Wedding Reconnaisance and Sibling Rivalries

This weekend marked my first *real* visit to BJ's childhood home in Fayetteville, AR. His parents were kind enough to watch his dog while he was escorting me across Kansas so we all -and by "all" I mean the two humans and my two dog children - loaded up the car and headed up the highway to Razorback territory. I had been there briefly once before for a quick brunch, but never had the chance to really hang out and bond. The "bonding" is important in my opinion because I would prefer to have "in-laws" as opposed to "outlaws" which is how one of my uncles referred to his wife's parents.

So picture this, it's a nice balmy day in Arkansas with a temp of around 103 - perfect weather for visiting! I arrive with my two adorable dogs, I mean seriously they're adorable and it can't just be a mother's love blinding her right?? We let them frolic outdoors in the yard and introduce BJ's dog who has met my kids before, and his parent's dog who has not met lots of dogs and perhaps might want to eat my terrier. It went well for the first 3 minutes until my spaniel Oakley who is 35 pounds soaking wet, decided to attack both BJ's dog and his parents' dog both of whom are dalmatians that could easily kick his ass if they wanted to. Unfortunately both of the dalmatians are well trained to not eat smaller dogs, so they kindof cowered which just egged Oakley on even more. At first I thought perhaps Oakley was just feeling cornered or something like that, you know being defensive, but upon observation saw that Oakley was clearly being aggressive. Great! My beautiful child is the proverbial bully on the playground!! I was so distressed because he's never acted this way at the dog park and he's normally so sweet! He was so bad that we ended up having to take turns all weekend crating the dogs so that they weren't all in the house or outdoors at the same time. Tosca my terrier got along with the big dogs and her new grandma fabulously, but Oakley was just a jerk to his new "sister" and "cousin." BJ's mom was very gracious (far better than I would have reacted if some strange dog was trying to beat up on my children) and I was mortified. Apparently the merging of families and children can be just as difficult for single parents of dog children as for human children.

In other news, we headed up to Eureka Springs which is where we plan on getting married. It's a quaint little Victorian style tourist trap of a town in the mountains of NW Arkansas. I'd never been there before but by its descriptions knew it would be my kind of place, lots of B&Bs, artists, and welcoming to gay people and bikers which are two of my favorite kinds of people!! One innkeeper we met described it as, "if the Ozarks are the Bible Belt, then Eureka is the hole the buckle goes through." I just wish it hadn't been 120 degrees so that we could have walked around more and enjoyed the place.

The purpose of the trip was to scope out wedding sites. For a small town, they actually do a pretty large wedding business, mainly in the elopement style, intimate affair of which we're envisioning. I had done lots of research online and then contacted about 6 places that seemed interesting and made appointments with the three who responded. One was a bed and breakfast, another was a wedding chapel, the third a historic hotel.

We loved the B&B owner, he was very laid back and cool but the parlor there just didn't fit the vision either of us had. We'll probably stay there at some time in the future because the suites were nice and not overly girly in that Victorian style that makes me puke a little in the back of my throat. The historic hotel wasn't what I had in mind either, but had a very cool restaurant that would be perfect for a candlelight dinner after the ceremony! It has a super small dining room that's a part of the open air kitchen and the people there seemed happy to accommodate us and even mentioned how "great of a couple" we make! (and it wasn't that patronizing we're trying to get your business tone, it seemed genuine) We're going to eat there at our next trip and make sure the food is tasty because I don't want food poisoning on my wedding night. The third place we visited was a wedding chapel that also does garden/gazebo weddings. The chapel was totally what I envisioned, really small, rock wall, candles everywhere, and the proprietors were very laid back. They do commitment ceremonies, handfastings, and non-denominational
weddings. Basically it will be easy to avoid a heavy-handed Baptist ceremony which I assume is prevalent in these parts because let's face it, I will NEVER agree to obey, or let my husband lead me or my future offspring in the path of righteousness etc. etc. . I've seen some of those vows and quite frankly they scare me!! Let's just go with richer, poorer till death do us part yada yada - I'm down with that. So anyway, barring any problems, it looks like we'll be doing the little chapel on a winter evening and then having a nice dinner afterwards. I'm also envisioning a hot-looking Jenn in a form fitting dress of some sort, a *real* wedding cake (not some Sam's Club creation) but smaller in scale, fancy crystal toasting goblets to use for the champagne and to save for future occasions, a buzzed bride and groom (yes, I'm a lush), a honeymoon in a cabin with hot tub, jacuzzi and fireplace, and a blissful week without any dog children. Ahhh, I can picture it now. If I can't have a Star Trek Vegas wedding, then I think this is a nice compromise.

Now if only our dog children can learn to love one another, and I can learn to shop for a dress, this whole marriage thing would be perfect!