It's no secret that I'm a independent, feminist minded kindof woman, but it's rare that I actually get on my soapbox and speak it. Well readers, I had a recent moment that irked me so I thought I'd share.
BJ and I were at the bank doing some random business and I asked to speak with an account representative. Basically I wanted to know what I would need to do to change my name (and hyphenate it) when we got married. I should preface this with the fact that I opened the account over 8 years ago when I lived in Denver. When BJ and I combined finances, we decided to use my bank therefore I added him to my long existing account and voila, joint account. When they were looking up the account to confirm some information it turns out that I am no longer the "primary" account holder, BJ is. The account info is now under his name and his social security number and I am simply the secondary clinging on person.
I asked them why this was changed given that I had originally opened the account and held it for many years in my name solely ... she couldn't answer or explain. I do specifically remember adding him to my account and signing as the primary account holder. BJ was surprised about this as well.
I can only assume that because he's THE MAN, someone somewhere in bank world decided he must be the primary person, the breadwinner, the head honcho. I know it may seem silly, but it really irritated me. So I can have my own account for years, but then once I'm married or add a man to it, I in effect lose my ownership?? I mean I know I'm still on the account and have full rights to the money in it, but there is something in the symbolism that I really don't like. Especially since on a financial level we are pretty damn even, and with a few shifts of overtime a month I'm quickly the high roller.
So thank you Bank that will go unnamed for attempting to subjugate me and reminding me that I am woman - hear me roar!
6 comments:
What she said! It's just stupid ridiculous. What makes things REALLY interesting is we use internet bill pay to pay our bill to our home owners association. The bank cuts them a check since they aren't setup for electronic payment and the check only has her name on it (which let me be clear I could care less about). Some computer somewhere knows that it was originally her account and obviously doesn’t talk to the same system the aforementioned branch uses. It just doesn't make any sense.
Uncool. Stupid bank computer system. Speaking of pant wearing, I happen to know of a major national bank that has coding in their system to allow for a hidden account for a man's mistress, but if, say, you are a sugar momma you can't have the same secret account for you boy toy. I'm not saying that any of it is right, but things should be equal all the way around.
hmmm, didn't realize bill pay only had me on it and not you. I'm sure that confuses the home owner's association who REFUSED to list my name in the directory since it's only listed under the man's name ..... grrr don't even get me started!!
I love sticking it to "Da Man" (pun intended) :)
That seriously sucks. Stupid bank!
Wow! I can't believe that crap still goes on. I hope you let them have it.
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