Thursday's Trip Down Memory Lane

This week's picture is a black and white (click on photo to see in better detail) that was on the front page of our local newspaper after a tornado hit our farm in the early 80s. The storm destroyed our machine shed and the barn that me and my brother are standing in front of. I remember the morning quite well because my brother was the first up and after looking out the upstairs window yelled, "Dad the machine shed's gone!" My Dad muttered something to the effect of "whatever" then looked outside and saw the damage first hand. The barn literally looked as if it had been picked up off it's foundation then collapsed, the machine shed had one side laying over the combine and the rest of the pieces of twisted metal were strewn in a northeast direction across the fields. As I recall the combine, which is the most expensive implement a farmer owns, was OK and the hogs whose pen backed up to the shed were OK as well. Or maybe they were cows??? Ok, I just found another picture - this shows a view from behind the barn and from the machine shed. The bales of hay had been stacked inside the machine shed, the destroyed barn would have been in front of the grain bin in the right hand side of the picture. See the miracle cows clustered together by the feeder in the foreground of the house, likely traumatized by their near miss.

The interesting thing is that the local weather service insisted that there was no tornado, and a watch or warning had never been forecast because we had a NOAA weather radio that alarmed and went off anytime we had a severe weather alert in our area. Remember that this was long before Doppler radar and real time weather on TV and the threats of tornadoes coming unexpectedly were a real concern. We had all slept in our beds through the storm, upstairs in our very old, mainly wooden farmhouse. The barn was about 50 feet away from the edge of the house, and the shed maybe 75 feet. It's truly amazing that the house wasn't destroyed as well. As a child, I remember many occasions where we were alerted to a tornado warning by the NOAA radio, and my Mom would pull open the trap door on the back porch and we'd go down to the super creepy cellar that had a single light bulb hanging from the ceiling. We'd perch on giant drums of herbicide while my Dad was at the top of the stairs on the back porch watching the weather. Actually I'm still a little scarred to this day ....

Ah, the memories of living in the rural midwest!

Coffee Hound

BJ with the ever discriminating nose said, "what's that smell?" when we got home, "it's almost like burnt espresso." Much to our dismay we found the remnants of a bag of coffee in Cleo's crate. He was dismayed because what if she gets sick or caffeine poisoned ... me because it was the last of my favorite Jamaica Me Crazy coffee from the Rendezvous Coffee Shop in Columbia, MO.
And no, I'm not a callous dog mom, I just know that there wasn't that much left and she weighs too much to have gotten a large enough dose to poison her.

It happened in Little Rock

It's been very surreal to be a "yankee" in Little Rock during the 50th Anniversary commemoration of the desegregation of Central High School. Before moving here, I had seen some of the pictures of the event, but I never really knew where it had happened other than the South, or the legal and political context of the crisis. The picture that I remember the most was this one which epitomized how much hatred existed in people at that time. Since moving here and becoming aware of the preparations for the 50th Anniversary event I have learned more about what happened. Brown vs Board of Education, a South that was reluctant to de-institutionalize segregation, a crazy governor calling on the National Guard to prevent the black students from attending the school, a President mobilizing the 101st Airborne to protect the students, people flocking from all over to protest and take part - those who were racist and wanted to keep their lives segregated - and those who were thinking about equality.

When I reflect on my own feelings about race, I'm truly awestruck that I didn't grow up with the prejudices that still plague many people in this country (and not just those from the South). I grew up in a rural farming community in Illinois and there was ZERO diversity. Thinking back the only non-white people I can remember in our entire school district were Asian children who were adopted by one particular family in a neighboring town. The only thing that stratified our little society was socioeconomic status, there wasn't even much diversity in religion other than Catholic or Protestant. I certainly will admit that the white trash, trailer park dwellers were the ones who had the roughest time as opposed to the more well off farm kids, but that was a matter of economics, not genetics or religion. I would say that even though there was no diversity, there was still a fair amount of bigotry towards non-whites, even if it was more theoretic in nature given that most people rarely, if ever encountered black people. I certainly heard the "N" word, off color jokes and other inappropriate talk while growing up - not in my own home, but on the playground and around town. Among some of the older generations in my own family, there was clearly a prejudice, but it seemed more out of fear. I remember when I moved to the state capitol of Springfield and to a much larger high school, I was asked if there were many "coloreds" there. Though never stated outright, I am sure that the older folks in my family would have had problems with my bringing home a black boyfriend, or even a black friend at all for that matter. Of course these same people would have been concerned had I hung out with gay people, or married someone Jewish or Hispanic. Even at the age of 14, I found those viewpoints irritating and I seemed to have already developed my views on equality despite having no personal experience with people of color. Since I went to a private Catholic high school, I was still surrounded by white folk, particularly privileged white folk, yet I still never took on that persona of "we're better." My first major exposure to diversity was in college, I didn't have a lot of friends who weren't white, but I certainly knew people who were black, Jew and Hispanic. I'm not going to pretend that I'm blind to race, but it's never really affected who I'll hang out with or date. Looking back, I am just curious as to how I turned out so open minded and tolerant. Had I grown up surrounded by different kinds of people, or raised by former flower child, hippy parents, it would have made sense - but I was just a white farm girl, in a white community whose view of diversity was shaped mainly by what I saw on TV. I would guess that there are a lot of people in my old community who may not be outright racists per se, but would be very uncomfortable around black people at say a large fair in St Louis. I think it's mainly a fear of the unknown as well as stereotypes that have been passed down from older generations without any personal experience to counteract those stereotypes.

I'd like to think that it must have been my parents, more specifically my Mom, who made sure that I was not raised to judge others by their race, or religion, or other attributes. When you don't hear that kind of talk around the dinner table, it inadvertently teaches you to judge for yourself. In my case, once I left the farm (or more appropriately fled it!) I was hungry to meet all kinds of different people and expand my views. I remember meeting a girl at my summer job in college who went to Spelman, a traditionally black female college, and being intrigued by her observations of race - especially as a privileged daughter of a doctor. I've had gay acquaintances who have shared their struggles of being unaccepted by their own families, I begged Jewish friends to take me to their synagogues so I could better understand their customs, I've attend Indian holiday festivals with co-workers, let people of different religions "preach to me" so I can understand them better. I've tried to break free of the small mold that I started with, and I hope that it has made me a better person and will help me to raise children who will not stand for intolerance in their lives.

So what if I don't like spiders??

BJ had the afternoon off so we decided to head out of town and go hiking. We went to the Lake Sylvia Recreation area which is a part of the Ouachita National Forest (it's pronounced Wash-a-taw which I would never in my wildest dreams have guessed). It was nice and sunny with low humidity - for Arkansas- therefore a perfect afternoon for romping through the forest.

Early on I took the lead until running into a few cobwebs spanning the trail. It's probably never been mentioned before on this blog, but I am DEATHLY afraid of spiders. It's a phobia I've had for as long as I can remember, and quite honestly I don't care if it makes me a pussy. So from that point on, I let BJ take the lead and destroy all cobwebs crossing our path. Of course we didn't destroy all the webs, just the ones we couldn't duck under or step over. You might be thinking, what's wrong with a little cobweb?? And I will clearly state that I have no problem with the web, it's the MASSIVE SPIDER attached to it that freaks me out!!! And yes, along the way we saw several of those blood sucking monsters, clinging to their webs just waiting to pounce on a cute, unsuspecting red head. It may not make me the best environmentalist, and it's not like I want to kill the spiders (if they're in my house on my own turf that's a whole different ball game), but I just wanted to keep them far away from me. So yes, perhaps they'll have to work all night to rebuild their web and I'm destroying their ecosystem, blah blah blah ... well that's just tough shit as far as I'm concerned.

I was actually surprised at how little use this trail system gets. We only saw one other pair of hikers all afternoon, and from all of the cobwebs spanning the thoroughfares, clearly no one had been through earlier. The area is only 45 minutes from Little Rock and the main loop is a nice 5 mile trail that would be perfect for train running, taking the dog out, or just getting away.

I must commend BJ on his willingness to forge ahead and take the cobwebs for the team (we did try to notice them before hand and remove them with a nice stick but sometimes he just walked right through them). Of course, we were both smart enough to let the other pair that were behind us catch up after about 2.5 miles and go ahead which was an excellent way of allowing them to be the spider web finders from that point on. I did, however. find that BJ's comment, "you do know that you are completely shattering the big outdoorsy girl image you portrayed, right??" was unnecessarily harsh in response to my very occasional squeals.

Whatever!!! Can't a girl take a hike and NOT have to be attacked by spiders?? Seriously, I don't think it's asking much!

Thursday's Trip Down Memory Lane

Now that I have ALL of my pictures out of storage and in my possession - the good, the bad, and the flat out embarrassing - I will start a new feature that I like to call Thursday's Trip Down Memory Lane.

Today's trip takes us to a magical time in a young girl's life, the Senior Prom. As an adult, I've always found it fascinating that when people talk about their high school prom it's a total love/hate thing. Either it was the most horrible evening ever spent with another person involving boutonnieres and corsages or it was a lot of fun. I fall into the category of it was an AWESOME night!!

The theme was U2's "All I Want is U" which I was so stoked about given that I was a crazed fan of their music even back then. My prom date (sticker across the face to protect the innocent who has not consented to general blog distribution) was the boyfriend I had met at my after school job at K's Merchandise. I sold housewares, he sold electronics - it was a match made in retail heaven. He was very sweet and romantic, you know the cheesy type that sends you flowers and mushy cards that looking back makes you gag. The year was 1991 and while some girls went with the short, tight sequined look, for some reason I was thinking Scarlett O'Hara, debutante ball, bridesmaid dress. Either way, I looked pretty hot despite the overwhelming amount of eye makeup and scary post-80s bangs. The evening happened to coincide with our 6 month anniversary and aforementioned cheesy boy sent 6 lavender roses to school that day to symbolize our time together [pause to allow readers to throw up just a little bit] .

It's a shame you can't actually see the skinny size 5 body I've been desperate to reclaim for over a decade beneath all of the crinoline and metallic taffeta!

I challenge any of my blog readers to share their prom horrors .... ahem memories :)

A girl's gotta have her stuff

This past weekend marked a whirlwind trip to Columbia to liberate my belongings from their storage unit home of over a year. When I started traveling, I gave away a TON of stuff and only put things that I really thought I would need into a storage unit. Of course now that I am living with BJ, there were some things that I no longer needed like the 25" TV (he has a 56" one) my dining set (his is nicer and we're probably going to just buy one together anyway) and the futon frame (we are going to have two queen size beds). But all in all, most of the things I have will find a place in our home or will go to the growing garage sale pile because how many casserole dishes and glasses does a young couple need anyway??

We flew one way into St Louis and rented a car to Columbia. Our first day there was taken up by a quick visit to my friend Kristin's to see her adorable new baby Kate! I can't believe I didn't think to take a picture ... but it must have been the fact that at the time I had been awake over 24 hours since I got off work in the morning then immediately left for the airport. After our visit, we met a nice locksmith at the storage unit to pick the padlock since of course I lost the key. And seriously, I'm not a key losing type! Somewhere between Virginia Beach and Arkansas I misplaced it and it's never turned up so it's definitely gone. After a 45 minute epic battle (damn that was a good $12 lock!) we were able to enter the unit. There was no obvious damage and I set off a bug bomb to hopefully terminate all living creatures overnight. Note: some mutant spiders survived but luckily they were all only on the outsides of my belongings.

The next day we went to the campus of my alma mater and walked around because the weather was gorgeous! We stopped by the bookstore and picked up some MU paraphernalia and on the way walked by the engineering building. BJ took a picture next to the shamrock outside of the engineering building. Legend has it that if a female crosses that shamrock she is destined to fall in love with an engineer. He may not technically work as one now, but BJ most definitely has an engineering degree from the University of Arkansas hanging on our office wall :)

After spending some enjoyable time on campus, we returned to the storage unit and packed things up. Other than some dust, cobwebs, and lots of little bug carcasses on the outside of boxes, things were in good shape. The Uhaul was efficiently packed through BJ's excellent scheming and in no time flat we were on the road. After an overnight stay at my granny's in Springfield, MO we were back in Little Rock. I'm sure it will be an ongoing process to get everything truly unpacked an in place, but I've made good progress so far. At least my entire Buffy DVD collection is now nested securely in the living room and the ghosts of my past (yearbooks, prom pictures, sorority stuff) are all securely sealed in plastic totes.

Where have all the feminists gone???

I must say that I'm a little surprised at all of the "traditional" votes on my name change poll. Of course all of this is fueling BJ and his argument that I could never go "against the internet zeitgeist." Though I must say that I think it's hard for a man to understand the concept of feeling like you're having to give a part of yourself away by changing your name. I might have felt differently about it had I gotten married when I was younger or right out of college (actually no I wouldn't have, I was FAR more strident and liberal in my early 20s) but this is who I've been for 34 years now, and professionally for over a decade. It seems like it's asking a lot for me or any woman to have to give that up.

I've heard the argument, "but don't you want the same last name as your kids?" and that doesn't really hold water. In today's culture of blended and broken families, children and parents often have different last names. I mean when my Mom remarried I never felt a lack of connection with her since we didn't have the same last name.

I've also heard the argument, if you "really loved your husband you'd want his name." Call me silly, but I think there are better measures of love than taking someone's name - like bearing their children, being faithful etc. I'm curious as to how many of those bright eyed young'ins that get married, you know the ones who excitedly plan a wedding, and happily doodle their "new name" all over their notepads when they were dreaming of getting married, are still together years later. I don't think one has anything to do with the other.

My final concern which may seem petty to others is that I have one of the most common names of my generation. In my high school class of 150, there were 13 versions of Jennifer - some going by Jenn or Jenny to mix it up. It's still a constant problem when someone in the unit says "Jennifer" and three of us turn around. So on top of that, BJ has one of the most common last names in the country, one that's as ubiquitous if not more so than Jennifer. So *if* I changed my name, I would probably be one of several people in the Little Rock area alone with that exact name, and nationwide I can't imagine how many hundreds perhaps thousands there are. When I think of charting at work, signing my orders - I've never had to worry because there definitely isn't another Jennifer [insert my current last name] around, though internet research has revealed that there's one about my age from Davenport, IA and another from Albuquerque, NM who runs marathons and plays soccer.

Anyway, I haven't decided for sure what I want to do and luckily BJ is the kindof guy who will respect what I want to do and not take it personally. Besides, if the kids get his name -seriously how can he complain??

Hakuna Matata

It means no worries, for the rest of your days - it's our problem free, philosophy!

BJ took me to see The Lion King last night for my birthday and IT WAS WONDERFUL!! We saw it at the Orpheum Theater in Memphis and though it's not nearly as cool a place to see a show as The Fabulous Fox in St. Louis it still had a lot of charm.

I knew I'd love the show given that The Lion King has always been my favorite Disney movie. I remember listening to the soundtrack over and over in college as I curled up under my Simba blanket in the Pi Phi house :) I don't know why it's taken me so long to see the show, I think I forgot to order tickets during tours that came through St Louis and Denver in the past. I have to say that it was worth the wait! The show of course had the amazing music from the film, but visually the set and characterizations were stunning! The use of puppetry, the characters coming through the aisles, the imaginative way of taking cartoon images and translating them to the stage - it was just amazing. It was a show that could appeal to adults and children as evidenced by many families with their youngsters in tow. I'd much rather bring my kids to something like this than say Disney Princesses on Ice or The Wiggles.

Before the show, we walked down Beale St and ate dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe. I ordered my beer in a souvenir glass which may be totally cliche but I've never been to a Hard Rock before. Interesting bit of trivia is that the founders of the chain were originally from Memphis hence the menu of burgers and BBQ.

After the show, we had these fabulous pastries at the Blues City Pastry Company. BJ had a fruit tart and I had a peanut butter cream tart, we both needed strong coffee to cut the richness a bit and caffeinate us for the two hour drive home.

All in all, it was a perfect birthday present! Hakuna Matata!

What am I????

Another blog I read had this quiz on it, when I said to BJ, I'm a chimera he replied, "ah, but of course." My quick response was "you don't even know what a chimera is!" Then I quickly remember the SIX bookshelves of science fiction fantasy books in the office, the three packed boxes of the same genre ready to go to the second hand bookstore and the closet full of Warhammer gaming equipment ... then I said "never mind."

You Are a Chimera

You are very outgoing and well connected to many people. Incredibly devoted to your family and friends, you find purpose in nurturing others. You are rarely alone, and you do best in the company of others. You are incredibly expressive, and people are sometimes overwhelmed by your strong emotions.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

No, I'm not like other people

I really don't care that much about my birthday and I'm not one who gets angry or feels jilted if there's not a celebration or some big production in my honor. It probably stems from many years of living far from my family and not even telling people in general that it was my birthday.
For example, on my 30th which is a time traditionally reserved for partying and merriment, I was in nursing school clinicals - on the post partum floor as I recall. After a long day of characterizing lochia (and if you don't know what that is, I will not disgust you with a link), I had a very low key dinner with a few friends and was in bed by 9 p.m.. Last year I was on assignment in Virginia Beach and so I took myself to the Cheesecake Factory for mojitos and turtle cheesecake. I can't even recall what I did any of the birthdays when I lived in Colorado which leads me to believe that they weren't very memorable. So needless to say, the fact that I worked last night, slept all day, and work tonight on my birthday does not bother me in the slightest.

When I work up this afternoon however, I was hungry and just as I grabbed the Healthy Choice meal from the freezer I remembered HEY! We just got some Chef Boyardee at the store yesterday, 10 cans for $10!! I smiled a huge smile as I poured my can of mini beef ravioli - a delicacy I hadn't had in recent memory - in a bowl. While I ate my overly processed and tasty treat, I thought to myself .... what a nice birthday surprise!

edited to add - clearly the gods were against me on this, the 34th anniversary of my birth. When I arrived at work, I was floated to the Cardiac ICU which generally causes me to panic and wish that I could be heavily sedated. As I took report on the baby in front of me with all kinds of drains and devices and parameters to monitor that I know absolutely nothing about, the tears that *almost* fell completely removed any joy I had received from my ravioli.

War is Over!

After moving the bachelor loveseat into the office, we deemed that it would be a dog friendly area, so at various time we've seen a dog lounging on it. Today, however, BJ turned around from his desk and saw this amazing site!!
All we are saying, is give peace a chance :)

It's raining men!

OK, not *really* - but it IS raining! This is the first rain we've had since I moved to Arkansas and it's a doozy! It occurred to me that BJ hasn't had to mow the crunchy, former shell of a lawn since we moved here therefore I've been denied the vision of a sweaty, shirtless BJ out in the yard doing man stuff. I mean I'm completely capable of mowing a lawn (though my former neighbors in Columbia might disagree) but if there's someone else stepping up to the plate to do it, then I'm all for that!!

The only downside of the aforementioned rain is my need to run. I don't know if I've ever fully disclosed on this blog that I am a complete klutz therefore running on wet pavement always makes me a wee bit nervous. I'm determined, however, to train faithfully for my next race. If for no other reason than to have a strong showing against BJ who is shaping up to be quite the runner. And BTW future mother-in-law, no - it's not funny at all that BJ is faster than me. It's a cruel knife in my adult onset athlete side that someone who just started running earlier this summer can already kick my ass. As a matter of fact, my future sister-in-law and brother-and-law are also doing the infamous Couch to 5K program and I'm sure it's only a matter of weeks before they're beating me too. If only I was marrying into a family of really obese and lazy people, THEN I could be the fast one. If only I had thought of that before ....
But does anyone really think I could be that shallow??
[Hint, yes I really could be :) ]

Well I'll just have to content myself with being the better looking runner of this marriage. With my cute running skirts, waterproof mascara, and full makeup - at least I'll be the one looking pretty at the finish line.

I LOVE my bridal shop!!

Here's a dress ...


and here's a dress.....


Can you pick the bridesmaids dress that retails for $300 and the bridal dress that retails for $956??

Yeah, me neither!

The only difference that I can tell between the two is that the bridesmaids dress (which I bought) is made of "duchesse satin" while the bridal is "silk satin" which I assume is a finer fabric. Obviously, I could care less about having the cheaper fabric and I have to say that I LOVE my bridal shop for showing me this dress and pointing out what a good deal it was!! There's nothing I love more than a great bargain and I didn't realize how much until I was doing some research today!!!

p.s. BJ has already seen the ad for the dress, I was pretty confident that I could show him the advertisement of the girl perched on the couch with her ass in the air and not remotely give him a clue as to how it will look on me. Somehow I doubt that this pose will end up in my wedding scrapbook.

Evil Stepmommy??

I was starting to think that Cleo would never forgive me for moving in, bringing my two obnoxious dogs and wrecking her formerly simple existence with BJ, but I think she's learned to love all of us! What a good doggie!

Fast Men and New Furniture

Is it wrong for me to admit that though I am very proud of BJ's latest race endeavors, I'm slightly irritated that he is now officially faster than me??? Yes, folks your friendly blog author really IS that shallow.

So yesterday was BJ's second 5K and the absolute gorgeous temps in the high 60s at the start were perfect for a run! I had worked an overnight shift so I was in a slight daze when I arrived. BJ was running with his friend Ken so I was on the lookout for Ken's wife and son - I rightfully assumed that a stroller would be an easy find in the crowd. After meeting up with JJM, we headed towards the finish line to await the arrival of our two favorite runners. The race was the Arkansas Clear Mountain 5K and it was one of the racing series for the Arkansas road runner groups so there were lots of FAST people, for example the winner came in just at 15 minutes. I knew that BJs goal was to beat 30 minutes (a goal I have long held missing twice and at 30:41 and 30:32) so I started looking closely at 27 minutes. I should mention that staying true to my vision of racing, BJ was concerned about what shirt to wear, whether it would good etc. Clearly I have taught him that it's not only about how you race, but how GOOD you look when you race! When I finally saw him, he was sprinting hard to the finish and made it right at 29 minutes!!!! You suck!! ...... err I mean, Good for you!! Great job!! Here's a pic of him and his friend Ken (copyright jjm) - what nice looking runners don't you think??? It's a shame they had both taken off their headbands, it gave them both such a nice retro 80s touch!!

After returning from the race, our new furniture was delivered! It was a shock to see the former bachelor pad living room suddenly turned into a warm, and welcoming living room as befitting the status of two, cool, young professionals. We now have a cream colored couch with sage and rust accents pillows, a kick-ass old fashioned leather club chair, and a fun, red hot swivel chair that we just threw in the mix because it was also on clearance and I loved it! Every time I walk into the room I still grin and the couch is hands down the MOST COMFORTABLE couch I've ever been on. Seriously, it's soft and wide and so roomy that even two people who really didn't like each other could lay down and barely touch. The dog children have sniffed around once or twice and I think we had to tell each of mine at least once to get down.







































And for when we're not watching?? We purchased these evil mats from Dr Fosters and Smith (my favorite dog stuff supplier!) to place on the furniture.I'm guessing that it will only take one time of jumping up and feeling unpleasantness on their paws before they stay away forever. I feel a little mean, but we are determined that this will NOT be dog furniture and given that they all have comfy beds (Cleo just got a new one this week that even matches one of the cushions on the couch) I refuse to feel guilty.