Here I thought I was blissfully happy, without a care in the world, having found the man of my dreams, preparing to spend the rest of my life with bluebirds of happiness chirping at my
earAnd then .....
I was shocked out of my fairy tale by the appearance of
THE SLIPPERS
I can't recall the first time I saw them, I know it was before we moved into the new house and I think I saw them on a closet floor. I don't think it registered with me what they were or who they belonged to - perhaps an elderly lady who died in the house long ago left them there?
I do remember, however, the sheer abject, cringing horror that I felt in the pit of my stomach the first time I saw him wearing them. My first thought was NOOOOO my perfect husband-to-be can NOT wear these. It was a very visceral reaction of disgust. I believe my exact words were "If you ever want me to bear your child you MUST remove those."
He protested, "but my feet are cold."
To which I replied, "surely there's a better option"
The slipper war was quickly forgotten given that the weather has been so unseasonably warm and cold feet have not been a concern. It has been mentioned a time or two, generally when I see slippers at a store and think, hmmm I might actually be interested in procreating with my fiancee if he wore those.
Tonight, he again brought out the slippers much to my disgust. He honestly has no clue how absolutely hideous and ridiculous they are. With my next paycheck I'll have to buy the cute memory foam ones at The Sharper Image because $50 is worth saving our marriage and the future of the Jones line.
I welcome any and all comments - either tell me I'm being a complete witch or please for the love of all that is holy tell me that you agree that no hot 34 year old man should walk around in those!!
7 comments:
Jesus Christ.... Those are the most awful things on the planet. Bryan must toss those nasty things. They sure look warm though
In defense of Bryan, those look like slippers that campers and backpackers wear.(however, read: ONLY FOR CAMPING!)
Our household owns a pair, actually two pairs, one for me and one for hubby. They do come in black and grey, I believe this would this make them a lot less hideous, non? Sierra Designs makes them.
I feel your pain! Heff had a similar pair in green. Nasty. (Sorry, Bryan.) For a few years he switched to a pair of Simples to wear around the house, and then this Christmas I got him a pair of the newer Mammmoth Crocs (the lined ones).
I think you should let him enjoy the shoes. the bring him happiness and they would have remained behind closed doors but for your post. :-)
And...JCR...in my opinion, Crocs are never a good option. I'd take Bryans ugly booties over Crocs any day.
We are men!!!! We can wear really bad shoes around the house if we want too. My wife acutally bought me a pair of Homer Simpson boxer shorts, that have a drawing of Homer and say ladies man. All I need now are his slippers.
And to be honest, I never wear slippers. I am never cold.
I have no problems with quirky clothes - I've never said anything about the Family Guy jammie pants or the thousands of witty tshirts - but the difference is that these turn me off SO MUCH, I honestly can't explain it.
Put it this way, how do the men who read this blog like it when their significant other's pull out the white, cotton, granny panty briefs?? You know the raggedy ones that go up to their belly buttons that they usually reserve for that time of the month ... not very exciting eh?? Catch my drift??
I for one take vast amusement out of putting them on now and seeing how long it takes to get a reaction. }:)
And yes, they are technically camping slippers, and boy are they warm! Oh and yes I know they look silly.
If presented with squishy sharper image ones, I would give them a try.
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