Hi I'm Jenn and I lost my motivation.

So it's been 10 day since my last post and by writing this I feel like I'm going to a 12 step meeting and admitting my addiction. Truth is I have been completely, totally unmotivated the past week and a half and I've basically done nothing. I realize that there's no point in beating myself up, and it's just best to get back on track. Today I met with my trainer for an awesome strength workout that really got me energized! She definitely has a way of making me do things I know that I would never do on my own - can you say push ups? crunches? leg scissors?

Afterwards I met up with some friends and their children for swimming in our rec center's fun grotto area. It's actually quite a workout to swim with children which I noticed as I took turns holding various non-swimming tykes who wanted to experience the lazy river and the vortex a.k.a. toilet bowl. I wish I had pictures to post because it's really the coolest indoor swimming area I've ever seen, they use it a lot for student recruitment when they're touring teens through the University.

One other thing I did today was buy a heartrate monitor. A lot of the training plans I've seen and books I've read utilize heart rate zones so I thought I better get on the bus. I purchased a Polar model online that's not the cheapest but not super expensive either. I figured there's no point in going all out until I see how well I actually utilize the technology. If nothing else, I suppose I'll see how ridiculously high my heart rate spikes when I'm running.

So tomorrow - or more accurately later today (night shift person, 3 a.m. is midday for me!) I plan on keeping up the motivation. Plans are a run today and an easy ride on the stationary bike at the rec. I'll let you know how I do!

Starting to Swim

Today was my first foray into the pool, and it actually went pretty well. I took a private swim lesson and found that my long-ago swim training at Girl Scout camp camp back quickly. I was able to do a decent freestyle, backstroke and breaststroke by the end of my lesson, now I just need lots and lots of practice! After my swim, I did some free weights with my trainer then a short 20 minute run. I felt absolutely fantastic when it was all said and done. I need to hold onto that feeling for those times I'm lounging on the couch and unable to find the motivation to get out. Also, I'm now needing to purchase some swim equipment - mainly some goggles, a cap and a couple of non-fashion swim suits for my laps. Though I'm sure there are more expensive sports to get into, I am finding that as I get into this, there are more and more things that I have to have ... well maybe I don't "have" to have them but I want them :)

Can triathlon enhance other aspects of life?

As I've gone on this journey of training and shaping up, I'm realizing how the pursuit of triathlon has also enhanced other aspects of my life. I have a history of changing jobs, getting bored and discontented quite easily and constantly chasing the dream of finding my life's passion. I've always believed that I need to find a sense of fulfillment in my work, which is probably why I've changed jobs so much. I've never been one who could just put in my 40 hours whether I really like it or not. I started out after college in public health doing environmental work. After three years, I left that job and a half-finished master's in environmental studies because I just didn't feel like I was making a difference. I thought of nursing, but at that moment my personal life took precedence over career. I ended up with a chance to move to Denver and I jumped on it and fulfilled a dream of living in Colorado. While in Denver, I ended up once more in the public health arena - this time as a healthcare inspector. But I got burned out, feeling frustration over the inability to make a change in a system that was quite broken. So at the age of 30, I was back in school getting my B.S.N. at the University of Missouri and hoping that nursing would be an area where I could make a difference and have a lot of options.

Now I'm working as a neonatal intensive care nurse and for the past few months I've been feeling a restlessness that is quite familiar. I'm getting frustrated with the status quo, angry about situations that I have no control over, and feeling powerless in a world where my standards of care aren't always realistic. I started to even question whether I should be a nurse (Great! Even MORE school!) or if I should ditch the whole thing and find a new path. Recently however, I have found a greater peace with my role as a nurse.

Since starting my tri journey, I'm finding that I focus more on the positive aspects of my job - the joy of seeing a baby come from the brink of death and make it home, the gratitude of parents who appreciate my care, or the simple ability to make a mother more at ease with a stressful situation. I feel more confident about my work, and I feel I have a better road map of where I want my career to head. I also have more energy and I feel better and stronger. I think it's because making the commitment to do a triathlon has forced me to dream big, accept no limitation and reach for something that's not going to be easy. It's given me a focal point outside of work and larger perspective on my life. Even though I haven't even gotten close to being where I need to be as an athlete, I am already seeing an impact in other parts of life - and a positive impact at that!!

Just tonight, I caught up with a very good friend who knows me well and has been through several of my life changes (and knows how unathletic I am). It felt good to share my tri dreams with him and have him take it seriously. Not only did he not laugh, but he was very encouraging. He told me he thinks I can do anything I put my mind to, and do it well, which is always good to hear from an outside and knowing source.

I have a feeling that at the end of this year, I will find that completing this triathlon will have a long-lasting resonance in my life beyond a simple race.

Paid my entry - now I HAVE to do it!

Well I signed up and paid for my Danskin registration, and since $75 is a lot to a poor starving nurse, I guess now I really have to train for and do this thing!! It's pretty exciting and I can't wait to be one of those finishers who receives her medal with pride! However, it also makes the whole thing seem real now .... maybe too real, and a little scary. I also registered for a beginner triathlon clinic for women that's being put on by Ultramax events in early April. Hopefully it will help me feel a bit more confident learning more about the process and getting some tips. I'm at the point where I just need all of the input that I can get. On a training note, I had a great run today and I will begin week 5 of my running program tomorrow. I'm also going to get in the pool for the first time no matter how many excuses I make! Let' s be honest, I don't have high aspirations that I'll be fabulous at it since I haven't swam a lap in my life. (I grew up in the country, paddling around a pond - we didn't have a swim team where I lived!) But hey, a girl's gotta start somewhere.

Back in the game

Had a great workout yesterday! Did my 3 mile run/walk combination and was excited about completing my half-mile intervals for a total of 1.5 miles of running. I've come so far from barely being able to jog 60 seconds before feeling like puking that it makes the distance I have yet to cover seem completely possible! One more workout of week 4 of my couch to 5K program, then it's on to week 5 on Monday. After running, I did 30 minutes of a hill program on the bike at the rec center, kept my heart rate up and worked those legs. I worked up a good sweat and felt GREAT! I just need to hold on to that feeling and let it propel me through those lack of motivation days.

I meet with my trainer for a core workout this afternoon then to the hospital for a night shift. Next week is definitely going to be a great week, I already feel it!!

Motivation Troubles

At my core, I am a lazy person. My idea of a perfect day off is sleeping in, getting up and making my coffee, then watching TV on the couch for hours in my jammies. I wonder if I was super active in a past life which is why I am so compelled to lounge in my current existence. So here lies the problem, how does one train for a triathlon when getting off the couch can be such a momentous task?

When I work out I feel fabulous and strong. When I visualize the achievement of finishing a race, I am energized and I suddenly realize that all things are possible. I need to figure out how to tap into those feelings and let them guide me on days like today - days when I could have accomplished all sorts of things. But what did I do?? Well I got off work at 7:30 a.m. (remember, crazy night shift nurse) was home and asleep by 8:30. I woke up around 1 p.m. thinking I would head to the rec center, enjoy the unseasonable warmth of the day, take the dogs for a walk. Instead it's now 7 at night, I'm still on the couch, watching TV, typing on the computer.

Of course the rec is open til midnight, who says I can't head out and get in a run before it closes?? We'll see.