As I've gone on this journey of training and shaping up, I'm realizing how the pursuit of triathlon has also enhanced other aspects of my life. I have a history of changing jobs, getting bored and discontented quite easily and constantly chasing the dream of finding my life's passion. I've always believed that I need to find a sense of fulfillment in my work, which is probably why I've changed jobs so much. I've never been one who could just put in my 40 hours whether I really like it or not. I started out after college in public health doing environmental work. After three years, I left that job and a half-finished master's in environmental studies because I just didn't feel like I was making a difference. I thought of nursing, but at that moment my personal life took precedence over career. I ended up with a chance to move to Denver and I jumped on it and fulfilled a dream of living in Colorado. While in Denver, I ended up once more in the public health arena - this time as a healthcare inspector. But I got burned out, feeling frustration over the inability to make a change in a system that was quite broken. So at the age of 30, I was back in school getting my B.S.N. at the University of Missouri and hoping that nursing would be an area where I could make a difference and have a lot of options.
Now I'm working as a neonatal intensive care nurse and for the past few months I've been feeling a restlessness that is quite familiar. I'm getting frustrated with the status quo, angry about situations that I have no control over, and feeling powerless in a world where my standards of care aren't always realistic. I started to even question whether I should be a nurse (Great! Even MORE school!) or if I should ditch the whole thing and find a new path. Recently however, I have found a greater peace with my role as a nurse.
Since starting my tri journey, I'm finding that I focus more on the positive aspects of my job - the joy of seeing a baby come from the brink of death and make it home, the gratitude of parents who appreciate my care, or the simple ability to make a mother more at ease with a stressful situation. I feel more confident about my work, and I feel I have a better road map of where I want my career to head. I also have more energy and I feel better and stronger. I think it's because making the commitment to do a triathlon has forced me to dream big, accept no limitation and reach for something that's not going to be easy. It's given me a focal point outside of work and larger perspective on my life. Even though I haven't even gotten close to being where I need to be as an athlete, I am already seeing an impact in other parts of life - and a positive impact at that!!
Just tonight, I caught up with a very good friend who knows me well and has been through several of my life changes (and knows how unathletic I am). It felt good to share my tri dreams with him and have him take it seriously. Not only did he not laugh, but he was very encouraging. He told me he thinks I can do anything I put my mind to, and do it well, which is always good to hear from an outside and knowing source.
I have a feeling that at the end of this year, I will find that completing this triathlon will have a long-lasting resonance in my life beyond a simple race.
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