots since I hate dayhiking in my heavy, stiff backpackers. About 10 minutes later we were both outfitted with new day hikers (I'm ashamed to say they are a matching style) and we got them for a steal!! When we got home I immediately pulled out my hiking guide to find a trail we could explore the next day.

We ended up choosing a 4 mile loop in Lake Ouachita State Park which was a little over an hour away. The hiking guide said "moderate" but I've learned that these guides are usually totally overblowing the effort so we were expecting a nice leisurely jaunt. The Caddo Trail was actually quite scenic and had some nice uphills and downhills as it traveled along the bluff of the lake shore. Though it was posted as a three hour hike, we cut that down in half. The best part was that a group had set off about an hour before us, so if there were evil spiderwebs crossing the path, they were the unfortunate souls to walk into them.

The new hiking shoes were great, and we can't wait to use them on some more challenging terrain.

Scary Swiffers!!

2008-03-20T10:28:00.004-05:00

Both of my dogs have always been afraid of the vacuum cleaner .... well perhaps not afraid but more believing that it is their sworn, mortal enemy. This started when Tosca was a puppy and she would bark and attack the vacuum, I can only guess that when Oakley was added to the household she pulled him aside and said, "that thing that sucks and makes the noise? It wants to kill you!"

Oakley has always been quite overt in his vacuum attacks, silently skulking behind me and out of nowhere lunging forth and biting (there are teeth marks to prove it.) On more than one occasion he has happily walked into a room only to encounter said evil vacuum, quiet and alone in a place he was not expecting it, then tripping over himself and howling to escape. I confess I have found these moments pretty damn funny, except the one time I was living alone and he started freaking out barking in the middle of the night and I was sure someone had entered the house to murder me, only to find that he had gotten up for a drink and been frightened by the vacuum in the hallway.

Today I got out the Swiffer - you know the non-powered broom with disposable cloths - to dust the wood floors. Well apparently his fear is not of vacuums but of any device used to clean, sweep or remove items from the floor. Seriously, what's scary about a swiffer?

My dog is such a pussy.
**the picture doesn't show the fear as well, but his tail is tucked between his legs and he sniffed it then very slowly backed away.**

Here Comes the Bride

2008-03-19T10:52:00.037-05:00

**For more wedding pics than you would ever want to see, click here**

And now, without further adieu ... the wedding recap.

Don't think this will be an interesting episode of Bridezillas or My Big Fat Redneck Wedding, just a simple, sweet little wedding without drama, the need for Xanax or even an embarrassingly drunk loudmouthed guest!

Wedding week started with my having a slight cold (aaargh!) and doing a three night stretch in a row which always wears me out. On the last night, some kind co-workers were sweet enough to plan a surprise shower complete with purple napkins, punch, and a white sheet cake decorated with purple icing. Being a mere traveler in their midst, I was very touched by the gesture and the $250 they managed to collect for a Lowe's gift certificate (hello new carpet in the master bedroom!).

Thursday was very stressful because despite needing to sleep after work, I had tons of errands to run given that we were leaving early on Friday. In typical Jenn fashion I left things to the last minute like picking up my wedding dress, getting mascara, underwear (seriously - even left this to the day before and for you men out there women do NOT go "commando"), a pedicure and of course packing. It turned out that the winter storm of the century was preparing to hit Central Arkansas (an area where a dusting of snow causes complete and utter panic) so we were wondering what the drive would be like the next day.

Friday we got up relatively early to some serious snow fall the likes that I have never seen in Little Rock. It wasn't really cold and the roads didn't seem too bad yet so we decided to just take it slow and head out. The road to Eureka was a major highway (though not interstate) and we figured we'd be OK. Before heading out of town we stopped at Kroger (supermarket) for flowers. I refused to blow tons of money on some silly florist bouquet when I could tie up some flowers myself. I found some purple mums and white roses that I thought would do the trick and off we went.

The first 45 minutes or so was snowy and then we hit roads that had been snowed on previously but were clear. By the time we made it to the North park of Arkansas it was bone dry- they hadn't got a lick of snow or rain. Kindof sad because winter photos would have been cute. We checked in to the Bavarian Inn, an adorable little hotel with a fabulous room! A king bed, fireplace, couch, two chairs, balcony and massive two person jacuzzi for $99 - just $10 more than the Best Western and definitely a good choice. For those who have never had the privilege of going to Eureka Springs, it's an adorable little mountain town that was formerly an artist colony and place where people came in the late 1800s to "take the healing waters." Now it's populated by hippy sorts, bikers, a large gay community and full of antique shops, interesting stores, spas and massage therapists and has more bed and breakfasts and hotels than a little town of 2400 would EVER need. There are several wedding chapels and most of the B&Bs do weddings as well so it was the perfect place for a hitching. Friday night we had some excellent BBQ at Bubba's and went to bed early.

Saturday we went a great breakfast place - The Mud Street Cafe recommended by the hotel staff and ended up eating there every day. We walked around town a little bit, enjoyed the sunny but frigid day and hoped to take a nap but alas! I had a hair appointment at 2.

Though I'm a pretty low maintenance girl, I figured my wedding was one occasion for nicer hair. I decided to just go with a "please curl my hair" approach. I'm not one for big updos since I never wear my hair like that normally. I'm a big believer in the fact that a bride should still look like herself - just maybe a bit fancier. After about 50 minutes of curling iron work ... curly hair had arrived!! I then drove my car through an automatic car wash because it was filthy from the road and I just didn't think that was appropriate for such an occasion. I made it back to the hotel around 3p.m. and the wedding was for 4 - so luckily I just had to put my makeup on and throw on my clothes. In the end, I don't think I looked too shabby. My only problem was that the spaghetti straps on my dress were just a wee bit long and kept wanting to fall down - guess I should have gotten those sewn shorter ... oh well.

I arrived at the chapel first, met the photographer we had hired (she was very sweet) and went over final ceremony details with the JP. The chapel had a stock ceremony that was a wee bit too hippy-dippy for us so I basically rewrote the whole thing with lots of help from the internet and some great forums like IndieBride. The photographer snapped some shots before BJs arrival, and I hid in another room when he showed up.

The song we had chosen, Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole was played as the intro and my sauntering into the room music. You've probably heard it before, it's a gorgeous interpretation that I think is full of hope. This video shows the artist who died at a young age and is highly revered in Hawa'ii, it doesn't have the part where he transitions into "What a Wonderful World" which was on the track we used.

The ceremony went off without a hitch. I had a pretty big cheesy grin on my face, giggled a bit (as I do when I'm nervous), and BJ blatantly stared at my cleavage which was apparently just in his line of sight.I won't bore you with lots of details but we had one reading from Madeline L'Engle (children's author of A Wrinkle In Time) a funny poem by Ogden Nash, and the vows I found online and thought they were awesome ...

"you are my companion in life and my one true love. I will treasure our friendship and love you today, tomorrow, and forever. I will trust and honor you, I will laugh and cry with you. With unfailing love I will stand by you through the best and the worst, through the difficult and the easy. As I have given you my hand to hold so I give you my life to keep."

and we finished the ceremony with the Blessing of the Apaches
"Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now there is no more loneliness for you,
For each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two bodies,
But there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place,
To enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth."

It was beautiful and everything truly reflected us and we had our song on again as we finished up and took our pictures.

We did most of the pics outside and it was COLD!!

One shot shows my AWESOME purple Guess heels but there is absolutely zero blood in my goosebumpy legs so I look albino!! I also should mention my purple pedicured toenails!! I think it confused the Korean woman at the nail shop, "you sure you want purple?"

And for the record, my $15 of flowers from Kroger turned out just fine. It turns out that my Hobby Lobby ribbon looked good on the spool but was a completely different shade of purple once I used it, but since I don't worry too much about such things it didn't bother me at all.

Afterwards we ate at The Bavarian Inn (where we were staying) they have a Czech-German restuarant that is considered one of the best ethnic places in the state. The Inn and restaurant had just opened for the season the week prior and since BJ is a lover of all things German - it was a nice place to eat. The food was delicious (I had a green peppercorn steak, BJ with the goulash) but we were sure to leave room for the cake!

Umm, it was good, good cake!! It was orange sponge cake with "hummingbird" filling which is a raspberry lemon concoction. Many thanks to Sarah V. at work for turning me on to this cake shop in Springdale, AR. It was gorgeous and purple and I can't wait to eat the top tier in a year!!! We did do the traditional, let's feed each other cake thing, and we both played nicely with no cake smashage or smearing.

Though BJ does have a habit of licking my nose sometimes just because he knows it irritates me!!

After being completely stuffed with excellent food and cake, we called it an evening. A fabulous wedding, just the way I wanted it!!

(edited to add: I cannot get the pictures and text to wrap like I want. Stupid blogger!!)

Boy I'd sure like a nice grilled steak!

2008-03-18T07:43:00.004-05:00

One of the sad things about moving into the new house was that we had to leave grilling behind - at least for a while. The rental house had a natural gas grill attached to the patio and the new house does not have an exterior gas line. For some reason, people around here are all crazy about natural gas grills and not as into the LG ones with the tank that I'm used to seeing. After we moved, we planned on waiting for tax refunds to purchase a grill and hire a plumber to run the line to the deck.

Well we've had a grill for about three weeks now. Just sitting all lonely and covered by itself on the deck. Our problem?? Dead beat plumber!!

I should mention that my Mom works for a wholesale distributor of plumbing and HVAC parts and she deals with plumbers everyday and loves them. When I visit her at work, she's always introducing me to one of her customers and sadly probably telling them stories about me all the time (I think the latest is the wedding pictures she's showing EVERYONE ). So I'm inclined to like plumbers.

When we first moved into the house we had a water leak, then a clogged drain from the washer that dumped water all over the floor, then a gas leak - all requiring some plumbing action. Our home warranty company sent over Larry and we loved him! He was friendly and during one of his visits my Mom was here and they got to talk plumbing and she liked him too. We even asked him about a gas line during one of his visits and it would be "no problem." So when the grill was purchased it was time!!!

We booked Larry and BJ took off work to anxiously await his arrival. He even promised to go shopping for steaks that night!! Well Larry never showed up, and when his office was called the woman said, "Oh I'm so sorry. His daughter went into labor! I guess I should have called you." Since we are understanding (though wishing someone would have called since BJ stayed home specifically for this) we rescheduled for early the next week. Again, BJ stayed home and we had a no show. He called and this time the office said, "there was an emergency water heater problem he had to take care of today. I forgot to call you YESTERDAY AFTERNOON." So they knew the day before that they were cancelling the appointment? And didn't call? BJ was highly miffed at this and much to my surprise allowed them to re-schedule again, but there was no time available until the wedding, so we were going to try again this past Saturday.

And of course, a No Call. No Show. I was sleeping (I worked nights all weekend) and apparently BJ left a very unflattering message on the office phone, and when he went to run errands a stern note was put on the door (in the event Larry showed up very late) stating not to knock or ring the doorbell since I was sleeping. We were disappointed because we had really liked him and are not sure if he has complete idiots working his office?? He didn't seem like the type to be so irresponsible. I just know that if the situation was reversed and we weren't there, the plumber would have charged us for the time.

So our poor grill still sits all alone and untouched. My poor belly craves a medium rare steak or a nice grilled breast of chicken. And now we are keeping our fingers crossed that the plumber we hired from a billboard at the entrance to our subdivision will actually show up today.

Thursday's Trip Down Memory Lane

2008-03-13T18:55:00.006-05:00

First of all, I promise to have a wedding recap sometime next week. At this point, I'm waiting to get all of the pictures back and I just haven't had the energy to give the subject justice. I'll chalk it up to having seven nights off in a row which always seems to bring out my inner sloth!!

In honor of "wedding week" why don't we travel back about a year to a magical time in Jenn's life, a momentous occasion, an event that changed two people's lives for better (at least we're hoping) ... the first date of Jenn and BJ.

I didn't post effusively about the date because I had learned in the recent past that sometimes it can bite you in the ass if you gush about a blossoming relationship. I think I played it coy and just said "it went well" or some other nonsense .... but now you'll get the full story.

BJ and I (or should I say hogshtrbug and GennX) were introduced on match.com in February '07. He winked at me (matchspeak for "hey you look kinda cool") and sent me a message, but by that time I was embroiled in a blossoming relationship with Bachelor #1 (henceforth to be known as "He Who Dumped Me By Never Calling Me Again"). Since I'm an honorable woman ... seriously I really am ... I let hogshtrbug know that I was currently dating someone but thank you for the interest.

Fast forward about 6 weeks and I put my profile back up on match. Pretty quickly I got a message from BJ to the effect of "Hey you're back!" We ended up talking on the phone, getting along quite well, and planning to meet for lunch. After he cancelled on me THREE TIMES, I was getting the feeling he wasn't really interested. It was no skin off my bones because I was leaving for an assignment in Colorado in 5 weeks - a fact that I told him of upfront. I sent him a text (don't you love this new high tech courting?!?) and said, "if you don't want to meet me, that's fine." Apparently that lit a fire under his ass, because he scheduled another lunch date for Friday, April 5th at 11:30 a.m. at Vino's - a local brewpub/pizzeria. Of course in the back of my mind, I was waiting for a 10:00 text cancelling because of "work" or some other rubbish.

We met at Vino's and I WAS ON TIME (just for the record) and my first thought was that BJ reminded me of my friend Spooky's younger brother. We got our pizza and beer and commenced to talk about everything under the sun. We quickly found that we had similar tastes in movies and TV, were both fans of Star Wars and Buffy (something I normally reserve for later dates) we hit on politics, religion ... basically all taboo subjects. The hours flew by, the beer continued to flow, BJ called his office and took off the rest of the afternoon and we stayed at that lunch for FIVE hours.

At this point he suggested that we just change clothes and go out to dinner ... but I actually had another dinner date already planned (remember BJ had cancelled on me numerous times so I wasn't planning on it really working out) so I said, "I'd love to but I have other plans." BJ replied, "Well if your other date doesn't' work out, I'll be out at Sticky Fingerz ( a local restaurant/live music joint) with friends and you should join us."

Long story short, I did end up at Sticky Fingerz later that night. The local paper was shooting pics of the crowd and we actually have a photo to commemorate the first day we met (near the top of the page) .... I like to call it Date 1B since BJ refuses to allow it to be Date 2. I got home at an ungodly hour but still managed to get up early and run a 10K race the next morning. Obviously things went marvelously from there!!! It was the best first date I ever had.

HITCHED!!!

2008-03-10T15:05:00.002-05:00

No Beer for BJ :(

2008-03-05T15:50:00.007-06:00

I can't believe it's taken me until Wednesday to post about this past weekend ... I am really becoming a delinquent blogger!!! Bad Jenn!!

This past weekend was the Little Rock Marathon and I have to say, that for a relatively small race (about 1200 for the full and 2200 for the half) they really put on a class act. I did the relay last year and I was struck by the very enthusiastic volunteers and how friendly everyone seemed to be. Of course the medals are envious, the half marathon medal is fancier than any I have and the full medal?!? They are the largest in the world and just GINORMOUS!! I personally think that you get a lot for your money in the race. I registered back in November during early registration and paid $55 which would have gotten me the big medal, the traditional cotton race tee, as well as a technical finisher's tee ... assuming I finished. Shoot, I paid $80 to do that half in Denver and just ended up with a really cheap, see through cotton shirt.

Anyway, I was a little bummed that I wouldn't be participating in any events, but I took the opportunity to have some fun and cheer for my man!! On Saturday we both volunteered at the Expo, BJ handed out timing chips and I handed out race shirts. I was amazed at the diversity of people running the races, enjoyed talking to out of towners, and could see the excitement of people clearly running their first long distance event. I will definitely take the opportunity to volunteer again, though BJ was thinking it had been a bad idea for him to be standing on concrete for four hours the day before his first half ... didn't think about that when I encouraged him to volunteer with me ... sorry :(

Race morning was just beautiful! I couldn't have asked for better weather with temps in the low 60s. When we arrived downtown at the River Market the streets were flooded with anxious people. I was a little sad to not be wearing one of my signature racing skirts, but it was fun to be a part of it. BJ met up with his training partner Merk who is a co-worker that runs right on his pace. She's a former Marine, Mom to a three year old, has a hubby in Iraq and I honestly don't know how she does it all. I was glad that he had her to run with because it's nice to have company when you're on the road a few hours. I kissed him good luck then disappeared into the crowd so he could get his game on.

The start had been moved since last year and was ridiculously crowded. BJ complained about all of the walkers mixed in with the runners and I noticed in the paper that there were obvious walkers (they had W's on their numbers) mixed in next to the 3:30 pace group .. WTF? So from what I hear the first mile or so was pretty miserable with walkers right smack dab in the middle of things and runners having to head for sidewalks to get around. Of course I'm a big fan of how walker friendly the course is, but just wish they would have ensured they were well behind the runners.

The course was very spectator friendly and with just a little hustle, I was able to catch them at the 1 mile mark (they didn't hear me given how thick the crowd still was), 3, 6, 8 and then I scoped out a great place at the finish. All along, they both looked great!! I also got the chance to cheer for some of the Hot Legs runners along the way as well as just use my junior high cheerleading experience for the greater good of complete strangers.

BJ's goal was to beat 2:30 and he ended up at 2:25 which was just awesome!! To think that when we met, he was just talking about running! I gave him the link to the Couch to 5K, he did his first 5K in August, 10K in October and then a very respectable half finish. He was very excited and the best part was he just had a little residual soreness ... nothing like my extreme inability to move after the first half!!!

The only downer to the whole day was that BJ has seen my pictures and heard about my love of the post-race beer. Even if I only take a few sips, it's always like manna from heaven after a race. Well, we walk over to the beer area (he was even sure to have me carry his ID that day in case he got carded) and ..... they wouldn't give any out to participants until noon!!!! Stupid Bible Belt!! It was just after 10:30 so there was no reason to wait around that long, besides it wouldn't be the same. He was quite dejected, mad about living in Arkansas, and of course we had no beer at home, and it's not sold at all on Sundays, so he was just screwed.

Poor planning on my part. Next time I'll throw a fat tire in the cooler just in case!! But congrats to BJ and Merk on an excellent race!! Can't wait to join you next year!!

Running Update

2008-02-26T22:48:00.003-06:00

This has not been the most productive year thus far. I started out with a great enthusiasm to overcome my sloth, started making some minor progress, then was completely sidetracked by getting sick. I honestly haven't run since .... I don't even know. It's been a little more than 4 weeks I guess!?! I was doing a few training runs, going very slow but at least doing it, but that respiratory infection just killed it. Even after I got over the raging fever and inability to get out of bed, the slightest bit of exertion would bring on a horrible coughing fit, as would breathing in cold air. I would say that I'm pretty well cured now, but of course I've been working my tail off trying to make up for the hours I called in sick.

Anyway, the bummer of it all is that this weekend is the Little Rock Marathon. I had switched my entry to the half near the end of the year because I was kidding myself if I thought I was going to be ready for the full mary. After having some rocky starts in my training, I had lowered my expectations and just hoped for a fun run/walk and wasn't going to stress about my time. Now, I'm not even sure how well I could walk the damn thing. The last thing I need is something to show me how much I suck, so I've decided to just forgo the whole thing and take the opportunity to cheer BJ for his first half-mary. I've also signed up to volunteer the Expo and give a little back to the running community.

I'm really excited for BJ! He hasn't completely stuck to his training, but overall he has done well. He ran a 15K race two weeks back which was the farthest he had ever run, and he did it with quite a bit of ease which really surprised him. Instead of feeling like a failure for not taking part, I'm going to be happy that I can have the chance to really support him in his first long distance race, as well as cheer on the other runners.

There's always next year to look forward to because Little Rock really puts on one hell of a race and their medals are second to none!!

Is there a doctor or nurse in the room???

2008-02-24T16:42:00.002-06:00

I'm currently at the airport in St Louis waiting for my flight home after a busy weekend of Pi Phi Leadership training. I recently assumed the position of advisory committee chairperson so I am now advising the chapter president which puts me in a very different leadership role. I was very excited about the opportunity to receive training as well as network with other Pi Phi advisers from across the country. It is always exciting to look around and see the incredible diversity amongst our advisers as well as our collegiate presidents (who also attended). I would challenge anyone who was at that hotel to say that we were a group of "blonde haired, blue eyed Barbies" because in our organization, those days have long been over.

I'm really excited about taking on this role because it's propelling me back into a world that I love (that of a Greek organization) and giving me an opportunity to showcase skills that I used in former careers, but haven't needed in my current profession. Another thing I have to mention, is that for those of you who have stereotypes of Greek letter organizations, I can say with complete confidence that we are advising and holding our girls to high standards in regards to their values, their grades and their service to others. The Presidents that I met were outstanding examples of young women and spoke about amazing programs that they are doing in their chapters and on their campus and I know that we are not the only Greek letter organization to emphasize these values for their young women.

So anyway, at dinner last night, one of the national officers comes to the microphone and asks, "is there a doctor or nurse in the room??" In my skirt and high heels I quickly stood up and offered my services. Sure I may be a baby nurse, but I'm well equipped to deal with any first aid or response situation - just ask BJ about the times I've made him pull over when we saw a car wreck on the road.

Luckily, there was no blood, gore or heart attacks, just two sick collegians far from home and not knowing what to do. After assessing their symptoms and realizing that they were in fact not needing any immediate medical attention, I sent them back to their rooms with instructions to take some Advil, drink plenty of fluids and get some sleep. It's always nice to provide some comfort and assistance when I can, hone those motherly skills, and basically rack up some brownie points for heaven :)

Speed Thee My Arrow

2008-02-18T15:46:00.006-06:00

You're probably thinking .... "Wow has Jenn fallen off the face of the earth??? Been abducted by aliens??"

I'm sorry my friends, the answer is no - Jenn just has been having a hard time getting back to normal after being sick. I'm FINALLY feeling better and getting caught up on housework, real work and my life. I really hate being sick and all my love to BJ who has been so sweet and caring!! You ROCK!

For my first non-sick post, it's time to unleash a deep, dark secret that only a few of my friends are privy to. I know that some of you will be shocked ... but the truth is ...
I am a sorority girl.

Not your typical sorority girl of course, I mean I rushed in my Doc Martens for goodness sakes!! I pledged Pi Beta Phi back at Illinois State in '93. They were an amazingly diverse group of women, everything from the typical blonde cheerleader type, to the wanna be hippy chics, to the average, everyday college student. Our house wasn't one that fit into a stereotype which was something that I really liked about being a member. My best friends from college to this day are my Pi Phi sisters, and the connection even led to my becoming excellent friends with fellow blogger JCR years after college when we were both in Colorado - despite the fact that we never hung out while in school.

Not only am I a sorority type, but 15 years later I'm still involved. I have volunteered as an alumnae advisor at the University of Colorado, the University of Missouri and now the University of Arkansas-Little Rock. I really have a great time working with the college age women, and my time at the three schools has only reinforced the idea that there is no "typical" sorority or sorority girl.

Yesterday, I decided it was time for the girls of Arkansas Beta to have a tradition from my chapter, arrow sugar cookies with pink icing. I have my cool new KitchenAide mixer, my old arrow cookie cutter that I've been using as a Christmas ornament since college, and three tubs of pink vanilla icing!! I even pulled down one of my old Pi Phi sweatshirts to commemorate the occasion.

One small confession .... I've never successfully rolled out cookies. The last time I tried many years ago, I disctinctly recall being unable to get the process to work and ending up swearing A LOT - and just rolling them into balls and saying "screw it!!!"

This time however, it was quite a succeess! BJ ever so kindly assisted with the process and we had 8 dozen arrows in no time!! The girls really loved them and all in all it was a great day!

Still alive

2008-02-11T02:23:00.000-06:00

Thank you for all of the well wishers out there in blogland! I am most definitely feeling better, but I'm still not 100% yet. This thing has really kicked my butt and I feel like I'm completely off track with my running and my training. It's been very frustrating because I don't like being sick, and I don't know when I'll really feel like running again given that I still have a nasty, deep chest cough.

Oh well, I guess on the bright side I now found a local doctor so if I'm needing something in the future, I know where to go.

Yes, I went to the doctor

2008-02-06T09:20:00.000-06:00

I knew that I needed to go to a doctor at work Monday night, so I asked one of my nurse friends for her recommendation of a family practice office. They don't have any "urgent care" or "walk in" places here (which I think is weird) and I'm sure most of you know that getting care in an ER should only be attempted when you have giant, penetrating, sucking wounds or limbs falling off. The new doctor's office was able to get me in that afternoon and they took down all of my insurance and personal info over the phone so we wouldn't have to mess with it when I got there. During the day I was in more misery with temps up to 102.5 and the general inability to sit up without BJ's assistance. At the doctor's office I had to fill out an 8, yes 8, page health history form. Wow! They wanted to have me figured out by the time the doc walked in the door!!!

I got a flu screen (i.e. q-tip showed deep up inside the nares of my nose), some blood work, and a physical assessment with the determination of a respiratory infection. The nurse was convinced it was flu, but I knew it wasn't, I know hallmark flu signs and I didn't have them. The doc started me on antibiotics because my white count was high and I was having fever again and he also gave me some hydrocodone for my cough - I LOVE this doctor!!!

I will allegedly feel better in 24 - 48 hours after starting on my antibiotics. I'll let you know.

P.S. We had no tornadoes around here.

Continued Misery

2008-02-05T03:32:00.000-06:00

I just can't seem to shake this cold, flu, pneumonia, whatever the heck it is!! I haven't had a fever since Friday so I thought I was well on the road to recovery, but now it's s ettled firmly in my chest. Every breath I take causes pain in my right upper lobe, and everytime I cough, I have to splint myself to stop the stabbing pain. I've had chest colds before but this is different. Usually I have snotty head and nose and it then runs down my chest, but this time the course was so different. I've not had a very stuffy head, and my chest has just felt tight. When the stabbing pain developed in that specific part of my lung tonight, I finally realized that I might have a pneumonia. I've never had pneumonia before, I listened to my breath sounds trying to discern crackles (it's a hallmark of pneumonia) but I think I'll have to break down and actually go to a doctor.

Even though I'm a nurse, I'm not big on doctor's. I firmly believe that most sniffles are just viruses that your body needs to fight off and no antibiotics are truly going to help that. It might make you feel better to take a pill - that placebo effect, but in general most upper respiratory infections are not bacterial ... same with ear infections, and overuse of antibiotics has not resulted in virulent drug resistant strains that are quite scary.

So we'll see what happens, hopefully I can convince them to give me a chest x-ray - who cares about the copay or cost. I'm just tired of being sick.

Tasty Cake!!

2008-02-01T15:43:00.000-06:00

To answer the first question, yes I'm feeling better. My fever finally broke last night and though my temperature is normal, I still feel kindof crappy. Despite that, I had to suck it up this morning and pack for our trip to Fayetteville. One of BJ's mother's friends is hosting a shower for me on Saturday and if a complete stranger is going our of her way to have a little gathering, then I need to make the best of it. I should mention that I'm really not the shower type, as a matter of fact I was rather pleased that the type of wedding we are having (i.e. not really having one) was conducive to avoiding showers. BJ warned me early on that his mother's bridge group would want to have one and that I should, "not fight it and just go get our schwag!" So a shower in Fayetteville it is, and then on Monday a shower at BJ's work. I can't wait to see what kind of householdy goodness the next three days produce!!

Since we were going to be in NW Arkansas, we thought it would be a good time to order our cake. Despite how simple we are doing things, I insisted that BJ and I have tasty cake to eat from a real baker ... none of the grocery store crap. One of the nurses I work with turned me on to a little cake shop up in Springdale, and when we were here for Christmas we went in and bought some petit fours which were DELICIOUS!!

BJ called earlier in the week to see about meeting with the baker, but she doesn’t take appointments on Friday - he was able to sweet talk her explaining that we aren't local. He also explained that we were looking at a small cake, no big fancy cake to feed 50 people that would just get us REALLY fat! Anyway, we showed up today and the owner was as sweet as can be! She even brought our samples for us to taste which was completely unexpected ... it's not like we were spending tons of money. We ended up choosing an amazing filling called "hummingbird" which is a raspberry lemon concoction, with orange cake. It's going to be so unique and tasty! Of course the outside of the cake will be purple, with white piping and edible rhinestones. It's going to be delicious AND pretty!!

This was by far the most enjoyable part of the wedding planning, now if only my dress had an elastic waist we could eat the whole thing in one sitting :)

Thursday's Trip Down Memory Lane

2008-01-31T17:07:00.000-06:00

This trip is simple ... I will remember a time when I wasn't sick as a dog, running a 102 degree fever and in general feeling like complete crap.

ahh, those were the days!

An addict in withdrawal

2008-01-30T06:37:00.000-06:00

It's 6:30 in the morning, the day shift won't get in until 7, I'm dragging so badly I barely keep my eyes open, and I am needing my fix worse than EVER!!

Wow - you're thinking - Jenn shouldn't do meth, as a nurse she should know better!

It's not meth my friends, it's something more common, more potent, more deliciously enjoyable ... sweet nectar of caffeine. I have been an addict for many years, long before I was a night shift worker. In high school and college, soda was the route of choice. Then sometime after college I started drinking coffee, and after some miserable months of working at Starbucks - I switched to tea. At this point in my life, I get it any way I can and during the night shift I usually start "fixing" around 10 p.m.

I've never even considered giving up caffeine, or limiting it - my favorite gels are the GU with caffeine. Now however I'm accosted with reliable data from a large study clearly showing that caffeine and pregnancy don't mix.

WHOA partner, did I miss something?? (you're totally thinking I'm pregnant right?!?!?)

No, I'm not currently with spawn but despite overwhelming evidence that children make your life miserable - I do want to get knocked up at before my remaining eggs shrivel up and die. I figure that being pregnant will be stressful enough without adding in the whole now you must give up caffeine thing. I'm bound to resent my fetus before I'm a month along. So my strategy is to go ahead and make some lifestyle changes now. Besides, many folks would say that caffeine is bad for your body in general and will make me healthier to keep it out of my temple.

Yes, it's been rough. I've cut back and only allowed myself one cup of leaded hot tea or soda a night and caffeinated coffee is now a thing of the past since it's chock full of my #1 drug. (Thank god for decaf!)

It's going to be rough. I'm already experience shakes, strange cravings and the overwhelming urge to throw medical instruments at nurses working in my pod. But I will stay clean, the health of my future spawn deserves it!!

Don't you have to GET on the wagon before you fall off it???

2008-01-29T04:26:00.000-06:00

I have to admit that I haven't been a good little triathlete in training as of late, and so far I have no accomplished my immediate short term goals. I think I underestimated just how hard it would be to find the motivation to get off my ass, which has been firmly planted since around the time of our move. I'm not going to bad mouth myself, or make excuses, but I'm still gonna keep taking it one step at a time.

I have been running twice a week and did 6 miles Monday. It was one of those really enjoyable runs where the air felt crisp and I felt so invigorated when I was finished. I need to capture that moment and remind myself when I know I should go run and I just can't manage it.

Another thing that's helped (strangely enough) is my new Hot Legs running gear. The running club that belong to, appropriately called the "Hot Legs" ordered team gear months ago. I ended up getting a warm up suit, hat, short sleeved tech tee, and a singlet all emblazoned with our logo. I was so excited - especially about my cool Brooks running jacket - that it made me want to go out and run. Much the same way a cute new running skirt gets me excited!!

Given that the Little Rock half marathon is on the very near horizon, I need to consistently hit my runs. I know I can finish it - I'm not even worried about that, but it'd be nice to not embarrass myself. Also on the racing horizon, a local 15K three weeks before the half mary ... we'll consider it a supported training run with bonus t-shirt. I also just found out that there's a 10K the morning of the wedding in the little town where we're getting hitched. If BJ and I feel adequately recovered from the prior week's half marathon, we're going to do it and consider it an awesome way to start the day.

We found a gym to join, it pales in comparison to the fabulous facilities I had as a staff member of the University of Missouri, but I just gotta suck it up. As for pools, our neighborhood has a 25 yard outdoor pool three blocks away which will be great in summer, but for now I've gotta find something indoors and there aren't a lot of options here. There are two that I know of and one that's on my way home (relatively) from work so I'm thinking that will be the best option. If I'm not too tired, I can hopefully grab some laps in the mornings. There is a 50m pool at the local college, but the lap swim times are pathetic and not conducive to my schedule. So we'll see how much progress I can make in the next few weeks ... don't give up on me yet!

Thursday's Trip Down Memory Lane

2008-01-24T13:21:00.001-06:00

This will be one of those sentimental posts - you are forewarned!

For today's trip down memory lane, I started thumbing through my photos which are all crammed in boxes in chronological order (there are a LOT of them hence the need for a serious scrapbooking offensive this year). I saw this one and it made me smile so I thought I'd use it.

Most of us are lucky enough to have grandparents, and I was lucky enough as a child to have both sets of grandparents and even two sets of great-grandparents. This is me and my Grandma D. He was one of those fun grandpas because he was very active and always up to something, working in the yard or garden, fiddling in the garage or burning leaves which was my FAVORITE chore to help with. Just like gramps I loved to burn things! I remember that when he quit smoking he started chewing tobacco, Red Man in a pouch to be specific. After seeing him put that in his mouth time and time again, I finally asked it I could try some. He let me take a pinch of that nasty looking stuff and try it ... needless to say I am NOT a tobacco chewer to this day.

As for me and the army hat?? Apparently that had been my older brother's, but it became my favorite thing to wear. There are MANY pictures of me as a toddler in the army helmet , but sadly most of them would be considered kiddie porn as I'm only wearing my underwear (hey we lived on a farm and had no air conditioning!) The best are of me with the army hat and giving the black power salute - my Mom still can't explain those.

Grandpa D passed away three years ago and until he went downhill with his Alzheimer's, he still had all of his hair styled almost exactly like this picture, was in great shape, and still let us help with burning things!! We all still miss him but have great memories!

And though I don't think that Alzheimer's or dementia are any thing to laugh about, I think sometimes you have no choice but to find some humor in a situation. Now Grandpa was one to say what he thought and he was a big believer in staying fit and active, for example while in a crowd of people and seeing a heavier woman.... "Maaaan, look at that heifer over there!" Bearing this in mind, I'll never forget when we were at a family gathering and he stared at me and said "you know you've got a mustache there" and pointed to my upper lip. I immediately went to the bathroom and confirmed that like all mammals I do in fact have a slight fuzzy covering on all of my face including my upper lip, but thankfully no mustache!

Cloverfield = Take your Dramamine

2008-01-23T14:49:00.000-06:00

I meant to post this over the weekend ...

I usually don't go see scary movies because they give me nightmares. I think I'm still scarred by my parents' highly questionable decision to take me with them to see Jaws as a child. It came out when I was 2, so I'm not sure how old I actually was when I saw it. I just have vague memories of hearing that eerie music the duh dum .... duh dum... you know the one you hum when you're in the swimming pool making a shark fin out of your elbow. Anyway, I quickly learned that the music meant carnage and remember burying my face in my Dad's chest to avoid seeing anything bad. I actually was afraid to put my feet all the way down to the bottom of the bed for quite a while because I was worried a shark might eat my foot. Yes, it's completely irrational but THAT'S how a child's mind works. Did I mention that after seeing The Amityville Horror I was convinced that my brother was going to shoot us all in the middle of the night?? Of course I can't blame my parents for that one, it was on the TV at my Aunt Kaye's house and I was supposed to be in bed but I could see it from my room.

I digress, but let's just say there's a reason I have a loooonng history of not seeing scary movies.

That said, BJ has been jonesing to see Cloverfield for months -ever since the first teaser trailers came out. I was intrigued but nervous because even Blair Witch had serious ramifications for me. And when my then boyfriend jumped out at me from under the stairs in our unfinished basement, I nearly moved out right then and there.

Though I'm usually incredibly opposed to spoilers and knowing the end of a movie (JCR you know you're guilty!), in this case I went ahead and read a review to find out more about it. I determined that it was more of a disaster type of film which is one of my favorite genres!!!! ... and don't even pretend that you didn't shed a tear in Armageddon when Bruce Willis said goodbye to Liv Tyler just before he blew up the asteroid and saved Earth ... TRUE DRAMA!!

so yes, Cloverfield was awesome! Great disaster action but with a very unusual perspective. My only problem was that I've become much more sensitive to motion sickness in the past few years and a movie shot with hand held cameras - on a big screen?? Yeah, I kept having to look away because I thought I was going to puke. So be forewarned, it's filmed from the perspective of panicked people shooting a video camera in the streets of New York so it's jerky and twisty. Just take your Dramamine, eat your Junior Mints and enjoy!

Why can't I be the one to wear the pants???!!!

2008-01-23T07:59:00.000-06:00

It's no secret that I'm a independent, feminist minded kindof woman, but it's rare that I actually get on my soapbox and speak it. Well readers, I had a recent moment that irked me so I thought I'd share.

BJ and I were at the bank doing some random business and I asked to speak with an account representative. Basically I wanted to know what I would need to do to change my name (and hyphenate it) when we got married. I should preface this with the fact that I opened the account over 8 years ago when I lived in Denver. When BJ and I combined finances, we decided to use my bank therefore I added him to my long existing account and voila, joint account. When they were looking up the account to confirm some information it turns out that I am no longer the "primary" account holder, BJ is. The account info is now under his name and his social security number and I am simply the secondary clinging on person.

I asked them why this was changed given that I had originally opened the account and held it for many years in my name solely ... she couldn't answer or explain. I do specifically remember adding him to my account and signing as the primary account holder. BJ was surprised about this as well.

I can only assume that because he's THE MAN, someone somewhere in bank world decided he must be the primary person, the breadwinner, the head honcho. I know it may seem silly, but it really irritated me. So I can have my own account for years, but then once I'm married or add a man to it, I in effect lose my ownership?? I mean I know I'm still on the account and have full rights to the money in it, but there is something in the symbolism that I really don't like. Especially since on a financial level we are pretty damn even, and with a few shifts of overtime a month I'm quickly the high roller.

So thank you Bank that will go unnamed for attempting to subjugate me and reminding me that I am woman - hear me roar!

2008-01-18T08:29:00.000-06:00

Maybe having kids isn't such a good idea after all??!!??

- thanks to Obi-Wan Rob for sharing this with me and calling it "wedding advice."

Rhinestones and sparkly things!

2008-01-17T16:08:00.000-06:00

Though I am of the female persuasion I do NOT like to shop.
Matter of fact, I hate it!

Now that the wedding is looming a mere 8 weeks away, I realized that I would actually have to complete my wedding outfit. I've got the dress, veil, and shoes .... ooooo did I mention my shoes?!?!? I knew that I wanted something purple to match the accent color on my dress (not to mention, I'm not the type to wear white shoes - BORING) and I looked into getting them dyed, but the dye is not waterproof. I could only imagine it being wet or rainy and having purple feet and splotchy shoes etc. I started looking online and found some at Nordstroms that were acceptable, but didn't have the pizazz I wanted. Then I found these awesome ones from Guess? and they were even on clearance with only three sizes in stock - one of them my 8 1/2!! They are fabulous!! Total stripper heel with rhinestones! Very sexy and something I'll wear again with some fitted jeans. Damn, they're $8 cheaper than I paid, that always irks me!

Wow, 4 inch stripper heels!! You're thinking to yourself, "that's not very practical!" I respond, well that's the beauty of a planned elopement. I don't have to worry about dancing in them, walking around and greeting people all night. Basically I just need to stay aloft for my adorable BJ and if I trip and fall, surely he won't laugh ... too hard.

OK so enough about the shoes, I have all the basics but I don't have the flair. You know, the earrings, necklace etc. One of my coworkers told me about this place called Accessory City with tons of cheap rhinestone and special event jewelry. I was a little dubious but let me tell you it WAS all that. I found exactly what I wanted, something silvery, and purplely and rhinestoney and the set of necklace, bracelet and earrings cost me $10.83! I had so much money left over and burning a hole in my pocket that I shelled out $6 for a rhinestone barrette for my hair. Now don't worry, I'm not going to look all pageant queen - I am forgoing a tiara, but this is my one and only wedding so a little glitz and glamour will be a fun respite from my normal jeans and Birkenstocks. We even hired a photographer so there will be photographic evidence of Jenn all glammed up because seriously my friends and family would never believe it!!

One, two, three, four I declare a slipper War!

2008-01-15T20:30:00.001-06:00

Houston we have a problem

Here I thought I was blissfully happy, without a care in the world, having found the man of my dreams, preparing to spend the rest of my life with bluebirds of happiness chirping at my ear
And then .....

I was shocked out of my fairy tale by the appearance of

THE SLIPPERS

I can't recall the first time I saw them, I know it was before we moved into the new house and I think I saw them on a closet floor. I don't think it registered with me what they were or who they belonged to - perhaps an elderly lady who died in the house long ago left them there?

I do remember, however, the sheer abject, cringing horror that I felt in the pit of my stomach the first time I saw him wearing them. My first thought was NOOOOO my perfect husband-to-be can NOT wear these. It was a very visceral reaction of disgust. I believe my exact words were "If you ever want me to bear your child you MUST remove those."

He protested, "but my feet are cold."
To which I replied, "surely there's a better option"

The slipper war was quickly forgotten given that the weather has been so unseasonably warm and cold feet have not been a concern. It has been mentioned a time or two, generally when I see slippers at a store and think, hmmm I might actually be interested in procreating with my fiancee if he wore those.

Tonight, he again brought out the slippers much to my disgust. He honestly has no clue how absolutely hideous and ridiculous they are. With my next paycheck I'll have to buy the cute memory foam ones at The Sharper Image because $50 is worth saving our marriage and the future of the Jones line.

I welcome any and all comments - either tell me I'm being a complete witch or please for the love of all that is holy tell me that you agree that no hot 34 year old man should walk around in those!!

Ode to Jane

2008-01-14T17:15:00.001-06:00

I was so excited this morning to wake up and when I turned on the TV I found that an exciting program had just started!!

I should qualify this statement and say *exciting* to me, a complete freak when it comes to all things Jane Austen. There right in front of me was the PBS premiere of Masterpiece Theater's Persuasion!!

Even better????

The role of Sir Elliot - the somewhat evil and vain father of our heroine Anne Elliot - was played by Giles from Buffy!!! Double bonus!!

So I excitedly drank my coffee and immersed myself in a time where women who had reached the age of 27 were sadly unmarriageable .... except in the world of my beloved Jane where the intelligent though not always beautiful woman gets her well deserving man in the end.

Apparently PBS is doing a complete works of Jane Austen this month so my TV fix that has been unsatisfied due to the writer's strike can continue!!

Thursday's Trip Down Memory Lane - Band Chics are Cool!

2008-01-10T20:40:00.000-06:00

Back by popular demand - I bring you another Thursday trip down memory lane!!

I asked BJ for an idea and he quickly stated, "I believe the internet zeitgeist demands to see you in a band uniform." I knew right away that this might be troublesome, because even though I was in the marching band in junior high and all through high school (the first two years in the flag corps and the last two years as a player) I don't really have any pictures. I think the reason is because I never really wanted my Mom to show up (seriously how uncool is that?!?!) and my awesome polyester band uniform had a great hat and cape, but was sadly devoid of pockets for a camera.

The best that I can come up with is this parade picture from 7th grade (I'm the red head with the cheesy grin because I'm pretty sure my Mom was yelling something like "Hey Jennifer, look over here!")
and me in the band room with my clarinet and my friend Spooky. She played the trombone and I was always jealous because I think brass players got more action ... just an unscientific observation on my part.
So yes, I was in the band, AND I went to band camp, but I refuse to classify myself as a band geek. Mainly because I was a cool band chic. My friends and I were the ones who freshman looked up to - OK maybe they were band freshman, but they were still freshman!! I picked up the clarinet towards the end of 6th grade and played through junior high, then when I moved for high school I put it in the back of my closet. I was in marching band my freshman and sophomore years as a member of the flag corps, and when marching season ended - the band director heard the rumor that i had played the clarinet. After much coaxing he encouraged me to just sit in and play one day since I had study hall that period after marching season ended. I protested that it had been too long, I wouldn't remember anything yada yada, but I agreed to sit and play 3rd part (traditionally the easier part for a clarinet technically). I was shocked at how quickly it came back to me and by the next semester I was first chair (the first player) - though to be truthful there were only three clarinetists so it's not THAT impressive.

I loved my time playing in the band and it was a nice respite from my day of college prep courses of physics, chemistry, pre-calculus and the like. When I graduated high school, I left my clarinet playing behind. I still have it in my closet and one of these days maybe I'll pick it up again and find some community band group to play with for fun. Who knows??

For now, this cool band chic is in retirement.

Let's Get Ready to Race!!!

2008-01-07T22:46:00.000-06:00

It finally occurred to me that if I'm going to actually DO a triathlon this year, it will require my getting on a bike and jumping in a pool. In the past, I found the best way to motivate myself is to find a goal race, make a plan and then do my best to stick to it (or in general to not deviate so far as to injure myself!!)

I did actually go for a run yesterday .... though I do use the term "run" loosely. Even though I was ridiculously slow, I need to remind myself how quickly I can get back in shape if I just put forth the effort. I really do enjoy running, but nothing has been as fun and challenging for me as triathlon. I also think it keeps me in better shape because it forces me to cross train and get outside of the box.

With that in mind, I was looking at some tentative plans for races. I have already promised my old college roomie Liz that I would do a women's tri in the Chicago area with her this summer. We're thinking either the Danskin Chicagoland (which was the goal race that started my quest way back in 2006) or the Suburu Women's Tri Series in Naperville. Both are large women's only events and based on my experience at Danskin and reading the forums and race reports on Beginner Triathlete, it sounds like the Naperville race is better organized. I have to say I really like doing women's only races, there's just a vibe that makes it so rewarding.

So for 2008, here are some potential things on the tri list ...

Tri Little Rock Super Sprint 6/1
Suburu Women's Tri Naperville, IL June
or
Danskin Chicago 7/13
Iron Girl Texas Sprint Tri, Dallas 7/20
Degray Lake Sprint, Arkadelphia, AR 8/17

As for running events, I'm already committed to the Little Rock half-marathon on
3/2. ... Yes, I had registered for the marathon but there's no way in hell I'll be in shape to safely complete the full. Don't give me grief!!

I'd also like to do a trail race sometime this year - there's a 20K not too far away from here on 3/16, but that time frame may not work with Little Rock, my wedding etc. I'm sure I could find some sort of race - maybe in the fall??

So my goals for this week?

1. Run THREE times
2. Put my bike on the trainer and ride it ONCE (you gotta start somewhere)
3. Visit the two public pools convenient to work and join one
4. Visit a gym and look into joining. I need to STRENGTH train!

I'll update you on my progress on Monday

Everybody's Doing It

2008-01-03T12:08:00.000-06:00

I'm feeling the pressure, I mean everybody's doing it ... making resolutions that is. I'm usually opposed to the concept of a New Year's resolution much in the same way that I was opposed to giving up something for Lent. I don't think you can better yourself with guilt and I think most New Year's and Lenten changes go by the wayside in a matter of weeks. Despite this preconceived tendency to dislike the process, I suppose the beginning of the year is as good a time as any to take stock of where I've come and where I'd like to go.

Let's Start with the Accomplishments of 2007 (isn't it better to start with the positive?!?!)

I ran the Colorado Colfax Half-Marathon with piss-poor training and after living at altitude for only two weeks and still bettered my prior PR by over 10 minutes!!
I bought a sensible new car! ... OK maybe not an accomplishment but it's the first time in my life I've been able to afford a brand new car!
I improved my 5K time by 4 & 1/2 minutes (so that technically means I'm faster right?!?!)
I developed a budget and debt elimination plan - and it's ACTUALLY working
I found the love of my life and got engaged
We bought our first house which means I now actually have equity in something!!!!
I maintained my weight all year

Now let's think about things I'd like to tackle in 2008. I want to treat this as a goal list, not something to beat myself up about if I don't accomplish them.

I need to start running consistently again. I feel better and I have more energy when I train. I'd like to improve my half-marathon PR and strive for 2:30 this year.
Weight training was my friend! I'd like to join a gym and get strong again following the workouts designed by Cindy my Mizzou personal trainer.
Triathlon was so fun for me! I miss it! I'm going to start cross-training and I plan to complete at least two sprint distance tris this year. Maybe an all women's race as well as a local Arkansas event? I have no delusions of grandeur, I just want to finish them.
I really want to scrapbook!! I have tons of pictures in boxes and supplies that JCR helped me purchase, but I've been afraid to start.
I'd like to eat out less and eat healthier. I'm so bad about going hours on end without food, I need to eat breakfast, have sensible snacks and actually shop so that we have groceries in the house.

Doesn't that seem like a good list of goals to start with? There are a few personal things I have in mind as well that I don't feel like sharing with the blog'osphere, but all in all, I have plenty to work on.

Peace in 2008

2008-01-02T21:25:00.000-06:00

Doesn't the song go - let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me?

Maybe it's not me, but clearly my household is feeling the love. I don't know if it's the arrival of winter cold or the thawing of months held jealousy, but we've caught Oakley and Cleo cozied up in the dog bed together twice! As a dog parent, there's nothing better than seeing your kids get along, especially after such a rocky start. I felt guilty about moving in with BJ and upsetting Cleo's life with so many changes after being the apple of her Daddy's eye for many years, but I really think she's a happier dog now. Seeing how her and Oakley have grown to love each other has just been awesome.

Maybe I'm just one of those crazy dog people, but I do honestly love my dogs like children. I can't even imagine how I'll feel about human children when they finally make their appearance. I just hope that the dogs will accept whatever changes may come and we'll continue in our happy family of furry and not so furry critters!

Now if only this peace could spread to other parts of the world, what a wonderful place it would be.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T19:50:00.000-06:00

This will be short and sweet because I worked last night (nothing says Happy New Year like drinking a styrofoam cup of sparkling apple juice at midnight while your 900 gm patient tries to pull out his breathing tube!!) and I'm working tonight.

So bottom line, 2007 started roughly but ended well. I can't wait to see what treasures 2008 has in store for me!!

oh yeah, and GO TIGERS!!!!

-and to answer your question, yes there was a bit of pre-Bowl gamesmanship in the house ... but in the end, I resisted the tempation to gloat and simply said, "I'm sorry your team lost." See, I have become a better person in 2007!

It's a merry belated Christmas!

2007-12-28T17:31:00.000-06:00

Twas the night before Christmas
and in the Arkansas fog
not a creature was stirring,
not even a dog.

The stockings were filled
with plush squeaky toys
that delighted the dogs
and filled rooms with noise.

I needed my coffee
there was no caffeine in sight
Poor Jenn hates the morning
cause she stays up all night.

We opened our presents
stacked under the tree
and examined them all
as we smiled with glee.

Then we piled up the wrappings,
to the trash they did go
and since it's Little Rock Christmas
I sure missed the snow.

The pictures were downloaded
to the desktop with care
and I posted them here
so my blog readers could share!

Yes, I know it's the 28th, but this morning was our family christmas. I worked nights all this week and I just couldn't imagine it being a "Christmas" without getting out of bed in the morning and opening gifts. BJ and I both did quite well with Santa this year which begs the question - how good are his sources for determining naughty and nice? Not to incriminate myself ... I'm just saying.

We all had stockings on the mantle, but all I mean us and the three dogs. For their Christmas breakfast, they each got a special canned dish as opposed to their normal kibble as well as a new toy in their stocking. Each dog took his/her toy and did their typical thing.

Oakley just held his in his mouth for hours
Cleo hoarded her's in her crate
and Tosca killed her's as quickly as possible.
The fur carnage will undoubtably be found in the carpet for days.

Of course the dogs weren't the only ones getting to play, we got some fun things as well. Some of the highlights include my furry dog slippers, BJ's new back massager, clothes for the both of us, candy, and a pretty red Kitchen Aide stand mixer!! (We've already used it to make cookies we were so excited to have it.) To see the rest of my album, click here. When it's all said and done, I feel that I've been very blessed this year by my family - including all the new additions!! - and my friends. It's been a very Merry Christmas indeed.

Happy Holidays to Everyone :)

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T17:21:00.000-06:00

Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings!

Can you name the movie? Come on, it's Christmas - it's almost a gimme!!! :)

I'm working nights all through the holiday, but I got up early this afternoon and BJ and I lounged on the couch and watched our TIVO'ed version of It's a Wonderful Life before I had to get ready for work. Nothing says Christmas to me like watching that wonderful, nostalgic, Frank Capra classic.

The ending reminded me of an excellent SNL sketch back from the
days of Dana Carvey, Dennis Miller and Phil Hartman. Merry Christmas to everyone and please enjoy the "lost" ending to It's a Wonderful Life!!!

Evil Genius Christmas

2007-12-22T21:53:00.001-06:00

This is completely, utterly bogarted from JJM's blog, but I HAD to share! If only I had the money, I would totally send this to someone (one possible victim who would love the sheer genius is my cousin Travis). You've got to check out this ebay auction, it's the best thing I've seen in a while!

In traditional Jenn fashion, I've waited until the last possible minute to shop. This year my excuse is that we moved right before Thanksgiving and have spent a RIDICULOUS amount of money since moving. I kept wanting to wait until the next paycheck ... then all of a sudden realized there are no more paychecks. This weekend I'm at the in-laws to be in Fayetteville and BJ and I were quite pleased that it was relatively uncrowded at the new outdoor mall in Rogers. We've managed to finish all of our shopping - well WE have but I haven't. I still haven't got BJ anything, but in my defense we're not celebrating until the 28th and I'm thinking my money will go so much farther if I wait until the day after Christmas!

Job Woes

2007-12-19T15:01:00.000-06:00

Sorry folks but today is a day that I have to vent.
As a travel nurse, one of the benefits is that in general I don't get too involved in the local politics of a hospital, the staff vs. management conflicts, day shift vs. night shift, physician vs. nurse ... basically the nitty gritty that you are invested in when you are a staff member and that's *your* unit. I've worked at places that gave excellent care, places that the staff were awesome and friendly, and places that were downright scary (please for the love of god don't EVER take your child there!) with evil co-workers. As a traveler, I always have known that after my 13 week contract - I decide in the words of the famous song by The Clash "should I stay or should I go?" I had a list of places I wanted to see, and from talking to other travelers, recommendations of great hospitals to work for.

Now I'm in Arkansas ... and I'm getting married.

It completely changes the dynamic of my career.

When I started traveling, I was getting burned out on NICU (neonatal or newborn intensive care) and I thought that traveling would give me a fresh perspective. Most of my burnout was related to the environment in the unit where I was working - a very patriarchal unit with no autonomy for the nursing staff, and a very ineffective nurse administrator. Traveling really has been an awesome experience because I've learned a lot, incorporated new skills into my practice, and recovered some of the joy I have for taking care of my patients. When I get the chance to help a new parent learn how to take care of their baby, or am the first to sit down and actually explain - in words they understand - what is going on with their critically ill child, I can tell that I'm making a positive impact.

My current problem is that now I know I'm stuck here. Don't get me wrong, as far as personal life goes - I've never been happier. But no matter how hard I've tried in the past, I have a difficult time seeing my work as just a job to pay the bills. I am passionate about what I do and why I do it. Without going into details, we'll just say that my current assignment causes a lot of frustration. There are times where I'm able to just let it go and spend my 36 hours a week giving the best care that I can to my patients and ignoring the issues around me. Then there are times where all of the politics creep in, and I get frustrated by having zero autonomy and being treated like an idiot by the medical staff. If I were still just traveling, I'd be looking at the end date of my contract and thinking ... hmmmm, where to next? Now I'm geographically limited and even more limited by being in such a specialized field .

So I'll do my best to accept the status quo for the time being, but I'm sure one of these days I'll get myself into trouble, because when you know what's right, what's wrong and what's good practice - it's hard to just sit by.

Oooo, Pretty Lights!

2007-12-17T12:36:00.000-06:00

Is it just me or has Christmas really creeped up on us? I kept feeling like I had TONS of time for shopping and all of a sudden I realize that it's next week - YIKES! Of course I'm working all through the holiday - scheduled for night shifts on Christmas Eve, Christmas, and the night after. In lieu of that, BJ and I are celebrating after my three shifts so that I can actually enjoy it without being bone tired and needing to sleep all day.

This weekend we got in the holiday spirit by traveling down to Hot Springs to see the light display at Garvan Woodland Gardens. It was perfect weather for it, a nice wintry chill but no wind. We have been there before, but it was very cool to walk around and see all of the amazing lights wrapped around the landscape. They even had marshmallow roasting (they're always best if burned in my opinion) and hot chocolate and cider. Afterwards we drove through downtown Hot Springs - the lights there were anticlimactic after Garvan - then headed home and made microwave smores. The roasted marshmallows put a taste in my head that had to be fulfilled! Nothing is better than an almost exploding gooey marshmallow from the microwave ... I swear the irradiation make them even better!!

If you want to see the rest of the light pics, click here

Just a happy girl

2007-12-11T19:52:00.000-06:00

It was foggy and overcast most of the day, it's two weeks to Christmas and so warm that I'm wearing a t-shirt and flip flops, our icicle lights just can't manage to make their way onto our rooftop, I haven't bought one present yet, and BJ killed a ginormous brown recluse spider in our garage yesterday and now I'm fearing an invasion.

Despite all this, as I as lounging on the couch early this evening next to my love, I realized that I'm more happy and content than I've ever been ... and quite simply - life is good.

(Here's a favorite pic I don't think I've ever posted)

mmmmmm .... cookies!

2007-12-08T16:07:00.000-06:00

I'm sure I've mentioned at least once that I'm not much of a cook or baker or candlestick maker. What can I say? I never aspired to be the "little lady" or a stay at home type so I ignored Womanly Duties 101 in college. Despite this fact, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to take part in a holiday cookie exchange. I mean cookie goodness and an opportunity to socialize in my adopted home town with someone other than BJ? What's not to love.

**And to clarify, I thoroughly enjoy spending time with BJ, but I've been here four months and have had no girl time since I really haven't made any of my own friends yet. Some of BJ's friends and spouses are kind enough to tolerate me - but given my crazy night shift schedule and my overall terrifying fear of socializing with strangers, it makes it hard to meet new people. **

So given my shortcomings in the kitchen and the need for six dozen cookies, I stuck with what I know best - no bake cookies. This picture makes it look like I hardly took any, but this was the second tub and wasn't filled. They're a recipe from my great-grandma Sophronia that I've made a few times before and in my opinion taste fabulous! Even though they're not baked they actually are rather labor intensive. I was hoping that BJ would help with the process, but alas he was snoring on the couch when the cookie laboring was needed.

Though I was tempted to say "Screw you" when he asked for some of the cookie bootie, there really is no way that I could eat a whole bucket full of cookies on my own without injuring myself in some fashion.

And even though it was a "ladies" kindof outing, BJ came along because he's good friends with the esteemed hostess and her charming other half . He regaled BJ with tales of how awesome it is to have a brand new MacBook Pro and later on when the guests left, they showed their true ages. Just goes to show - simple minds, simple pleasures which is why I love him so much :)

Lazy Days

2007-12-07T13:51:00.000-06:00

I know I missed Thursday's trip down memory lane, but it was towards the end of three shifts in a row, and any nurse can attest to the fact that doing three 12 hours shifts back to back really sucks away your life. It's basically a matter of work, drive and sleep - and when you're on the night shift, it seems even worse. So I'll get it at it next week.

Today I'm in that completely lethargic mode that you have when you FINALLY have a day off. I got home about 7:50 a.m. this morning, hit the couch and then slept for about five hours and am still trying to wake up so that I can go be a productive member of society. I have stamps to buy, Christmas cookies to make, errands to run and all I can think about is curling up in my jammie pants on the couch and vegging out the rest of the day. It's overcast and has been raining outside which doesn't help the matter.

But I will resist the sloth!! I will actually put on real clothes and leave the house. For those not familiar, it has happened that I've been off a full two days and never once put on real clothes - I mean I do change my jammies and sweats - it's not like I'm hillbilly! but two full days can go by without me even leaving the house. That's the kind of exhaustion and anti-sociability that comes from saving lives. Or maybe I'm just a lazy ass?!?!?!

off I go ..

I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!

2007-12-04T10:31:00.000-06:00

You know how sometimes I'm a vain blogger talking only about me, me, me?? ... though in retrospect isn't what most bloggers do? Write about their lives and their interests as a way to avoid irritating all of their friends and co-workers with banter that they don't care about?? It gives you an outlet to brag and expound and people only have to read it if they're interested.

With that in mind, I'm not going to feel guilty at all about this post ... Look at us, aren't we pretty?!?!? :)

We just got our pictures from our engagement photo shoot and I am SO HAPPY with how they turned out! Since this is my first (and last) engagement, I wasn't really sure what to expect. I've seen some that were clearly done in the Sears Portrait studio and have that stiff, formal look which is totally NOT me - or us for that matter.

We were very blessed that BJ has a good friend who is a full-time junior high teacher and part-time fabulous photographer! She was kind enough to offer to shoot these as a wedding gift and when asking us what we wanted, we just knew that we wanted it outdoors with Fall colors around.

She suggested the train cars which are down by the Arkansas River at the Big Dam Bridge, a place we are very familiar with since we run the trail there frequently.

It was very surreal looking at these pictures because I normally hate the way I look, especially on film. A few weeks back I posted a snapshot that I hated so much, it spurred me on to a weight loss and fitness transformation. When I saw these, all I could think was, "Wow, those make me look like I'm really hot!" I still don't believe I'm hot, or think it when I look in the mirror - but damn I LOVE these pictures! If you haven't already been bored to tears by all the ones I threw in this post, you can see more here . (broken link has been fixed ... sorry!)

and to not be soooo vain, I think BJ is handsome and adorable and sexy as well!!

A HUGE shout out to Amy Cary of Amy Cary Photography!! She does all types of portraits, engagement, family, children, babies, bridal - is awesome, sweet and very reasonably priced. If you're in the Little Rock metro area and interested, the link to her website is here.

Jingle Bell Rock!

2007-12-02T21:35:00.000-06:00

You might be thinking, "Wow, Jenn hasn't blogged about running lately. I wonder how her training is coming?" Well the short answer is that my training has been supplanted by unpacking, decorating and all other sorts of working around the new house. I'm sure it's not the smartest thing to take two weeks off, but it's just the way it's happened so no point in going on about it.

Yesterday, BJ and I participated in the Jingle Bell Run for Arthritis which is a national series of 5K events. I had signed up for it last year when I was living in Denver, but it was ridiculously cold and I had worked the night before so I skipped it. This time around, it was about 45 degrees and sunny when we left the house and by the end of the race I was wishing I hadn't worn long sleeves it was so warm! Since I hadn't been running lately I didn't approach it as a race. I went no watch, no heart rate monitor and in the end no timing chip (I lost it somewhere between my warm up run and the start of the race ... stupid zip ties!) I just wanted to go for a run, breathe the cool air and enjoy the atmosphere! Since I had no watch I had no clue how fast I was going, and I was actually shocked when I brought it in at just under 34 minutes on the finish clock. To be honest, I was going pretty slow and I didn't feel like running - if BJ hadn't been registered as well I would have stayed home.

I'm glad I went though, it was a pretty fun event with lots of costumes, santa hats and reindeer antlers. It was also one of the few family friendly races that welcomed jogging strollers and dogs. I didn't run in the hat because it's a little too loose, but we did have jingle bells on our shoes and my pony tail holders. So it was 3.1 miles of giddy up jingle horse pick up your feet, jingle around the clock. Mix and a mingle in the jingling feet, that's the jingle bell rock!

Thursday's Trip Down Memory Lane

2007-11-29T17:44:00.001-06:00

In keeping with the theme of Dancing week - here is a shot of your very own hot, hip, dancing blogger!!

In my hometown, all of the cool girls went to Marge and Becky's Dance Studio for the main purpose of learning tumbling. Well I couldn't tumble worth a sh*t, I think I was finally doing back bends around the time that the rest of my age group were mastering back flips. Of course I blame my parents, their genetic legacy produced a highly inflexible child, a point noted by my personal trainer when she tried to test my flexibility and I didn't even register on the little bend over this way and move this little thingee test. Anyway, though I couldn't tumble, I was one hell of a jazz dancer!! The majority of the class hour was devoted to tumbling with the last 15 minutes or so of dance. I really took to it and in retrospect I wish there had been some way to nurture that, but in a town of 750, there aren't a lot of options.

This recital was when I was 9 and the theme was country and western. We did a rousing tumbling routine to "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" and then a jazz dance to some other tune I can't recall. This was my last year of training at Marge and Becky's as I started to become embarrassed at my lack of talent in tumbling and moved on to other things I sucked at, like soccer.

Sweet Victory!!

2007-11-28T10:24:00.000-06:00

The universe listened and Marie's butt was booted at the beginning of the show!! My cries of joy actually scared the dogs, but in the end if was the BEST SEASON EVER!!

Give the Mirror Ball to the REAL Dancers!

2007-11-27T14:36:00.000-06:00

I'm a Dancing freak!! That's all there is to say about it!
I've been watching Dancing with the Stars since the middle of the first season and it's been amazing to see how much the celebrities have raised the bar. This season has been fantastic and has brought out a great deal of passion in this television watcher. While screaming at the TV one night I finally understood BJ's devotion to Razorback football, especially as I painfully yell and boo when craptastic celebrities get voted on past far superior dancers.

Now I'm dealing with a finale of two amazing celebrity dancers and one completely pathetic camera hog who really can't dance. If you're a fan of Marie Osmond and her pitiful attempts at dancing, I'm really sorry ... nah, I'm not 'cuz she SUCKS!! Now I'll admit that she's far better than some of the finalists in say season one or two, but compared to the talent this season??? She's a has been. Despite the fact that I *may* have once owned a Donnie and Marie doll set in the mid 70s and a Donnie and Marie soundstage, I do NOT appreciate her presence in the finals. Sidenote: as I recall the Donnie doll had an M-80 shoved down his gullet during a particularly exciting fireworks war at the farm when we dredged toys from the attic during one particularly awesome Fourth of July brought to us by my bachelor uncles and their truckload of illegal fireworks. I believe that was also the day that we built Lincoln Log forts and took turns shelling them with roman candles and various incendiary devices. I think I was about 8 or 9 at the time .... ahhh memories of childhood that are NOT supported by the Consumer Product Safety Commission ... but I digress. If Marie Osmond wins tonight - honestly I can't even think about it because it makes me sick, literally SICK.

On the bright side, I have LOVED Helio and Julianne from the first week, and Mel and Maks quickly grew on me as well. They have been my two favorites so I'm psyched to see them in the finals and if there is any justice in the world, one of them will proudly hoist the mirror ball trophy tonight.

Random thoughts ...

2007-11-26T12:10:00.001-06:00

First of all, my home state is NOT pronounced "Illi noise" - the "s" is silent!! I was just watching the local news and someone pronounced it wrong and it irritated me.

Second, GO TIGERS!! My Missouri Tigers are now ranked #1 after a resounding victory over Kansas! Hmmm, fried Jayhawk anyone?

BJ was very proud of me given that I watched the game AND actually understood a good portion of it. We did have to occasionally pause so he could point out what was going on around the line of scrimmage (you mean the offensive linemen and the defensive linemen are different players?!?!) and I learned a few new things like what the safety does and how overtimes work. I did fall asleep in the 4th quarter, but in my defense I had gotten off work at 7:30 a.m. and just slept a few hours that day.

Third random thought, I am so sick of credit card fraud. I had a really bad incident about 10 years ago when my wallet was pickpocketed out of my purse by someone I *thought* I had bumped into, and they charged over $10,000 on my cards at Best Buy and Circuit City within 2 hours. They had my driver's license and opened up accounts in my name at several stores and continued to try to buy things for several months. It was a flippin' mess! Earlier this year, someone used my Citibank card number to charge $300 of foreign purchases in Germany, and now this weekend apparently my debit card number was compromised. Of course in this case they used it to buy some things AND pay off a T-Mobile bill so I'm hoping the culprit is tracked down. At least when my wallet was stolen a decade ago, I KNEW that there was illicit activity going on. In both of my recent cases, the cards have been in my possession all along. I know that I'm not going to be responsible for paying, but somewhere, someone is having to eat these costs.

Fourth, I need to pass along a miraculous discovery! I'll never have to scrub a toilet again!!! Momma K works in the plumbing industry and she introduced us to the Sparkle and Clean device that you attach to your tank. Apparently those bleach tablets that you drop in the tank are BAD BAD BAD and they corrode out the flushing mechanism. This device adds the bleach to the water in the bowl only so it's not bad for your toilet. My toilet has sparkled this past week, it's the best thing ever!!! I can only comment on the bleach one (which my Mom uses as well) - don't know about the blue ones, but you can get them at any home improvement store.

Fifth, I had posted a while back that I wasn't sure about my wedding dress?? Well I tried it on for my Mom when she was here and we both LOVE it!! I think the purple rocks!! And since we're eloping and it won't be seen amongst our general acquaintance in person, the link here has a few sneak peeks!!

Last random thought, I have the cutest damn dogs in the world! BJ's Mom stayed over last night for a quick visit and the dogs thought it was the best thing ever. As she was leaving this morning, they sadly looked out the door....

Yes I love my Mom!

2007-11-24T17:06:00.002-06:00

I had briefly mentioned before that Momma K was coming to town and she had the distinction of being our first house guest! Since I was working all during the Thanksgiving holiday, she came out early and we had our holiday a few days early. She's not much for driving and my home town is about 7 and 1/2 hours away, so she decided to Amtrak it. At about 3:30 a.m. on Saturday morning she arrived for her first trip to Little Rock! We did some of the obvious things like went downtown to the River Market, drove past the Clinton Library ("that looks like a big trailer" - Momma K), went out for catfish and fried pickles, headed to the river and the Big Dam Bridge, visited the local tea shop which is fabulous and got stuck in Razorback football traffic ... though that was an accident.

One of her favorite things was her visit to the Bath Junkie. It's a Fayetteville, AR based bath product company and they have the best salt scrubs I've EVER found. The best part is they mix it up individually when you buy it and you get to choose the scents AND the color. I knew Mom would love it and she used her scrub and spray on lotion (called Body Dessert) pretty much every day she was here.

I think BJ was most appreciative of her cooking lessons. I'm a little apprehensive when I'm in the kitchen because I just haven't spent much time there in the past. So we took the opportunity to cook several meals together and I FINALLY uncovered the secret to cooking eggs ... hint don't have the skillet so damn hot! When it comes to Thanksgiving dinner, that's one area where I do have experience. I've hosted Thanksgiving on more than one occasion and can whip out a turkey, homemade stuffing, and mashed potatoes and gravy like nobody's business. I'm not a fan of pumpkin pie (I was thinking more of chocolate cheesecake) but BJ insisted and I made excellent use of my Uncle Dave's impossibly easy pumpkin pie recipe. Overall the meal turned out great and Mom and I had lots of bonding time in the kitchen ... albeit about two decades late since I had NO interest when I was growing up.

Momma K loved the house and quickly settled into our guest room and didn't complain a bit about the waterbed currently in there (it belonged to BJ and it was a condition of our living together .... NO WATERBED in our room!) The dogs always love it when "Grandma" visits and everyone was in good spirits. We were sad to see her go and sadly I haven't cooked since :(

Thursday's Trip Down Memory Lane

2007-11-21T22:45:00.000-06:00

I am a true child of the 80s and I have such an endearing fondness for the music, TV and pop culture of that era. There's nothing I love more than catching a rerun of an awesome 80s movie on TBS, you know one of those movies that you saw so many times that you can quote it as if you had the script memorized.

For me, the best examples of that would be the John Hughes oeuvre. As an adolescent red head who HATED my red hair, Molly Ringwald was my hero (though interestingly enough she's naturally brunette - though I didn't know it at the time).

While browsing my important news sites ... you know things like People, E! online, Entertainment Weekly etc. I came across this article debating which was the best John Hughes movie. Having seen all of them multiple times, I found this quite interesting. I looked him up on imdb and his resume as writer, director and/or producer is staggering!! Beyond the obvious Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink and Sixteen Candles, he was involved with Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Weird Science, Planes Trains and Automobiles, Vacation, Christmas Vacation, Mr. Mom, Uncle Buck ... all movies that I've seen and enjoyed.

Nothing takes me back to my youth more than seeing one of those pivotal movies that I so identified with as an adolescent. I HAD a crush on my own high school version of Jake Ryan, wanted to dance like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing, felt the need - the need- for speed like Maverick and Goose, believed I could be crucial in the fundraiser to save Ferris, and truly believed that Buttercup and Westley were meant for each other. My love of movies started in the 80s and continues to this day, and no matter how cheesy, how dated, I can't not watch these shows when I catch them on cable.

BTW, if you're wondering where I stand on the greatest John Hughes movie debate ... just check out the shirt I'm wearing here :)

Fun with the new house!!

2007-11-19T13:44:00.000-06:00

So despite our little set backs in the new home .... did I mention the leaking gas line to the fireplace?? ... I LOVE being a homeowner! Of course we haven't gotten completely unpacked, but it definitely looks settled in already.

BJ painted our boring white door a brilliant shade of red that looks fabulous! It was our way of saying "hey neighborhood, we're here!"

I should mention that it's really nice having a handy kindof partner. He's been hard at work changing out the deadbolts, putting a keypad entry mechanism on the front door, running cables in the attic to setup our wireless home network and home theater system, and of course the pièce de résistance - mounting the new plasma screen on the wall above the fireplace. Did I ever mention that we had to get rid of the 56 inch big screen? Of course it hurt BJ far more than it hurt me, but given the setup of the living room there was no place to put the massive monument to sloth. He sold it to a co-worker and had to begrudgingly downsize to the 42 inch plasma. Though after mounting it and sitting on the couch, he did agree that anything larger would have been impractical based on the size of the room.

The flow of cash out of my checking account and to places like Lowe's, Target and Bed Bath and Beyond continues :) It's amazing how a new shower curtain, a few rugs and a cute accent towel can suddenly camouflage a hideous 1980s era bathroom.

Did I mention our fabulous yard?? It's probably more weeds than grass but it has so much potential! It's going to be a challenge to figure out how to landscape given the massive trees in the area. When the satellite guy drove out he basically said, "Yeah this isn't going to work." When he was on the phone with Dish trying to tell them that we needed to cancel our service because there was no way to point to the satellites he told them, "it's so wooded I'm expecting Robin Hood to make an appearance at any moment."

Hopefully in a few weeks we'll be able to get our cars in the garage and be able to actually find the specific item of clothing we're looking for!

Home Update

2007-11-14T12:55:00.000-06:00

It's been a busy week hence the lack of blogging. I suppose it's time for an update as I await the plumber's arrival. Plumber you say?? Yes, apparently we do actually have some sort of a water leak in the wall behind the stove. After seeing the lovely puddle return under the cabinets yesterday we realized that this was no isolated incident. Luckily we have this wonderful thing called a "home warranty" so we'll owe the plumber $45 once he arrives and the warranty will cover up to $1000 of plumbing repairs (please oh please don't be any more!). I'm guessing that there will be a nice hole cut in the wall but they can do it from the other side of the kitchen which is the laundry room! And I could care less is I have unfinished drywall in there.

So other than the unplanned leak, the move has gone rather smoothly. Of course we didn't have everything packed, but a good 90% of it. I think I'll have one more load of miscellaneous crap to put in my car and then we can close the chapter on "M" Street. It took the movers 5 hours to do the task and regardless of how much it cost it was WORTH EVERY PENNY! The only thing I noticed was a ding out of the corner of one of my bedroom dresser drawers, but I'm sure the damage would have been worse, not just physically but to my own psyche if we had attempted to move ourselves.

There are of course things I'll be looking forward to upgrading in the new house - the late 1970s era bathrooms will one day have to go - but overall it's wonderful! It'll be days before we have things unpacked, but I can already see it falling into place. We went to Lowe's last night and picked up new deadbolts and a cool looking front doorknob, as well as a keypad entry for the front door. I'm beginning to love my little trips there, even if they all do seem to cost an arm and a leg.

Did I mention that Momma K (my Mom) is visiting this weekend? It will be her first trip to Little Rock and the first extended time she gets to spend with BJ. I'm thinking that we'll all have a blast!!

UGH!

2007-11-11T17:14:00.000-06:00

We showed up to the new house this morning planning on doing a few quick things, heading back to the old place to pack, and then getting our engagement shots done later in the day. Well that was derailed when we arrived to find a pool of water on the kitchen floor!!!

After some sleuthing on our part, our hypothesis is that the seller's had a water accident when moving their washer and though they cleaned it up in the laundry room, some water escaped and was living under our kitchen cabinets, only to seep out from beneath the caulking a day later. When we pulled the caulk and baseboards out of the kitchen we found nice pools of water. We soaked it up as best as we could and now have a heater blowing on the concrete subfloor. Some water also rolled under the parquet flooring between the kitchen and dining room so we mopped that up as well.

We're *hoping* that we were right and it's just pooled water that was hanging out for a few days trapped by all of the caulked baseboards as opposed to an ongoing leak. I guess we'll see tomorrow when we go back to either a dried out subfloor or another pool :(