Thursday's Trip Down Memory Lane

This trip is simple ... I will remember a time when I wasn't sick as a dog, running a 102 degree fever and in general feeling like complete crap.

ahh, those were the days!

An addict in withdrawal

It's 6:30 in the morning, the day shift won't get in until 7, I'm dragging so badly I barely keep my eyes open, and I am needing my fix worse than EVER!!

Wow - you're thinking - Jenn shouldn't do meth, as a nurse she should know better!

It's not meth my friends, it's something more common, more potent, more deliciously enjoyable ... sweet nectar of caffeine. I have been an addict for many years, long before I was a night shift worker. In high school and college, soda was the route of choice. Then sometime after college I started drinking coffee, and after some miserable months of working at Starbucks - I switched to tea. At this point in my life, I get it any way I can and during the night shift I usually start "fixing" around 10 p.m.

I've never even considered giving up caffeine, or limiting it - my favorite gels are the GU with caffeine. Now however I'm accosted with reliable data from a large study clearly showing that caffeine and pregnancy don't mix.

WHOA partner, did I miss something?? (you're totally thinking I'm pregnant right?!?!?)

No, I'm not currently with spawn but despite overwhelming evidence that children make your life miserable - I do want to get knocked up at before my remaining eggs shrivel up and die. I figure that being pregnant will be stressful enough without adding in the whole now you must give up caffeine thing. I'm bound to resent my fetus before I'm a month along. So my strategy is to go ahead and make some lifestyle changes now. Besides, many folks would say that caffeine is bad for your body in general and will make me healthier to keep it out of my temple.

Yes, it's been rough. I've cut back and only allowed myself one cup of leaded hot tea or soda a night and caffeinated coffee is now a thing of the past since it's chock full of my #1 drug. (Thank god for decaf!)

It's going to be rough. I'm already experience shakes, strange cravings and the overwhelming urge to throw medical instruments at nurses working in my pod. But I will stay clean, the health of my future spawn deserves it!!

Don't you have to GET on the wagon before you fall off it???

I have to admit that I haven't been a good little triathlete in training as of late, and so far I have no accomplished my immediate short term goals. I think I underestimated just how hard it would be to find the motivation to get off my ass, which has been firmly planted since around the time of our move. I'm not going to bad mouth myself, or make excuses, but I'm still gonna keep taking it one step at a time.

I have been running twice a week and did 6 miles Monday. It was one of those really enjoyable runs where the air felt crisp and I felt so invigorated when I was finished. I need to capture that moment and remind myself when I know I should go run and I just can't manage it.

Another thing that's helped (strangely enough) is my new Hot Legs running gear. The running club that belong to, appropriately called the "Hot Legs" ordered team gear months ago. I ended up getting a warm up suit, hat, short sleeved tech tee, and a singlet all emblazoned with our logo. I was so excited - especially about my cool Brooks running jacket - that it made me want to go out and run. Much the same way a cute new running skirt gets me excited!!


Given that the Little Rock half marathon is on the very near horizon, I need to consistently hit my runs. I know I can finish it - I'm not even worried about that, but it'd be nice to not embarrass myself. Also on the racing horizon, a local 15K three weeks before the half mary ... we'll consider it a supported training run with bonus t-shirt. I also just found out that there's a 10K the morning of the wedding in the little town where we're getting hitched. If BJ and I feel adequately recovered from the prior week's half marathon, we're going to do it and consider it an awesome way to start the day.

We found a gym to join, it pales in comparison to the fabulous facilities I had as a staff member of the University of Missouri, but I just gotta suck it up. As for pools, our neighborhood has a 25 yard outdoor pool three blocks away which will be great in summer, but for now I've gotta find something indoors and there aren't a lot of options here. There are two that I know of and one that's on my way home (relatively) from work so I'm thinking that will be the best option. If I'm not too tired, I can hopefully grab some laps in the mornings. There is a 50m pool at the local college, but the lap swim times are pathetic and not conducive to my schedule. So we'll see how much progress I can make in the next few weeks ... don't give up on me yet!

Thursday's Trip Down Memory Lane

This will be one of those sentimental posts - you are forewarned!

For today's trip down memory lane, I started thumbing through my photos which are all crammed in boxes in chronological order (there are a LOT of them hence the need for a serious scrapbooking offensive this year). I saw this one and it made me smile so I thought I'd use it.

Most of us are lucky enough to have grandparents, and I was lucky enough as a child to have both sets of grandparents and even two sets of great-grandparents. This is me and my Grandma D. He was one of those fun grandpas because he was very active and always up to something, working in the yard or garden, fiddling in the garage or burning leaves which was my FAVORITE chore to help with. Just like gramps I loved to burn things! I remember that when he quit smoking he started chewing tobacco, Red Man in a pouch to be specific. After seeing him put that in his mouth time and time again, I finally asked it I could try some. He let me take a pinch of that nasty looking stuff and try it ... needless to say I am NOT a tobacco chewer to this day.

As for me and the army hat?? Apparently that had been my older brother's, but it became my favorite thing to wear. There are MANY pictures of me as a toddler in the army helmet , but sadly most of them would be considered kiddie porn as I'm only wearing my underwear (hey we lived on a farm and had no air conditioning!) The best are of me with the army hat and giving the black power salute - my Mom still can't explain those.

Grandpa D passed away three years ago and until he went downhill with his Alzheimer's, he still had all of his hair styled almost exactly like this picture, was in great shape, and still let us help with burning things!! We all still miss him but have great memories!

And though I don't think that Alzheimer's or dementia are any thing to laugh about, I think sometimes you have no choice but to find some humor in a situation. Now Grandpa was one to say what he thought and he was a big believer in staying fit and active, for example while in a crowd of people and seeing a heavier woman.... "Maaaan, look at that heifer over there!" Bearing this in mind, I'll never forget when we were at a family gathering and he stared at me and said "you know you've got a mustache there" and pointed to my upper lip. I immediately went to the bathroom and confirmed that like all mammals I do in fact have a slight fuzzy covering on all of my face including my upper lip, but thankfully no mustache!

Cloverfield = Take your Dramamine

I meant to post this over the weekend ...

I usually don't go see scary movies because they give me nightmares. I think I'm still scarred by my parents' highly questionable decision to take me with them to see Jaws as a child. It came out when I was 2, so I'm not sure how old I actually was when I saw it. I just have vague memories of hearing that eerie music the duh dum .... duh dum... you know the one you hum when you're in the swimming pool making a shark fin out of your elbow. Anyway, I quickly learned that the music meant carnage and remember burying my face in my Dad's chest to avoid seeing anything bad. I actually was afraid to put my feet all the way down to the bottom of the bed for quite a while because I was worried a shark might eat my foot. Yes, it's completely irrational but THAT'S how a child's mind works. Did I mention that after seeing The Amityville Horror I was convinced that my brother was going to shoot us all in the middle of the night?? Of course I can't blame my parents for that one, it was on the TV at my Aunt Kaye's house and I was supposed to be in bed but I could see it from my room.

I digress, but let's just say there's a reason I have a loooonng history of not seeing scary movies.

That said, BJ has been jonesing to see Cloverfield for months -ever since the first teaser trailers came out. I was intrigued but nervous because even Blair Witch had serious ramifications for me. And when my then boyfriend jumped out at me from under the stairs in our unfinished basement, I nearly moved out right then and there.

Though I'm usually incredibly opposed to spoilers and knowing the end of a movie (JCR you know you're guilty!), in this case I went ahead and read a review to find out more about it. I determined that it was more of a disaster type of film which is one of my favorite genres!!!! ... and don't even pretend that you didn't shed a tear in Armageddon when Bruce Willis said goodbye to Liv Tyler just before he blew up the asteroid and saved Earth ... TRUE DRAMA!!

so yes, Cloverfield was awesome! Great disaster action but with a very unusual perspective. My only problem was that I've become much more sensitive to motion sickness in the past few years and a movie shot with hand held cameras - on a big screen?? Yeah, I kept having to look away because I thought I was going to puke. So be forewarned, it's filmed from the perspective of panicked people shooting a video camera in the streets of New York so it's jerky and twisty. Just take your Dramamine, eat your Junior Mints and enjoy!

Why can't I be the one to wear the pants???!!!

It's no secret that I'm a independent, feminist minded kindof woman, but it's rare that I actually get on my soapbox and speak it. Well readers, I had a recent moment that irked me so I thought I'd share.

BJ and I were at the bank doing some random business and I asked to speak with an account representative. Basically I wanted to know what I would need to do to change my name (and hyphenate it) when we got married. I should preface this with the fact that I opened the account over 8 years ago when I lived in Denver. When BJ and I combined finances, we decided to use my bank therefore I added him to my long existing account and voila, joint account. When they were looking up the account to confirm some information it turns out that I am no longer the "primary" account holder, BJ is. The account info is now under his name and his social security number and I am simply the secondary clinging on person.

I asked them why this was changed given that I had originally opened the account and held it for many years in my name solely ... she couldn't answer or explain. I do specifically remember adding him to my account and signing as the primary account holder. BJ was surprised about this as well.

I can only assume that because he's THE MAN, someone somewhere in bank world decided he must be the primary person, the breadwinner, the head honcho. I know it may seem silly, but it really irritated me. So I can have my own account for years, but then once I'm married or add a man to it, I in effect lose my ownership?? I mean I know I'm still on the account and have full rights to the money in it, but there is something in the symbolism that I really don't like. Especially since on a financial level we are pretty damn even, and with a few shifts of overtime a month I'm quickly the high roller.

So thank you Bank that will go unnamed for attempting to subjugate me and reminding me that I am woman - hear me roar!

Maybe having kids isn't such a good idea after all??!!??



- thanks to Obi-Wan Rob for sharing this with me and calling it "wedding advice."

Rhinestones and sparkly things!

Though I am of the female persuasion I do NOT like to shop.
Matter of fact, I hate it!

Now that the wedding is looming a mere 8 weeks away, I realized that I would actually have to complete my wedding outfit. I've got the dress, veil, and shoes .... ooooo did I mention my shoes?!?!? I knew that I wanted something purple to match the accent color on my dress (not to mention, I'm not the type to wear white shoes - BORING) and I looked into getting them dyed, but the dye is not waterproof. I could only imagine it being wet or rainy and having purple feet and splotchy shoes etc. I started looking online and found some at Nordstroms that were acceptable, but didn't have the pizazz I wanted. Then I found these awesome ones from Guess? and they were even on clearance with only three sizes in stock - one of them my 8 1/2!! They are fabulous!! Total stripper heel with rhinestones! Very sexy and something I'll wear again with some fitted jeans. Damn, they're $8 cheaper than I paid, that always irks me!

Wow, 4 inch stripper heels!! You're thinking to yourself, "that's not very practical!" I respond, well that's the beauty of a planned elopement. I don't have to worry about dancing in them, walking around and greeting people all night. Basically I just need to stay aloft for my adorable BJ and if I trip and fall, surely he won't laugh ... too hard.

OK so enough about the shoes, I have all the basics but I don't have the flair. You know, the earrings, necklace etc. One of my coworkers told me about this place called Accessory City with tons of cheap rhinestone and special event jewelry. I was a little dubious but let me tell you it WAS all that. I found exactly what I wanted, something silvery, and purplely and rhinestoney and the set of necklace, bracelet and earrings cost me $10.83! I had so much money left over and burning a hole in my pocket that I shelled out $6 for a rhinestone barrette for my hair. Now don't worry, I'm not going to look all pageant queen - I am forgoing a tiara, but this is my one and only wedding so a little glitz and glamour will be a fun respite from my normal jeans and Birkenstocks. We even hired a photographer so there will be photographic evidence of Jenn all glammed up because seriously my friends and family would never believe it!!

One, two, three, four I declare a slipper War!

Houston we have a problem

Here I thought I was blissfully happy, without a care in the world, having found the man of my dreams, preparing to spend the rest of my life with bluebirds of happiness chirping at my ear
And then .....

I was shocked out of my fairy tale by the appearance of

THE SLIPPERS






I can't recall the first time I saw them, I know it was before we moved into the new house and I think I saw them on a closet floor. I don't think it registered with me what they were or who they belonged to - perhaps an elderly lady who died in the house long ago left them there?

I do remember, however, the sheer abject, cringing horror that I felt in the pit of my stomach the first time I saw him wearing them. My first thought was NOOOOO my perfect husband-to-be can NOT wear these. It was a very visceral reaction of disgust. I believe my exact words were "If you ever want me to bear your child you MUST remove those."

He protested, "but my feet are cold."
To which I replied, "surely there's a better option"

The slipper war was quickly forgotten given that the weather has been so unseasonably warm and cold feet have not been a concern. It has been mentioned a time or two, generally when I see slippers at a store and think, hmmm I might actually be interested in procreating with my fiancee if he wore those.

Tonight, he again brought out the slippers much to my disgust. He honestly has no clue how absolutely hideous and ridiculous they are. With my next paycheck I'll have to buy the cute memory foam ones at The Sharper Image because $50 is worth saving our marriage and the future of the Jones line.

I welcome any and all comments - either tell me I'm being a complete witch or please for the love of all that is holy tell me that you agree that no hot 34 year old man should walk around in those!!

Ode to Jane

I was so excited this morning to wake up and when I turned on the TV I found that an exciting program had just started!!

I should qualify this statement and say *exciting* to me, a complete freak when it comes to all things Jane Austen. There right in front of me was the PBS premiere of Masterpiece Theater's Persuasion!!

Even better????

The role of Sir Elliot - the somewhat evil and vain father of our heroine Anne Elliot - was played by Giles from Buffy!!! Double bonus!!

So I excitedly drank my coffee and immersed myself in a time where women who had reached the age of 27 were sadly unmarriageable .... except in the world of my beloved Jane where the intelligent though not always beautiful woman gets her well deserving man in the end.

Apparently PBS is doing a complete works of Jane Austen this month so my TV fix that has been unsatisfied due to the writer's strike can continue!!

Thursday's Trip Down Memory Lane - Band Chics are Cool!

Back by popular demand - I bring you another Thursday trip down memory lane!!

I asked BJ for an idea and he quickly stated, "I believe the internet zeitgeist demands to see you in a band uniform." I knew right away that this might be troublesome, because even though I was in the marching band in junior high and all through high school (the first two years in the flag corps and the last two years as a player) I don't really have any pictures. I think the reason is because I never really wanted my Mom to show up (seriously how uncool is that?!?!) and my awesome polyester band uniform had a great hat and cape, but was sadly devoid of pockets for a camera.

The best that I can come up with is this parade picture from 7th grade (I'm the red head with the cheesy grin because I'm pretty sure my Mom was yelling something like "Hey Jennifer, look over here!")
and me in the band room with my clarinet and my friend Spooky. She played the trombone and I was always jealous because I think brass players got more action ... just an unscientific observation on my part.
So yes, I was in the band, AND I went to band camp, but I refuse to classify myself as a band geek. Mainly because I was a cool band chic. My friends and I were the ones who freshman looked up to - OK maybe they were band freshman, but they were still freshman!! I picked up the clarinet towards the end of 6th grade and played through junior high, then when I moved for high school I put it in the back of my closet. I was in marching band my freshman and sophomore years as a member of the flag corps, and when marching season ended - the band director heard the rumor that i had played the clarinet. After much coaxing he encouraged me to just sit in and play one day since I had study hall that period after marching season ended. I protested that it had been too long, I wouldn't remember anything yada yada, but I agreed to sit and play 3rd part (traditionally the easier part for a clarinet technically). I was shocked at how quickly it came back to me and by the next semester I was first chair (the first player) - though to be truthful there were only three clarinetists so it's not THAT impressive.

I loved my time playing in the band and it was a nice respite from my day of college prep courses of physics, chemistry, pre-calculus and the like. When I graduated high school, I left my clarinet playing behind. I still have it in my closet and one of these days maybe I'll pick it up again and find some community band group to play with for fun. Who knows??

For now, this cool band chic is in retirement.

Let's Get Ready to Race!!!

It finally occurred to me that if I'm going to actually DO a triathlon this year, it will require my getting on a bike and jumping in a pool. In the past, I found the best way to motivate myself is to find a goal race, make a plan and then do my best to stick to it (or in general to not deviate so far as to injure myself!!)

I did actually go for a run yesterday .... though I do use the term "run" loosely. Even though I was ridiculously slow, I need to remind myself how quickly I can get back in shape if I just put forth the effort. I really do enjoy running, but nothing has been as fun and challenging for me as triathlon. I also think it keeps me in better shape because it forces me to cross train and get outside of the box.


With that in mind, I was looking at some tentative plans for races. I have already promised my old college roomie Liz that I would do a women's tri in the Chicago area with her this summer. We're thinking either the Danskin Chicagoland (which was the goal race that started my quest way back in 2006) or the Suburu Women's Tri Series in Naperville. Both are large women's only events and based on my experience at Danskin and reading the forums and race reports on Beginner Triathlete, it sounds like the Naperville race is better organized. I have to say I really like doing women's only races, there's just a vibe that makes it so rewarding.


So for 2008, here are some potential things on the tri list ...


Tri Little Rock Super Sprint 6/1
Suburu Women's Tri Naperville, IL June
or
Danskin Chicago 7/13
Iron Girl Texas Sprint Tri, Dallas 7/20
Degray Lake Sprint, Arkadelphia, AR 8/17

As for running events, I'm already committed to the Little Rock half-marathon on
3/2. ... Yes, I had registered for the marathon but there's no way in hell I'll be in shape to safely complete the full. Don't give me grief!!

I'd also like to do a trail race sometime this year - there's a 20K not too far away from here on 3/16, but that time frame may not work with Little Rock, my wedding etc. I'm sure I could find some sort of race - maybe in the fall??

So my goals for this week?

1. Run THREE times
2. Put my bike on the trainer and ride it ONCE (you gotta start somewhere)
3. Visit the two public pools convenient to work and join one
4. Visit a gym and look into joining. I need to STRENGTH train!

I'll update you on my progress on Monday

Everybody's Doing It

I'm feeling the pressure, I mean everybody's doing it ... making resolutions that is. I'm usually opposed to the concept of a New Year's resolution much in the same way that I was opposed to giving up something for Lent. I don't think you can better yourself with guilt and I think most New Year's and Lenten changes go by the wayside in a matter of weeks. Despite this preconceived tendency to dislike the process, I suppose the beginning of the year is as good a time as any to take stock of where I've come and where I'd like to go.

Let's Start with the Accomplishments of 2007 (isn't it better to start with the positive?!?!)

• I ran the Colorado Colfax Half-Marathon with piss-poor training and after living at altitude for only two weeks and still bettered my prior PR by over 10 minutes!!
• I bought a sensible new car! ... OK maybe not an accomplishment but it's the first time in my life I've been able to afford a brand new car!
• I improved my 5K time by 4 & 1/2 minutes (so that technically means I'm faster right?!?!)
• I developed a budget and debt elimination plan - and it's ACTUALLY working
• I found the love of my life and got engaged
• We bought our first house which means I now actually have equity in something!!!!
• I maintained my weight all year

Now let's think about things I'd like to tackle in 2008. I want to treat this as a goal list, not something to beat myself up about if I don't accomplish them.

• I need to start running consistently again. I feel better and I have more energy when I train. I'd like to improve my half-marathon PR and strive for 2:30 this year.
• Weight training was my friend! I'd like to join a gym and get strong again following the workouts designed by Cindy my Mizzou personal trainer.
  
• Triathlon was so fun for me! I miss it! I'm going to start cross-training and I plan to complete at least two sprint distance tris this year. Maybe an all women's race as well as a local Arkansas event? I have no delusions of grandeur, I just want to finish them.
  
• I really want to scrapbook!! I have tons of pictures in boxes and supplies that JCR helped me purchase, but I've been afraid to start.
  
• I'd like to eat out less and eat healthier. I'm so bad about going hours on end without food, I need to eat breakfast, have sensible snacks and actually shop so that we have groceries in the house.

Doesn't that seem like a good list of goals to start with? There are a few personal things I have in mind as well that I don't feel like sharing with the blog'osphere, but all in all, I have plenty to work on.

Peace in 2008

Doesn't the song go - let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me?

Maybe it's not me, but clearly my household is feeling the love. I don't know if it's the arrival of winter cold or the thawing of months held jealousy, but we've caught Oakley and Cleo cozied up in the dog bed together twice! As a dog parent, there's nothing better than seeing your kids get along, especially after such a rocky start. I felt guilty about moving in with BJ and upsetting Cleo's life with so many changes after being the apple of her Daddy's eye for many years, but I really think she's a happier dog now. Seeing how her and Oakley have grown to love each other has just been awesome.

Maybe I'm just one of those crazy dog people, but I do honestly love my dogs like children. I can't even imagine how I'll feel about human children when they finally make their appearance. I just hope that the dogs will accept whatever changes may come and we'll continue in our happy family of furry and not so furry critters!

Now if only this peace could spread to other parts of the world, what a wonderful place it would be.

Happy New Year!

This will be short and sweet because I worked last night (nothing says Happy New Year like drinking a styrofoam cup of sparkling apple juice at midnight while your 900 gm patient tries to pull out his breathing tube!!) and I'm working tonight.

So bottom line, 2007 started roughly but ended well. I can't wait to see what treasures 2008 has in store for me!!

oh yeah, and GO TIGERS!!!!

-and to answer your question, yes there was a bit of pre-Bowl gamesmanship in the house ... but in the end, I resisted the tempation to gloat and simply said, "I'm sorry your team lost." See, I have become a better person in 2007!