Musings on Parenting

One of my good friends (who interestingly enough has two kids with a third on the way) sent me this article from Newsweek because it spoke to her. She has a lot of "uber-mommies" in her mommies group [sidenote: please don't ever make me join one of those] and I know that they sometimes make her feel like a freak because she's not like them. She works full time, is finishing her PhD and is very proud of where her career is going. I'd like to think that when the time comes for me to be a parent, I'll be the same way.

On a slightly related note, I am still shocked at how people are completely oblivious to what is and ISN'T appropriate to do with children these days. For example, BJ (a.k.a. fiancee) and I paid $13 each to see the new Harry Potter film in IMAX 3D (which was QUITE cool by the way). After sitting down in the sold out theater, I noticed a fat woman with an infant who appeared about 4 months old - in a movie that was going to be over 2 and half hours long?!?!?!? Are you kidding me??? There was a lot of murmuring around us as apparently all of the other movie goers were also noticing the impending disruption to their cinematic experience. Of course the baby ended up fussing, and cooing and making baby noises that might be adorable were I not trying to enjoy my movie and popcorn. I suppose I should give her credit for taking the baby out of the theater when after feeding him/her it still continued to cry. Of course somewhere behind us there was apparently another infant that we could hear occasionally wailing in the back. Please shoot me if I EVER think that's it's appropriate for my kid to ruin everyone else's movie!!!

Two Rants

The first subject of my anger and irritation?? The evil Comcast Cable empire!! When I moved to Denver, I went with cable internet after having so many problems with AT&T/SBC DSL service in Arkansas. I assumed that the cable monopoly was far preferable to the galactic evil of the telephone company. Well it turns out that my internet stopped working on Saturday and after troubleshooting on the phone, it turns out that Friday NIGHT is the first time a technician can come out. They also tried to tell me again that I need to rent a modem instead of using the "old" one I owned. And this technological artifact I insist on using?? Was a required purchase when I had Comcast service on the east coast last Fall AND the same modem that had worked fine her in Denver when I lived here in January. I was told that I can request a refund after the technician arrives for my week without service.

Rant #2 relates to a very kind coworker I've met her in Denver. I don't know her very well, but she's one of those truly kind, warm and genuine people you meet in this world. I know that she has an adopted child with some special needs, I believe a former preemie. At work last week, there was a sign in the break room congratulating her on arrival of a new baby!! I was so happy for her and her family!! Then two days later, word was passed around that the birth mother changed her mind and took the baby back, after they had had two nights with her. I was so angry and sad for her!! I can't imagine the heartbreak of waiting so long, being chosen to receive a baby, then having that baby taken away. I can't in any way imagine that this birth mother will provide better for the child than my coworker would have. No wonder people adopt overseas!!

I have to say that working in my field, I am VERY jaded about families these days. I can't tell you how many pitiful examples of parents I see in my line of work. It's almost to the point where a loving, attentive mother is the exception as opposed to the norm. I've taken care of babies who've been in the NICU for weeks on end with the parent visiting maybe once or twice and calling perhaps every third day or so, if even that. Now I can understand not visiting if there are other children at home, or if they live far away and don't have the resources or a car to visit, but for goodness sakes, wouldn't you call at least once or twice a day to see how your baby was doing?? Most units even have toll free numbers so there's no long distance charges. And these are sick babies in the hospital!! Imagine, if they can't be bothered to care about the sick baby, what about the healthy ones??? It's not uncommon for young mom's in their early 20s to have 2-3 kids at home in addition to the sick baby. It's just very discouraging to see these beautiful little souls, blank slates just waiting to be filled with love and knowledge, being sent to homes where you know they won't get what they need. And I think of all the people who would be happy to take these babies in .... it just really disgusts me sometimes and makes me sad for the future.