Reclaiming Jenn

I'm moving on from this blog and from blogger. If you'd still like to follow me, I will now be living at
www.livinginlethargy.wordpress.com

I warn you that I am more in a bitching and moaning kindof phase at the moment but that could certainly change ;)

I don't remotely pretend to have all of the acquired knowledge of a physician - my nursing curriculum was 4 semesters while they attend for 4 years. I am however relatively savvy on researching health issues and common treatments. I don't generally head to a doctor unless I am completely ignorant of what is ailing me OR I know that I need prescription medication. Maybe that makes me a bad patient, but I prefer to think that it makes me an educated healthcare consumer.


Well my feet hurt - a lot. I've had problems off an on since last October - yes, October 2009! It first manifested after a 10 mile walk/run while training for the Bass Pro half-marathon. I had recently been fitted for new shoes and after being considered a neutral runner prior to pregnancy, I had now developed some overpronation. I was put in some mild motion control shoes and even saw on a nifty video analysis of my running on a treadmill how the new shoes kept me from rolling inward.


Over the winter, I didn't do a lot of training for various reasons and as the Little Rock Half-Marathon approached in March, I started to do some training and began as couch to 5K program again. I was still having problems after going about a mile and a half and it was this sharp pain in the ball of my foot. I went back to the running store and was fitted with another pair of motion control shoes but with a little more cushion in the forefoot. I decided to go ahead and walk the half-marathon because I had already paid my registration. Besides, I've been in decent shape, why can't I walk 13 miles??


Another trip to another running store and I was given some over the counter orthotics by Sole. These had a much greater arch support and could allegedly cure the ills of many feet. I did a couple of short runs with them and had no problems and thought all was well. I also bought a second pair of insoles to put in my work shoes because I'm on my feet a lot during my 12 hour shifts and surely this would help. All in all, my feet felt better and soon summer came and the temps became RIDICULOUS (seriously, this is the hottest summer Arkansas has ever recorded - it has been MISERABLE!) which means that I am not keen on doing lots of running or walking.


I'm no expert, but I've known people who've struggled with this and I know it is NOT a good thing. It's not good if you're trying to get back into running and it's definitely not good when you have a job that requires you to be on your feet for extended periods.

Another trip to a specialty shoe store and I score some MBTs for work. They are ridiculously expensive and not very pretty, but I now have cured the everyday excruciating pain. I can't not walk at work and my new job has me on the feet a LOT more than before. Now, if I can just get my mileage back up without hurting. Today I did almost 4 miles and was just a little sore at the end. Let's see how it goes.

It's been a rough few weeks and though I generally prefer to bitch and moan (seriously, it's my nature) - I decided to take a lesson from Life of Brian and look on the bright side.

While it's true that we've had two major Gremlin illnesses since he started daycare and have dealt with what appears to be a neverending fountain of snot, he has been adjusting really well. We have been very pleased with the facility and the caregivers and though he was throwing a nice fit every morning at drop-off, we were reassured that it didn't last long. The first two weeks, we just did half days and picked him up before naptime. We have now progressed to full days and he has been taking his naps and in general having a great time. This week, he even gave up the drop-off drama and happily waved and said "Bye Bye!"

So yes, the germs and sickness which are inevitable in a group care setting have been irritating. Even worse is that I am normally a very healthy person, but I have managed to catch both illnesses which seem to strike during my stretch of time off. Right now I'm practically high on cold meds but I'm going to focus on the positive .... yes, positive Jenn!!! Gremlin is doing well with daycare and because of that, I can now get a full days sleep after I work the night shift. This is the first time since pregnancy that I haven't been sleep deprived - yeah me!!

As for the job, it's been a bit of a stressful transition for me. I was happy in my world of little children, it's all I've ever known since finishing nursing school and I was in my comfort zone. Sure I worked with adults when I was in school, but when you don't do it all the time, you lose that comfort. Most of the assessment stuff is the same, listen to breath sounds, check for murmur, listen to bowel sounds, feel for a pulse. The vital sign numbers are different but that's not hard to relearn. The hardest part for me is the specific stuff you have to deal with after having a baby. (Warning!! anatomical nursing stuff ahead!!!!) You have to press on their belly and find a fundus which is the top of the uterus. You have to make sure it's firm and that it's where it's supposed to be. It is a very important part of the assessment and I have to admit, it can be hard to find it, especially on those women who have a lot of *extra* flesh in the abdominal area. That means you have to push down even harder while trying to find it and shockingly this is a tender spot after giving birth so some moms aren't too keen on you mashing down. I am already preparing myself for the inevitable plea to a fellow nurse to come check my patient because I can't find their damn fundus.

The other thing is you have to look ... down there. Let's be honest, no one goes to school with the hope of looking at vaginas all day, but if a baby comes out of there, it really has to be looked at. I don't really mind and it's not like it grosses me out or anything, it's just the reality that I sometimes don't know exactly what I'm seeing or if I'm even seeing it. Folks, there are lots of different types of bodies out there and I can assure you that no one's nether regions look like a textbook, especially after birth. Did I mention the hemorrhoids? I also have to check for those while I'm looking down there. Again, I don't remotely mind this part of my job, I honestly want to be sure I know what's going on so that I can start helping them heal with the appropriate medicine or therapy. It's just a whole new experience for me to deal with an adult, introduce myself and shortly thereafter look at the part of their body that they find quite private. I've never had to explain myself to a baby, I just do it. I'm still trying to find the script that works well for me to put a woman at ease during examination.

The other issue is that it's been busy at work - REALLY busy. My first week there the unit was full, we were short-staffed on nurses,and everyone was taking a very heavy load. Obviously, if everyone is taking a heavy assignment, it's not the best time to learn. I basically followed my preceptor around and asked occasional questions when I could. I have been in her position with too many patients and needing to train someone, so I was very sympathetic. It was just stressful because I felt like I was in the way and due to my lack of knowledge, I really couldn't help. On my fourth night, they were so short that I volunteered to work in the nursery. Babies are something I know and at least there I can be helpful with taking vital signs, drawing labs etc. It still wasn't a very great learning experience, but at least I was easing the load for the team. My second week was better and I now feel like I'm learning. I really want to be good at this job and I am my own worst critic, I need to remind myself that I have four more weeks to learn what I need to know.

On the bright side, I can already tell that I am really going to love the job. I have enjoyed the patients and the opportunity to work with happy families. I will also appreciate being able to teach on a regular basis as part of the job. For the most part, the staff I have met are very friendly and competent. I just need to get more comfortable in my role and cut myself some slack.

Ooooo, and the best bright side is that I now make more money!!! Wheeee!!! So nice to get a raise!!!!

I've never been very stressed about changing jobs, likely because I've done it so many times since finishing college. I left my first *real* post college job, after 2 and 1/2 years to move to Denver. Then my I left my position in Denver after almost 3 years to attend nursing school. Since nursing school, I've bounced around a lot because it's easy to do that in a high-demand field and it suits my personality because I get bored and/or frustrated at jobs after a while. Truthfully, the idea of career mobility was one of the things that drew me to nursing - the myriad of directions you could take with one degree.

So it's not a shock that I'm changing things up yet again. After spending the last 6 years doing pediatric nursing (most of them Neonatal Intensive Care) it was time to see what else was out there. My current work situation was becoming a bit unstable with absentee management, a pending closure of our unit on the weekends, and some generalized uneasiness amongst the mostly excellent staff. When casually looking at jobs, I noticed a position in the Mom/Baby Unit at Big Popular Birthing Hospital. When I went back to work after Gremlin, I was told by recruiters that jobs rarely opened up in the women's services at Big Hospital because when they had occasional openings, they were filled from within. When I saw that opening, I knew I had to jump and apply.

I had a great interview, though to be honest I ALWAYS interview well. I'm very comfortable with the process and I think I do a good job at representing myself and my abilities. From the hiring manager's demeanor, I could tell that I had a very good shot though she did tell me that others were interviewing for the one available position. I think my interest in being a breastfeeding educator and my extensive NICU experience were the biggest selling points. Speaking of NICU, I had to spend the first 20 minutes convincing her I did not want to work in NICU anymore (that department also had an opening and she wanted to be sure I wasn't making a mistake). After telling her that I most certainly did not want to work in NICU anymore, we had a great time discussing the job.

I've had a major interest in maternity nursing ever since my experiences as a traveler in Colorado when I was floated several times to their post-partum unit. It's such an awesomely, unique place to practice nursing. For one, it's generally a very joyous time in a family's life as opposed to my years of working in very tense "sick baby" situations. It also provides a lot of opportunity for education which is my favorite part of being a nurse. Whether it's teaching how to change a diaper or swaddle or breastfeed, a great deal of supportive education happens in that brief hospital stay after a baby is born. I had Gremlin at Big Hospital and even though I was a professional baby wrangler, I was so thankful for the breastfeeding support and education.

My new job will involve taking care of pairs or "couplets" of mommas and babies. It will truly be acting as a nurse for the whole family. I am incredibly excited by it though a little nervous about dealing with adults again. I have had occasional teenage patients in the past year and a half, but I haven't routinely worked with adults since my student gig as an extern in the Trauma/Burn ICU. I'm sure it will all come back to me with a bit of practice.

This job is also a full-time position so I will be back to working three 12-hour shifts a week. I really was liking my part-time gig, but decided that I wanted this opportunity even more. As a result, Gremlin will now be going to "school" starting next week. In the end, I think it's going to be a great move. I'm excited about a new phase of my career, I'll be able to get quality, uninterrupted sleep while Gremlin is at school, and hopefully I'll regain the joy I used to have in my work.

You know how some people need the promise of a reward - like a cookie - to do something that they don't *really* want to do? Well I need to find my cookie. I have always been highly motivated by sticker charts, little toy surprises and even cookies, but given that the goal is weight loss and fitness, perhaps cookies are not the best way to go.

I do plan on putting together a training chart and then getting some pretty colored stars or stickers to affix to it every time I complete that workout. Yes, it's juvenile but it makes me happy. I also, however, need a prize. Sure the ultimate prize will be a skinner, rock hard body, BUT I need something a bit more tangible.

At this moment, my intermediate goal is to get under 150lbs. That will represent an approximately 15lb loss from where I've been the last year or so and get me closer to the realm of my 140-143lb pre-Gremlin weight. Once I get below the 150lb mark I will reward myself with a spa day! I love me some spa treatments but I haven't allowed myself the indulgence since long before Gremlin came. I think this will be a great motivator and a great prize. I'm hoping to be there by the end of July.

As for longer term goals, I want to be at my pre-Gremlin weight by my birthday which is in early September. I would love nothing more than to get some new skinnier clothes and a birthday is just the time for sure things.

In regards to fitness, I am going to train for an October sprint triathlon. I had *really* wanted to get back into multisport this season but apathy and lack of motivation got in the way. When I saw that there was a race about 90 minutes away and 13 weeks down the road, I knew I had to commit. I'm working on my training plan now and will start it next week. It's going to be more of a challenge to get all my workout in with the Gremlin but I'm thinking that I've got my bike trainer and the jogging stroller so that just leaves the swims. I know I can do it .... don't you agree??