Name that blog!

I'm still stuck on what to name my blog and in what direction to take it. My darling husband suggested something to the effect of "Operation Make Jenn No Longer a Fat Slob" or whatever similar wording I used a few posts ago.

Somehow that just doesn't have a nice ring to it.

I guess I could call it "Bitch and Moan" since that seems to be about all I do these days. Or better yet, "Lots of Worthless Excuses" since I seem to have a lot of those.

Hmmm, something to muse upon as I ponder my excessively flabby belly ....

HELP!!!!

People I'm dying here! It's Thursday night and I haven't worked out once this week.

Seriously. What's wrong with me?????

Do I think my fat ass and flabby stomach is going to simply disappear if I close my eyes and wish for it real, real hard???

Freaking pitiful, that's all I've got to say.

I get off work at 7:15 a.m. and when I get home ... by god I'm going to go for a walk/run.
And then I'm going to sleep.
But then I'll wake up and do one of my boot camp DVD workouts.

So it was written, so let it be done.

Status Update

Hmmm .... let's check in and see how Jenn has done the past two weeks.

I have to say that I'm actually pretty proud of myself! Now I haven't been perfect, but based on what I was doing before (i.e. nothing) I think I've made some real progress!

1. Boot Camp: I made boot camp twice the first week and twice this week. My goal was to go three times each week, but I had some sleep issues - more specifically NO sleep due to teething Gremlin. As much as I want to work out, when I've been up since midnight with a screaming baby, it's hard to be motivated to go work out at 5:30 a.m. I have a boot camp DVD now, so this week when I missed on Wednesday, I did 40 minutes of my DVD instead. I've really been enjoying the class and have definitely felt the soreness in my abs, legs and arms. Hopefully this next week I'll make all three days!

2. Half-Marathon training: So far I've only missed one scheduled day of training which is a miracle for me. Even when I was training hard-core in the past, I always missed a session here or there. I've been mainly training with the Gremlin in the jogging stroller out of necessity but I'm hoping that the extra work of pushing him will make me even stronger. This week I had rain two days and I even went out in the rain, thank goodness for the weather shield for my BOB! Gremlin really enjoys riding and it's definitely been good for my sanity to get out of the house and breathe the fresh air. I haven't started wearing my heart rate monitor yet because I know my HR is still going to be ridiculously high. Hopefully after a few weeks of routine cardio, I'll be better conditioned.

3. Nutrition: This has actually been one of the best areas for me. I have been very mindful about what I'm eating and avoiding the fried food and junk food that I have come to love over the past few months. I'm definitely making better choices, drinking more water, and watching my portions. I think that if I can keep this up while continuing to exercise, I'll be fitting back into my skinnier jeans soon. :)

It's definitely a work in progress but if I can keep it up, I'll be back into the habit of a healthy lifestyle. Woo Hoo for me!!

It starts TODAY!

I am seriously fed up with myself ... fed up with my inactivity, my plump post-baby figure and hating myself every time I look in the mirror. Most of all, I'm fed up with my excuses and refusal to just go out and get it done.
I know what it takes - I've done it before.
I know that it's not easy, and that it will likely be harder with a wee demanding Gremlin, but the excuses have to stop. I just got back from a vacation to Florida and in the pictures I STILL look pregnant! I don't fit into any of my clothes (except my preggo ones) and I just feel sluggish all the time. It's unacceptable and I refuse to remain complacent.

So yes my friends, it starts TODAY!

I have a several pronged approach to Operation Make Jenn Not Look Like A Fat Slob

1. I started a "boot camp" workout group for the next four weeks. It meets four days a week at 6 a.m., but I can only do three days due to my work schedule. I went this morning and remembered how great it feels to sweat and feel my muscles burn!

2. I'm going to start a training program for the Bass Pro half-marathon this week. I'm going to be following a walk/run program and not stressing about the fact that I'm mainly walking at this point in time. Walking consistently is better than where I've been the past year.

3. I don't believe in dieting. I've tried the Weight Watchers thing and several other fad diets in the past, but I don't think it's sustainable. When I lost my weight the first time around all I did was eat MINDFULLY, thinking carefully about what and how much I was eating. I also made sure to eat breakfast and incorporate healthy snacks. This week marks the end of having the "oh what does it matter I'm fat anyway" french fries or jalapeno poppers or whatever else ridiculously fattening I really want to shove down my throat.

4. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I really need to change my attitude. I'm so far down in a slump that I'm having a hard time digging myself out. I need to just take it one day at a time and give myself credit for every small victory. Rome wasn't built in a day, and a hot, sexy Jenn won't re-emerge in a day either.

In looking at the blog, I need to make some changes. Obviously my masthead and title are completely irrelevant these days. My traveling days are over for a while, and as far as being a nurse, I do my two shifts a week to get the bills paid, but my focus is no longer at work. I need my focus to be on myself for a while. I've poured a lot of energy into my child and my marriage (and will continue to do so), but I think I've lost myself. I'm not pleased with where I am and I think that when I reclaim some of the old Jenn, I'll be a better wife and mother!!

Join me for the journey and feel free to haze me as necessary :)

THE DAMNING EVIDENCE

Yes, that's my maternity swimsuit from last year.

WOW! I actually look chunkier in these pics than I did last summer at almost 6 months pregnant! Definitely gained some thigh fat, and my stomach? Horrible!

Three months later .....

OK, it's been over three months without a post so you are probably correct if you guessed that Jenn has not been kicking ass on the pavement. I could give you all kinds of excuses but I know that you don't want to read them, and quite frankly I'm tired of giving them. We'll just say that the transition to parenthood has been a challenging one, made even more so by my return to work in January. I've managed to prioritize everything above my own needs - I worry more about whether the baby is happy, the house is clean, the laundry done and my husband getting enough sleep. Somehow I never manage to get around to making sure that my needs are met whether that be getting a hair cut or getting a workout accomplished. I should give props to my husband who has been very encouraging and tried everything he can think of to get me motivated, but in the end the motivation can only come from one place. And in the end, I need to learn to include MYSELF in my priorities!

As far as fitness goes, we got a BOB Ironman stroller for Christmas and with the help of a Kiddopotamus insert, we can get the Gremlin securely and safely strapped in. I've taken him out several times in the neighborhood and he loves it! I've only tried jogging with it a few times so far, but now with the BOB, I don't have to wait for Bryan to get home for me to get a run in. I've also started forcing myself to take the stroller if I need to run to the post office which is only a mile and a half round trip. Same for if I get a craving for a Sonic Diet Cherry Vanilla Coke which is across the street from the post office. Even if it's not far, it's a start :)

I also signed up for the Arkansas Grand Prix which is a series of races sponsored by various Road Runners Clubs across the state. This is the first year that my club, the Hot Legs, have participated and Bryan also signed up with his group. I was able to participate in my first race two weeks ago, the Chase Race 2 Miler. It worked out great because we had someone to watch the Gremlin and it was so short that it wasn't too intimidating for me. I was ridiculously slow and ran it in 25:25, but it just felt good to be out stretching my legs on the pavement. My quads were SO SORE for the next three days, I haven't felt that kind of soreness since I first started running in 2006!! Here's a pic of me, my husband and my Mom who was the official Gremlin sitter so that both of us could race.

I have several races on the near horizon and I know that if I start getting a regular run in three times a week, it won't take long to recover my pace. I just started on my routine work schedule last week so I now know that I can make it to my running club's Wednesday night run. I just need to work in one more run with the jogging stroller during the week and a weekend long(er) one when Bryan can watch the Gremlin.

I haven't thought beyond running for the time being, but I do need to come up with a viable way to do some strength training. I've never been in as good of shape as when I used to routinely strength train twice a week ... a habit long since forgotten.

My other big issue is diet. UGH! I HATE to diet! The reality is that I still have 20 pounds of baby weight that's not going to dissolve magically while I sleep. I joined Weight Watchers last month and even have the fancy points tracker on my Blackberry, but I just haven't committed to it. I'm so bad at keeping track of what I eat which is really the whole basis. I need to at least try two weeks of taking it seriously and see what happens. I am trying to be more aware of what I eat - specifically how much I eat, but honestly I'm still in the mode of "who cares, I'm fat anyway" which doesn't do me a damn bit of good when it comes time to fit into any of my clothes.

I think I've hit rock bottom. I'm sick of how I look and even sicker about how I feel. I know that Bryan will be a partner in this endeavor and will help me do what it takes to be healthier. I know I can do it - I've done it before and when I started off over three years ago, I didn't even think I was capable of running half-marathons and doing triathlons. Now I KNOW that I am capable of this ... so what's stopping me???