Time for serious consideration

I really don't think I'm a quitter.

I will admit that I am pretty lazy, and that I can procrastinate with the best of them, but I don't usually just give up on something. The only race I've ever pulled out of was the St Louis Half Marathon, but I hadn't registered for it yet and I was having major IT band problems that were causing pain after running a mile and a half. I was actually prepared for the race, it just didn't seem like a good idea. Now I find myself 7 & 1/2 weeks from my first marathon and I am woefully under trained. I've had a very hard time keeping on a training schedule this summer for various reasons, and I even switched plans to one that had less mileage. The bottom line is that I haven't prepared and that's a choice I've consciously or unconsciously made. Now I find myself living in a veritable heat wave where it's no longer a matter of choice. This past weekend I started out at 5:30 a.m. intending on doing 14 miles and had to stop after 8.4 miles because I was light headed and dizzy. My heart rate was good, I wasn't tired, I was well hydrated, taking gels, I didn't feel too hot at all, but clearly I wasn't reacting well to the new climate I'm finding myself in. I thought about continuing, but I'm one of those people who is very in touch with how I'm feeling and I honestly was a little nervous and didn't think it was worth it to push on.

I'm now at a cross road of "what do I do?" I'm fairly certain that I can finish the marathon, I mean I had an awesome half mary just three months ago when I wasn't even acclimated to the elevation or trained. I have stamina and a great deal of tenacity when push comes to shove, so I know I could finish. It just begs the question of is it worth it? Sure I could finish, but at what cost to my body and my future training?? Do I want to just finish my first marathon, or do I want to train properly and really see what I'm capable of?? I know that I'm slow and that I'll always be a back of the pack kindof girl, but there's still the competitive part of me that wants to be the best damn slow runner that I can be. At this point, I can't make up for the last three months of intermittent training and I'm certainly not going to be anywhere near "my best possible shape" for this race. I mean it's my first marathon, and how do I want to arrive at the start line? Confident and knowing that I've put in the work, or praying that my body holds up and I make it through???

I don't need to decide right now, but I'll be thinking on it the rest of the week. I'm not a quitter, but there are lots of marathons out there and I need to remember that and not let my pride get in the way of good judgement.