“For her fifth wedding, the bride wore black and carried a scotch and soda."

I have to apologize in advance to any readers who were actually interested in learning about my triathlon and running pursuits, I promise that I will return to those topics ... someday... but right now I'm a BRIDE! and I'm GETTING MARRIED and it's all about ME, ME, ME!! Seriously, I thought those Bridezilla shows were staged, or at the very least highly exaggerated, but now I can see how the very thought of having a wedding turns even the most grounded, laid-back Birkenstock wearing chic into a crazed, selfish shell of her former self.

Now that I've warned you in advance .... I bought a wedding dress!!! Unlike most brides, this has been the part I've dreaded the most. I hate shopping, I can't stand pretentious people and all of my visions of wedding dress shopping ended with me as Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman where the woman at the shop tells her, "I don't think we have anything for YOU here." In addition to having no love of shopping, I am also devoid of any shopping companions locally in Little Rock. I'm sure I have an acquaintance or two who would come along if I begged, but I could seriously never torture someone with that unless they really owed me already. My backup plan was to meet my mom in St Louis in the near future, have a few cocktails (she can't stand shopping either) and pray that something worked.

Well none of those scenarios were necessary because the universe once again threw me a bone. I had a salon appointment for a waxing in the fancy schmancy "Heights" district of Little Rock and after my appointment I decided to window shop down the block. I noticed a cute pink awning and as I got closer I saw it was Proposals, which was a local bridal shop. I was familiar with it from my time reading bridal magazine crack and knew that it carried the high end lines of gowns and bridesmaids dresses. I had already planned on visiting it at some point but was dreading the Heights snobbery at my simple, low budgeted needs given that I was budgeting only $300 for my dress. Since I was already in the neighborhood I popped in. I should mention that I had no makeup on, my hair was still wet from the shower and pulled into a bun, and I was just wearing a simple tank top and flip flops. Definitely did not have the appearance of a southern belle bride looking to spend some bucks.

I was immediately greeted by Betsy who inquired about what I was looking for. I attempted to brush her off with an "I'm just doing some looking, I'm not ready to really buy yet." She then asked if I was already engaged, what type of wedding I was planning, and before I knew it she had me in the back with all the wedding dresses. She and another staff member were pulling out various dresses meeting my description of "simple, no train, something for a small intimate affair" and Betsy said, "Oh come on, let's try some on!" Before I knew it, I was in a dressing room with a cute, simple dress brought out for me by one of the staffers. It was actually a bridesmaid dress but they had recently sold it to use as a bridal and thought it was cute. She even mentioned that the company has a bridal version which is 3 times as much, but that the bridesmaid version was cute and such a great deal. I should mention that I never once mentioned my budget and several of the beautiful dresses they pulled out were silk and $1200 so they really showed me a range and seemed more concerned about my vision as opposed to price tags. I ended up trying on the bridesmaids dress first, which really is NOT like any maids dress I've seen. It was made of a substantial satin, with a cute little sweep train at the back and had a ribbon detail on the train and the bodice that could be customized in any color! I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "damn! I'm a bride!" Even though it was long and poufy at the bottom, it still showed off the body that I've worked so hard to get in shape the past year and a half!! I was hooked, don't show me another dress - this is it!!

I did of course call my Mom to make sure she would be OK with me purchasing it on my own. She asked that I have them take pictures which Betsy was more than happy to do. So I went home, dried my hair, put on makeup and came back for some shots. We threw on a veil (I tried a tiara and it just wasn't my thing), I posed for a few shots and then I wrote a check and ordered it!! If you're interested in seeing the pics, go here. The dress I ordered will be the same color, but I'm getting the ribbon detailing in plum ( a dark purple) which will satisfy my need to be a little different.

I have to say that the dress shopping was painless and the ladies at the shop were so friendly and helpful. Not at all the snobby folks that I envisioned, and never once was a nose turned up at me. One woman even said, "you definitely have the body to pull this dress off" which let's face it, is exactly what every woman WANTS to hear!!

(BTW- the title is a quote from a journalist named Phyllis Batelle and it just cracked me up. )