I have really slacked at setting goals for myself and as I've learned in the past, I really don't get anywhere if I don't push myself.
Case in point, my weight loss. I did pretty well those first three weeks on Weight Watchers and lost 5 pounds, then I stopped recording my intake, stopped calculating points and just kept with the status quo. Now on the positive side, I haven't gained any of those pounds back, but I'm still well away from my goal and my pre-pregnancy weight. Therefore ...
GOAL #1 - starting today, I will record ALL food that I eat and calculate my Weight Watchers Points! I will endeavor to stay within my points range the rest of the week.
I've also been slacking on the running. I did do a 10K last weekend and that's all good and well, but I do need to actually run on non-race days. I have decided to do the Little Rock HALF marathon as opposed to the full because it is a much more realistic goal with weekly mileage that is very achievable with the Gremlin. The half training plan also has lower mileage during the week which is likely to keep me out of the doctor's office with injuries.
GOAL #2 - I will do all mileage listed for this week on my training plan!!
I didn't run yesterday, but I did feel the great urge to go for a hike so I strapped the Gremlin to my back and hit the Pinnacle Mountain Trail. I refused to give myself grief for not running because for once I felt the pure joy of being outdoors and sweating on the trail. I think I need to do things like this more often and not be so limited by running in my neighborhood. Given how steep the trail is, I'm pretty sure I can count it as a good cross-training workout.
I think I need to be more diligent in taking on tasks in the house and cleaning and organizing areas that have gone long untouched. I really think that being apathetic about the inch of dust on my bedroom dresser does effect my overall outlook on life. I find it so hard to get things done when I'm chasing Gremlin all day, but I think if I broke it up into small manageable tasks, I could feel good about making small strides.
Goal #3 - Do one small thing around the house every day.
Let's see if I can turn Apathetic Jenn around. It may take some coaxing or downright brow-beating ... but it can be done!
Today made me realize just how utterly, pitifully and pathetically dependent I have become. The old Jenn would have scoffed at this vision of myself - moping around the quiet house and not even cheered by the Tivo full of long neglected mindless entertainment. Shoot, a few years ago my description of a perfect weekend day would be me in my jammies, watching hours of tv - ooooh maybe some Buffy or Alias??? - surrounded by my fur family and lots of coffee and Diet Coke. Today, however, I was just missing my boys.
I had to work last night and today's Razorback game had an early kickoff so Bryan and Gremlin left yesterday afternoon for an overnight at the in-laws. I should have been excited that I couldn't change my shift because it meant I got to miss another football game! (sorry but I really can't pretend that I like football - I love you to much to deceive) Instead I was just sad that I had to head to work without hugs or baby kisses, and then come home to an empty home. Even the dogs were low-key, they clearly didn't like it either.
I did my best to sleep as long as possible, with both Tosca and Oakley snuggled in close. Then I caught up on three weeks of Grey's Anatomy and had some tasty Taco Bell. Now I'm readying for a relaxing bath without worries of a little Gremlin walking in and trying to climb in while demanding to join me and I'm still essentially in my jammies. It should be a nice escape, but instead I'm just wondering how long it will take Bryan to get home.
Yes, it's pitiful.
I'm one of *those* chics who really digs her husband and her child.
Blech!
How did this happen??
Right now I have going through my head ...
"What happened to Miss Independent? No longer need to be defensive.
Goodbye, old you, when love is true."
Screw you Kelly Clarkson! :)
I am officially a bad blogger! I'm like that person who gets a Christmas gift and doesn't send a thank you card til next Thanksgiving. Of course Miss Manners says better late than never - so here goes.
Last time we met, I was in training for the Bass Pro half-marathon and excited that I had completed a 10 mile training "run." (I seriously feel dirty when I try to classify what I'm doing as running). I was all on track to have an SR (slowest race) as opposed to a PR by a good 20 minutes and I was working on being ok with that. Then we started to have Gremlin troubles during my taper period. Our friendly little dude had suddenly turned into Mr. Separation Anxiety and tended to cry - a lot - when left without his parents. My trip with him to Illinois to visit my family a week and a half before the race sealed my fate. The little dude flipped out any time I left the room, even with Grammy K who is the family member that has babysat for him the most. I realized that it would be cruel and unusual punishment to leave him and his screaming self with my own Grandma in Missouri so that hubby and I could race. Despite her age of 87, she is most capable and would have been happy to help out, but I would have had a hard time concentrating on my race. So the decision was made that I would bow out and instead be mobile course support for Bryan on his quest to complete his first marathon.
To say I was bummed is an understatement. I'm pretty sure the phrase, "stupid baby" was uttered on more than one occasion. I was worried that some might perceive it as an excuse to not race or that I was being weak, but you can ask Bryan - it was a real disappointment. This whole putting your kids before yourself is new to me and there are times when it really blows.
Anyway, I decided that we would make the best of it. I enjoy crewing for races and thought it would be fun to drive all over Springfield, MO trying to catch Bryan along the course. We checked the race map (which was absolutely horrendous) and tried to plan a strategy. I was going to carry extra gels and pretzels for him so that he wouldn't have to be so loaded down with gear from the start. I had the good digital SLR so I also wanted to grab some pics along the way. As a bonus, some other Hot Legs were going to be running the half, so I hoped to cheer for them as well.
The week of the race, I was looking over the race website and suddenly realized Hey!!! They are having a 5/10K race on Saturday!!!
Maybe I can do that instead??
The site indicated that race changes would not be a problem and to handle it at the Expo.
Woo Hoo!! I can still race!!! Sure, it's not what I trained for, but I haven't done a 10K in 2 years so this could be fun!!
On Friday, we arrived at the Bass Pro Headquarters in Springfield, MO. Let me just say that if you are remotely into hunting or the outdoors, you MUST visit this store if you are ever in the area. It is the flagship store and it is HUGE!! They currently are undergoing some renovations, but it is still impressive. The Gremlin loved their giant fish tank, and terrarium with turtles. I loved their huge selection of outdoor clothing from Columbia, North Face and the likes, and both me and the hubby enjoyed the camping, guns and assorted crap that we really don't need. Like the giant overstuffed camouflage massaging recliners ... wouldn't they go with any decor?
Bryan got his packet and I went to registration to grab my packet and explain my dilemma.
Yes, I'm registered for the half-marathon. Can I change to the 10K?
No, I don't want to pay $35 to register for the 10K, I just want to transfer my registration from the half-marathon to the 10k.
There was definite confusion on how to accomplish it, but everyone from the store was very friendly in trying to help me out. I was sent to Customer Service to get a "refund" of my half registration fees. They asked, "do you have a receipt??"
Umm, no but I have this race packet with race bib and tshirt.
I kept explaining that I didn't want a refund of my race fees (which were $50), I just wanted to get into the 10K race and not pay again.
They apologized, "well all we can do is give you a Bass Pro store credit for the $15" (the difference in what I had paid and the current 10K price).
Ummm, sure?
I honestly wasn't expecting any money back, that's unheard of in the racing world. I just wanted to race and not pay a second time. Thanks Bass Pro!!
So off I went to return my cool technical half-marathon shirt, and exchange it for the generic technical shirt they gave out for the 5/10K. Nice New Balance shirts but ridiculously oversized. Luckily I was able to snag a small.
New race bib in hand and I was ready!! Saturday morning was beautiful fall weather with temps around 42 degrees at the start which is prefect running weather in my book. I had originally planned on racing in the awesome running dress that Bryan gave me for my birthday, but it will have to wait. It's not worthy of showcasing in a 10K in my opinion. Instead I went with shorts, my Hot Legs short sleeved shirt, Pearl Izumi arm warmers and cute Skirt Sports vest. The race started in front of the store and there were several hundred participants. I really didn't have a specific strategy other than to do some combo of a 3:2, either run 3 minutes/walk 2 minutes, or walk 3 minutes/run 2 minutes depending on how I felt.
As usual I started out really fast, it's hard to not get caught up in the crowd. After the mile mark, the 5K split off and it was obvious that the vast majority of the participants were going that distance. Very suddenly I was completely on my own which is a common phenomenon when you are a back of the pack kind of gal. I did NOT wear headphones or carry an iPod on since I am opposed to racing with them. It's a safety issue (especially since parts of the course had traffic sneaking onto the roads) and I think you miss out on the race experience. I decided to just enjoy the run and the people I encountered along the way.
Not too long after the split, a runner came up behind and passed me. As he passed he patted me on the shoulder and said, "looking good! Have fun!" Hmmm who was that slightly older runner in camouflage?? Oh, it's Frank Shorter, 1972 Olympic marathon gold medalist and featured speaker at the weekend's events. Thanks Frank!!
For the rest of the race, I was on my own except for the consistent leap-frogging with two gals ahead of me and one older woman behind me. On my run portions I would pass the two girls, then they would pass me once I started walking. The woman behind me was doing a walk/run as well and she would do the same to me during her run portions. Everyone was very friendly and we laughed about how consistent all of our pacing was.
The course left the road just before 2 miles and headed onto the Galloway Trail. I had assumed that the trail would be a nice surface like asphalt but it was concrete - YUCK! Basically the same as running on sidewalks which is not good for my legs. The trail portion was also an out and back so when you're the back of the pack, it gives you a chance to see ALL of the fast people in front of you! The winner (who is from Central AR and seen at our local events) was heading off the trail and to the finish just as I entered it. Of course, once you hit the turnaround, it also lets you see just how few people are still behind you.
Most of the race was uneventful. I switched up between running 3 minutes or 2 minutes based on my heartrate and how I left. In general,I was going faster than my normal 15 minute training pace which felt good!! I had originally planned a 1:30 finish, but knew that I could definitely beat that which made me feel great.
Around mile 4, my feet started to kill me! The same thing had happened at about mile 7 in my 10 mile training run, the balls of my feet just felt almost broken. It wasn't excruciating, but definitely uncomfortable. My shoes were pretty new, so I chalk it up to not enough time on the road in recent months, and likely the extra concrete on this particular course.
The last two miles were off the trail and through a neighborhood, parts of it with gentle uphills. I really didn't think much of it, but Bryan said they looked like mountains when he was 25 miles into his marathon and running the same course at the finish :) My heart rate was starting to get pretty high 
towards the end, but I was really wanting to push as much as possible. I did a 2 minute run, 2 minute walk the last mile and a half, and tried to walk as fast as possible while avoiding the dreaded side stitch. The best part was that before mile 5, I left my leap-froggers behind and then passed 3 more people before the finish!! It wasn't much of a kick, but it was something!! The race finished inside the store which was an interesting thing to do. I felt really good and though it was a slow 10k, 1 hour 19 minutes , it was much faster than I expected. Yeah me!!
The best part was having my husband and adorable Gremlin right there at the end cheering for me!! As I walked to the refreshment area which was awesomely stocked with muffins, scones, fresh fruit, ice cream bars, fountain soda, coffee and tea, I saw the three folks I had paced with for much of the race come towards the finish. I had gained a couple of minutes on them which was quite surprising.
My feet felt better later that day, so I think I just need to be more consistent in running often during the week. When the official results came out, I was definitely back of the pack, but it was still an accomplishment. I'm getting faster even if it is in a painfully slow fashion, and despite my initial disappointment in cancelling my half, I did get to race and to enjoy the fun of the Bass Pro Outdoor Fitness Festival.
Overall Time = 1:19:08
Pace = 12:46
Age Group Place (Female 35-39)= 11/12
Overall Place = 148/164
Next up, the Little Rock Half-Marathon 3/7/10. I was originally thinking of the full, but I would rather focus on getting back up to speed in the half distance. I'm not expecting to PR, but I'd love to do a 2:45. Can I do it? Never say never!
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Find out about the three weekend Bass Pro Outdoor Fitness Festival here
Has it really been a month since I posted??
This goes to show that when I am without a laptop and sleep deprived a lot of things go by the wayside.
On the laptop front, my iBook died - or so I thought. With a some help from a work colleague, it was disassembled and the culprit found! A crispy part responsible for charging was ordered and replaced, so I'm now back to mobile computing! I never realized how much I relied on it until it was dead. It's so hard to use the PC in our office for long periods of time because the office is not a Gremlin-friendly zone. It's best for me to sit in the living or dining room in full view of Gremlin and his myriad of activities.
As for sleep deprived, that really isn't anything new. I've been sleep deprived for over a year now so there's no point in bitching about it. I'll just say that my son (to quote my husband) has the sleep needs of an 85 year old woman. Basically he sleeps very little and is up FAAAR too early!
I have had some great personal developments since my last post. I decided to start Weight Watchers again and take it SERIOUSLY this time. I went with the online version because apparently the state of Arkansas was not participating in the do two months get one month free special they were offering for meetings. Ridiculous because if ever there was a state that could use some free Weight Watchers, it most definitely is Arkansas. Luckily, I found a good deal on the online version and I decided that I would get out of it what I put into it. For me, the biggest problem is in recording my food intake. For Weight Watchers (or any diet) to work, it does require a knowledge of what one crams into their gullet. I purchased a handy dandy pocket notebook and committed to "If I bite it, I gotta write it!" When I make it to a computer, I then put it in my points tracker and calculate my points intake. There is also a mobile site that works with my Blackberry, but I find it's less aggravating to just put it in my notebook and use a real computer as soon as possible.
Apparently, it's worked, because so far I've lost FIVE pounds!!!
Woo Hoo!! Yeah Me!!!
(Pause for Applause)
I've certainly had my bad days and moments, but I now know that the system works. I'm still learning how to utilize my daily points allotment and trying to focus on healthier choices as opposed to blowing it all on a few donuts that leave me feeling hungry an hour later. I would LOVE to be at my goal weight by the end of the year, but barring that, definitely by my 2nd Anniversary in March.
In addition to weight loss efforts, I have been continuing to trudge along in my quest to be a runner once more. So far, my biggest obstacle has been Gremlin and I really need to find a way to mitigate that obstacle. Luckily he is happy to take a ride in the jogging stroller, but I just need the energy to do it. With recent sleep challenges, I have really felt worn down. I struggle with motivation to work out when I feel there's no gas in the tank. With the onset of true Fall weather, it really makes me WANT to go run. This is my favorite time of year and I love how crisp it feels outside. I simply need to overcome that urge to sit inside.
I recently did a 10 mile training walk/run which was the furthest I've gone in close to 2 years! My Mom was in town for the weekend which allowed me to go sans jogging stroller. It's so much easier to lose myself along the trail when I don't have to worry about a one year old getting bored, needing his sippie cup, or getting chilled by the wind. I'm still only averaging a 14-15 minute mile, but at least my endurance is coming back. I'm still following my half-marathon training plan for the Bass Pro Shops half-marathon November 1st, and also working on the Little Rock Marathon plan for March 2010. I'm still lacking on my weekday workouts, but have done enough long runs to know that I have it in me to be successful. It's just a matter of making a commitment and not allowing life, work and wee children to get in the way.
But hey, did I tell you that I lost FIVE pounds?!?!??!
In regards to guns, I've always been a proponent of gun control. I firmly believe that it is a privilege, not a right to own a gun. Much the same as I believe it is a privilege to have a driver's license, donate blood or buy explosives. I even remember crafting my first persuasive speech in 8th grade english class in support of tougher gun control. Yes, I was liberal at a tender young age. I managed to make it to my mid-30s without so much as laying my finger on a real gun (not counting the BB gun my brother and I had as children) and I have never had the desire to own or wield a gun. Imagine my shock when I married a gun person.
Early in our marriage, we took a road trip and he had the loaded gun in the car. It freaked me out the whole time and I kept thinking that somehow it was going to discharge and shoot me as I helplessly sat in the passenger seat. (Yes, my fear is that irrational.) In the house, one is kept loaded and easily accessible for home defense purposes ... or to shoot random yard zombies. I know where it's kept and I avoid it like the plague because just the sight of the holster makes me uncomfortable. It actually became a bit of a joke because I am known for my habit of eating any and all sweets in the house. Bryan had some candy sent to him by my Mom and he hid it. When I asked where, he said "somewhere I know you'll NEVER look." Turns out he hid it next to the gun, an excellent place because even my insatiable sweet tooth would never encourage me to look there.
"It's not safe! He shouldn't be around bullets!"
Bryan assured me that the bullets can't go off on their own.
After loading and unloading the bullet holder thing several times, he showed me what was putting in the gun bag: gun, ear plugs, shooting glasses, projectile bullets of death, and off we went.
I didn't like it.
I loaded my gun while Merc put the target in place for me. I went over all the directions in my head .... feet shoulder width apart, shoulders slightly forward, make a triangle with my arms, good grip with my shooting hand, wrap the other one around, raise the gun, sight my target. I went through these motions several times and finally squeezed back the trigger.
In the meantime, Merc said, "Did you see where those went??"
