Job Woes

Sorry folks but today is a day that I have to vent.
As a travel nurse, one of the benefits is that in general I don't get too involved in the local politics of a hospital, the staff vs. management conflicts, day shift vs. night shift, physician vs. nurse ... basically the nitty gritty that you are invested in when you are a staff member and that's *your* unit. I've worked at places that gave excellent care, places that the staff were awesome and friendly, and places that were downright scary (please for the love of god don't EVER take your child there!) with evil co-workers. As a traveler, I always have known that after my 13 week contract - I decide in the words of the famous song by The Clash "should I stay or should I go?" I had a list of places I wanted to see, and from talking to other travelers, recommendations of great hospitals to work for.

Now I'm in Arkansas ... and I'm getting married.

It completely changes the dynamic of my career.

When I started traveling, I was getting burned out on NICU (neonatal or newborn intensive care) and I thought that traveling would give me a fresh perspective. Most of my burnout was related to the environment in the unit where I was working - a very patriarchal unit with no autonomy for the nursing staff, and a very ineffective nurse administrator. Traveling really has been an awesome experience because I've learned a lot, incorporated new skills into my practice, and recovered some of the joy I have for taking care of my patients. When I get the chance to help a new parent learn how to take care of their baby, or am the first to sit down and actually explain - in words they understand - what is going on with their critically ill child, I can tell that I'm making a positive impact.

My current problem is that now I know I'm stuck here. Don't get me wrong, as far as personal life goes - I've never been happier. But no matter how hard I've tried in the past, I have a difficult time seeing my work as just a job to pay the bills. I am passionate about what I do and why I do it. Without going into details, we'll just say that my current assignment causes a lot of frustration. There are times where I'm able to just let it go and spend my 36 hours a week giving the best care that I can to my patients and ignoring the issues around me. Then there are times where all of the politics creep in, and I get frustrated by having zero autonomy and being treated like an idiot by the medical staff. If I were still just traveling, I'd be looking at the end date of my contract and thinking ... hmmmm, where to next? Now I'm geographically limited and even more limited by being in such a specialized field .

So I'll do my best to accept the status quo for the time being, but I'm sure one of these days I'll get myself into trouble, because when you know what's right, what's wrong and what's good practice - it's hard to just sit by.