It happened in Little Rock

It's been very surreal to be a "yankee" in Little Rock during the 50th Anniversary commemoration of the desegregation of Central High School. Before moving here, I had seen some of the pictures of the event, but I never really knew where it had happened other than the South, or the legal and political context of the crisis. The picture that I remember the most was this one which epitomized how much hatred existed in people at that time. Since moving here and becoming aware of the preparations for the 50th Anniversary event I have learned more about what happened. Brown vs Board of Education, a South that was reluctant to de-institutionalize segregation, a crazy governor calling on the National Guard to prevent the black students from attending the school, a President mobilizing the 101st Airborne to protect the students, people flocking from all over to protest and take part - those who were racist and wanted to keep their lives segregated - and those who were thinking about equality.

When I reflect on my own feelings about race, I'm truly awestruck that I didn't grow up with the prejudices that still plague many people in this country (and not just those from the South). I grew up in a rural farming community in Illinois and there was ZERO diversity. Thinking back the only non-white people I can remember in our entire school district were Asian children who were adopted by one particular family in a neighboring town. The only thing that stratified our little society was socioeconomic status, there wasn't even much diversity in religion other than Catholic or Protestant. I certainly will admit that the white trash, trailer park dwellers were the ones who had the roughest time as opposed to the more well off farm kids, but that was a matter of economics, not genetics or religion. I would say that even though there was no diversity, there was still a fair amount of bigotry towards non-whites, even if it was more theoretic in nature given that most people rarely, if ever encountered black people. I certainly heard the "N" word, off color jokes and other inappropriate talk while growing up - not in my own home, but on the playground and around town. Among some of the older generations in my own family, there was clearly a prejudice, but it seemed more out of fear. I remember when I moved to the state capitol of Springfield and to a much larger high school, I was asked if there were many "coloreds" there. Though never stated outright, I am sure that the older folks in my family would have had problems with my bringing home a black boyfriend, or even a black friend at all for that matter. Of course these same people would have been concerned had I hung out with gay people, or married someone Jewish or Hispanic. Even at the age of 14, I found those viewpoints irritating and I seemed to have already developed my views on equality despite having no personal experience with people of color. Since I went to a private Catholic high school, I was still surrounded by white folk, particularly privileged white folk, yet I still never took on that persona of "we're better." My first major exposure to diversity was in college, I didn't have a lot of friends who weren't white, but I certainly knew people who were black, Jew and Hispanic. I'm not going to pretend that I'm blind to race, but it's never really affected who I'll hang out with or date. Looking back, I am just curious as to how I turned out so open minded and tolerant. Had I grown up surrounded by different kinds of people, or raised by former flower child, hippy parents, it would have made sense - but I was just a white farm girl, in a white community whose view of diversity was shaped mainly by what I saw on TV. I would guess that there are a lot of people in my old community who may not be outright racists per se, but would be very uncomfortable around black people at say a large fair in St Louis. I think it's mainly a fear of the unknown as well as stereotypes that have been passed down from older generations without any personal experience to counteract those stereotypes.

I'd like to think that it must have been my parents, more specifically my Mom, who made sure that I was not raised to judge others by their race, or religion, or other attributes. When you don't hear that kind of talk around the dinner table, it inadvertently teaches you to judge for yourself. In my case, once I left the farm (or more appropriately fled it!) I was hungry to meet all kinds of different people and expand my views. I remember meeting a girl at my summer job in college who went to Spelman, a traditionally black female college, and being intrigued by her observations of race - especially as a privileged daughter of a doctor. I've had gay acquaintances who have shared their struggles of being unaccepted by their own families, I begged Jewish friends to take me to their synagogues so I could better understand their customs, I've attend Indian holiday festivals with co-workers, let people of different religions "preach to me" so I can understand them better. I've tried to break free of the small mold that I started with, and I hope that it has made me a better person and will help me to raise children who will not stand for intolerance in their lives.