Where have all the feminists gone???

I must say that I'm a little surprised at all of the "traditional" votes on my name change poll. Of course all of this is fueling BJ and his argument that I could never go "against the internet zeitgeist." Though I must say that I think it's hard for a man to understand the concept of feeling like you're having to give a part of yourself away by changing your name. I might have felt differently about it had I gotten married when I was younger or right out of college (actually no I wouldn't have, I was FAR more strident and liberal in my early 20s) but this is who I've been for 34 years now, and professionally for over a decade. It seems like it's asking a lot for me or any woman to have to give that up.

I've heard the argument, "but don't you want the same last name as your kids?" and that doesn't really hold water. In today's culture of blended and broken families, children and parents often have different last names. I mean when my Mom remarried I never felt a lack of connection with her since we didn't have the same last name.

I've also heard the argument, if you "really loved your husband you'd want his name." Call me silly, but I think there are better measures of love than taking someone's name - like bearing their children, being faithful etc. I'm curious as to how many of those bright eyed young'ins that get married, you know the ones who excitedly plan a wedding, and happily doodle their "new name" all over their notepads when they were dreaming of getting married, are still together years later. I don't think one has anything to do with the other.

My final concern which may seem petty to others is that I have one of the most common names of my generation. In my high school class of 150, there were 13 versions of Jennifer - some going by Jenn or Jenny to mix it up. It's still a constant problem when someone in the unit says "Jennifer" and three of us turn around. So on top of that, BJ has one of the most common last names in the country, one that's as ubiquitous if not more so than Jennifer. So *if* I changed my name, I would probably be one of several people in the Little Rock area alone with that exact name, and nationwide I can't imagine how many hundreds perhaps thousands there are. When I think of charting at work, signing my orders - I've never had to worry because there definitely isn't another Jennifer [insert my current last name] around, though internet research has revealed that there's one about my age from Davenport, IA and another from Albuquerque, NM who runs marathons and plays soccer.

Anyway, I haven't decided for sure what I want to do and luckily BJ is the kindof guy who will respect what I want to do and not take it personally. Besides, if the kids get his name -seriously how can he complain??